In His Grip
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"
Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum
UCTD, Hashimotos, Inflammatory Bowel, Inflammatory Arthritis
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Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. It seems kinna strange asking for help rather than giving it for a change! If her "friend" was to take her in Scotland she would get next to no visitors. He is the only one up there reallwho would visit and since he runs a busy farm, I doubt he would manage more than once every couple of weeks. If she was to come to us we would be able to visit 5-6 times a week. (Assuming thats what is in her best interest).
As for the timeline, I am glad that the average is 10 years. I understand that averages mean that people live longer and shorter than the average but I was thinking around the 3-5 years mark so I am relieved about that. I know everyone is different but (Generally) is there a longish period of time between where she is now (Memory loss) and her losing other mental functions such as speech?
I have heard of Aricept. It was licenced not long ago here in the UK. Her meds have not been sorted out yet, but I want to know if there is anything that I should be on the lookout for (I.e. anything that is not very good or Something that is really helpful). Also any other natural remedies that may help? Can anyone help me?
Thanks in advance,
Post Edited (AlwaysRosie) : 9/26/2007 1:01:15 PM (GMT-6)
Just clear up a little confusion... Scotland is part of the UK, as is England, Wales and Northern Ireland. She is currently in Scotland but we want her to be in England.
For my step-dad, mum and sister it would not be a problem. They live in Gosport where the NH is and visiting is not an issue. For me, its slightly more complicated than that. I am a university student studying in Wales, so I am only in Gosport for 3 weeks at christmas, 3 weeks at easter and 14 weeks in the summer. I would not be able to visit on a regular basis throughout the year and I dont want to confuse her anymore by visiting at Christmas, and then disappearing until easter. Is it better for me to stay away? Is it going to be too confusing for her? I would love to get to know her, but not if it is going to be detremental for her. I will certainly keep people posted of her developments and successes. As you say, it might provide a ray of light for other people as well as giving me a chance to get things off my chest and talk to someone!
All the Best
Thank you so much for your support and for sharing your story. As I think I have mentioned before, it is difficult for me when I am at University, but I speak to my mum on a regular basis to find out how she is doing. Currently, she is in Scotland and is due for re-assessment in 5 weeks time so we are hoping that she can come to stay with us then. I am so grateful that you have all welcomed me into your family and I will keep you posted.
My folks have been on the phone to my step-grandma (Babs) and it would appear that she is not settling very well in the NH in Scotland. We didnt think she would anyway, but we are not sure if it is the AzD making her confused or if she really doesnt like it. I suppose if she is still like it in a few weeks time we will know that she isnt happy there. Apparently the staff at the NH say that Babs comes to the office when the phone rings as if she is expecting my mum & step-dad to be on the other end. So she has at least got into her head that we ring regularly. Thats got to be a good sign right? Nothing more to the story really other than she has good days and bad days like so many others do. I doubt much will change in the next 5 weeks or so until we finally decide where she is going to live.
Thanks for your on-going support
I totally understand about the depression thing... that was the first thing that I thought about when I heard that she was doing that. Because not every phone call is going to be for her. Although my mum and step-dad do phone her every night. I never thought about having a phone in her room though! Thats a good thought! I am phoning my mum tonight anyway so I will ask her about that. Other than that, there is no change.
Just an update for everyone,
Babs has settled well in Scotland and as a result, we have deceided not to move her from where she is as we think it may confuse her even more. Although it means we will only be able to physically see her once or twice a year, we can still phone her whenever we like. As for having a phone in her room, I dont think the home would allow that even though I dont see the harm. Perhaps the cable would be a trip hazard?
Thanks for all your support
Thanks for your support guys. The other advantage to leaving her in Scotland is that her care is partly paid for by the state which would leave more money for her to do other things. If she was to move over the border into England, she would have to be completely self-funding and that would be a real drain. Especially if she has another 20 years in her.
Once again, thank you for all your support