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dragonfly137927
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 8/22/2007 6:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,
 
My nana is not doing well at all.  The NH has family meetings every other Wednesday so my mom attended again today.  My papa finally realized she wont be going home and that she will be gone soon.  Hospice started today they are keeping her in the same room as before even though they also have a separate hospice building there.  She stopped taking pills orally whether she is rejecting them or cannot really swallow well we're not sure.  They are giving her Adivan and morphine IV at this point the adivan wont hurt anything.  When I talked to my mom yesterday she held the phone to my nan and I told her I love her and that eric (my husband) loves her too.  She was responding but so low I couldnt understand but my mom reiterated it to me.  Tonight I called and some more of my family was there visiting(one of which has her Phd in nursing and teaches at a local university).  She was restless even with the adivan and morphine I am unsure if they had recently given it and it was not working/taken effect yet or if she was due for another dose.
 
Since my papa realized he will be alone in that house (he said this to my folks not to myslef and eric) about us moving in with him.  That just isnt good for anyone, he needs to grieve and eric and I havent even been married 2 years yet, this last year being crap due to my crohns disease...it started flaring 1 year ago exactly after being in remission for a year.  He and I want children, yes it would be nice to not have to pay rent but he is the type of man who likes to putt around the house fixing this that and the other, he would potentially be into our personal life a little more than we would like.  I am sure he is welcome at my folks house anytime for a meal...granted he was the one that cooked it wasnt my nana that did the cooking.  I mentioned to my folks maybe a pet would be a good idea for him, since I work for a veterinarian I can adopt a shelter pet for $0 and if I say the animal is mine all things are at cost as far as vaccines etc, surgries are free, meds are discounted...they would just have to think it was my pet so I could get the discount.  Maybe not right away but he has been caring for her for many years now with her failing health.  I think he is going to find lots of extra time in the end and may need to fill that void.  He will be 80 in December and as far as health he is okay but many yrs ago we feared he was getting AD, he has trouble understanding things and does forget some stuff but that can be common as well, especially when in denial.
 
Thank you all for your thoughts wel wishes and prayers
Stef
Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/22/2007 7:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Stef
Mom passed away 2 yrs ago March and dad refused to leave a 5 bdrm house ......had to stay with all the memories the gardens everything..........
He ended up only using 1 room basically and that was it ........His DEN

He would not even turn on the Television in the Living Room as Mom use to sleep in there on the couch

I and others had suggessted that he get roomates and he definitely DID NOT want that under no circumstances ......

I could not live there at all
My sister ( even though when Mom was alive ) did nothing for her nor Dad but Cait Howie and I did
WE were not there one wknd Mom had been taken to hospital saw my Doctor ( our Doc ) and he said she had a " touch" of Pneumo and sent her home to rest with antibiotics and meds ..........

MY sister then decided to rip down 80 yr old wallpaper and PAINT in the kitchen and part of LR just about near mom with no thoughts of what the fumes from paint and mold from wallpaper would do at all

Mom was rushed back to hospital I was not informed til next day and I got to see her being airlifted out of that hospital to a bigger one in London......
I called that night ...no visitors ......she was resting but not in great shape they said ........I went to get the phone the next morning at 5:50 am Mom was gone

I tell you this only as I know what you will face or might face and you are going to have to stand your ground ........I did ...I had to as you well know what stress and other influences have on our D Crohns

I have moved Dad to Strathroy where I live put house up for sale .........he is in a self contained lil apartment AND the landlord let him keep his dog so I have to say he is very happy as am I and very close by us
We both needed the move too many memories there good and bad....everyone knew your business BEFORE you did lol
You and Eric have just gotten Married and I think someone else whoever the one is Executor will have to deal with this when time comes not you n Eric

All I can say in closing sweetie is make some memories......... good ones ....keep telling her how much you love her and what she has done for you and your life .........

I will keep you in my heart thoughts and prayers along with your Nan and Mom .....Grampa too .......

This does not mean she will be gone right away hun she is comfy and w/o pain be happy for that for her as I know you are

God BLess.......

Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
          Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
                 EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
                 " Friends Are Cheaper Than Therapists "
 
  
                                  


dragonfly137927
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 8/23/2007 5:26 PM (GMT -6)   
The only people on the deed to the house are my papa and nan. My mom is seeing a lawyer that specializes in elderly affairs on sept 6th about placing her name on the house. Since she is an only child everything goes to her and my dad in the will she is executor. Both my mom and dad feel it is unhealthy to move in with him. I felt this way too, but eric feels it would be good for us in the fact that we want a family soon (after I get the ok from my GI). Moving in with him would help out as far as rent goes. He felt even more so to lean towards moving in after my job informed me that my limitations, (since I have been out on tdi) that are only until sept 20th make that there is no job there for me. I was told you would probably do better sitting down somewhere answering phones or at another vet office doing kennel work (that was my job there kennel work). I dont know if this is something where I could sue over discrimination or not especially after reading the section in the handbook...which I may add must also be returned upon termination as well as office keys. If keys are not returned you will be charged to place new locks and make new keys for all employees.

In this situation what would you do as far as moving? What about the possible EEOE/ADA possible breech?

Thanks
Stef
Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/25/2007 6:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Steph
Personally there is a good point to moving in like Eric said .....BUT you's are just newly married ......I dont think thats a good part ya know
You's neeed to have your own place your privacy and not worry about your grammpa 24/7

I am sure your parents think the same

As for going after them for dismissing you
I would not wait ONE moment longer to call a lawyer and ask your rights and what you need to do to start a lawuit
That is dizcrimination I believe in all honesty
They say you can get another job " doing kennels " well what the H*** is wrong with you staying there and doing same job they are telling you to go look for ?????
I really think you can get them on this .........

Take care and please do keep posting here ..........
Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
          Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
                 EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
                 " Friends Are Cheaper Than Therapists "
 
  
                                  


dragonfly137927
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 8/26/2007 4:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I decided that I am not going to turn in my employee handbook even tho it says upon termination it must be returned. I have been reading things on disability laws etc. Once things calm down aroud here I will look further into this.
Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/26/2007 4:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Please keep me in the loop
I really do think there is something you can do and I wouldnt turn th book in either.............

Call a free lawyer service ..........and ask all about this tital situation and I am positive they ar definitely in the wrong here

Take care my friend

Luvs
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
          Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
                 EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
                 " Friends Are Cheaper Than Therapists "
 
  
                                  


dragonfly137927
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 9/5/2007 4:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I contacted the EEOC at the end of last week and now awaiting either an email call or letter from them. If I find I may have a case then I will go about persuing it.
Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987
 
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/6/2007 8:38 AM (GMT -6)   
PLEASE keep me posted on what goes on this is not right what they are doing to you my friend

LUVS
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
Moderator for Anxiety /Panic
Moderator for Alzheimer's
Co Moderator for Crohns Disease 
 
 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
 
  
          Be Thankful for the Difficult times..During those times we GROW
 
                 EMPATHY is Always Better than APATHY
 
                 " Friends Are Cheaper Than Therapists "
 
  
                                  

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