My Moms current stage - anyone have this situation??

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Hotflash1028
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Date Joined Jan 2007
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   Posted 11/29/2007 11:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Trying to figure out if this is a stage/state of alzheimers or not... Really hard when you cannot communicate with your loved one, but, was hoping maybe someone else is experiencing this... My Mom just keeps screaming... It is at a steady pace, like timed and constant. We were able to get her to stop before by holding her hand or gently massaging her forehead.  Or, I would just say MOM! real loud and she would look at me and stop, then start again.  Now, tonight she just keeps screaming. No matter what we do or say, she just keeps it up. The nurse gave her a pain pill in case she is in pain, which should have helped but and hour and a half later she was the same, just screaming.  They drew blood from her hand for blood tests, she kept screaming at the same pace almost as if she is in a locked state of mind (or mouth). Then the doctor ordered a pain patch, but, no change.  We just want her to be at peace, be able to sleep and rest, but in this state that is impossible....  Why do we allow them to suffer so much???  We show more empathy for animals....
This disease is so dam sad and heartbreaking.......... the long goodbye.
 
Thank you for any ideas or info to help my Mom
Doreen

SnowyLynne
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   Posted 11/30/2007 4:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like you may need a dr thats schooled in Alzheimers or dementia.Does she have a Neurologist?
SnowyLynne


Hotflash1028
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   Posted 11/30/2007 6:58 AM (GMT -6)   

SnowLynne

She is in a nursing home where they have Doctors on their panel.  When they go to the nursing home to check the patients we are not informed. All responses are handled by the nurses.  My Sister went above heads and called the doctors directly yesturday, the main one was the psychiatrist to ask if he could put her back on an anti-depressant - he scolded her for calling him and going outside the normal protocol of the  nurses only calling.  He said he could not do anything without seeing her and speaking with the primary care doctor.  The primary care doctor does not return the calls. Only speaks thru the nurses.  We cannot remove her from the nursing home as she cannot walk anymore.  She had 2 TIA's in August and went downhill after that, then she had another seizure that lasted about 3 minutes Thursday at about 3 AM.  Since then, she does not stop screaming.

As far as a neurologist, I do not think one has seen her recently.  That I will take up with the nurses and see if it is possible. Hard to diagnose her since we cannot speak with her or get an answer from her if we ask a questions.  I hate this dam disease and what it has done to her.  Scary thing - she had 9 sisters - including her, 4 of them have been diagnosed with AD, one of them passed away 2 years ago.

Thank you

Doreen

 


Howlyncat
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   Posted 11/30/2007 8:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome Doreen

I totally agree with Snowy she does need to see a neuro and find out exactly what she has got going on ..............

Another question....why pain meds has she had past injuries...........and is she on any calming meds or ad meds at all ??

Please do stay with us and know we are here for you and your mom.........I lost mom awhile back and now look after my dad with the same DD that yes it is a robber of our loved ones ............

Be well and hang in there........God Bless
LYN


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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/2/2007 11:28:47 AM (GMT-7)


Hotflash1028
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   Posted 11/30/2007 8:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Lyn,
My Mom has been on aricept and another AD medication for years now. She was doing fantastic until December 26th 2006 when she fell at the nursing home.  She loved to walk and would walk thru all the hallways to visit everyone,a very loving woman. If there were people to see and talk to, music playing - she was happy.  She loved to sing, dance and smile (and flirt with the men). Then she fell...she became very combative, cursing, spitting, pinching, biting - you name it.  They then had to send her to a "crisis center" which was basically for drunks, drug addicts etc., at a local hospital.  That was New Years weekend of 2006. We stayed with her and did everything to keep her calm, but, she even fought my sister and I. They had her strapped down arms, legs, etc.  It was horrible.
Finally they got her stabilized and returned to the nursing home . But she was never the same.  We had all tests run, even thought maybe she had had a stroke, but, all results of tests came back negative. They kept her on antidepressants, her AD meds, sinus meds.. then slowly started to take her off of the anti depressants, etc. But stayed with the AD Meds (they wanted her off of that too, but we refused).  Then in August she had a few mini strokes and slipped further away.  She cannot communicate with us, she is bedridden now, cannot walk or sit up. Her hands are kept in fists, closed up and if we try to open her hands to trim her nails she would scream in pain. Now, it is just screaming. The only reason we think it may be due to some type of pain is because when the medication finally kicked in and she was dozing off, the screaming turned into the words.... ow, ow, ow, ow (very gently and quietly).  So, we are assuming she is in some type of pain.... Right now she is on a low dose of darvocet, a pain patch, aricept and thats it.  They are waiting to see if that helps, she has quieted down, but that is because she is sleeping.  If the pain meds do not seem to ease her screaming, etc., then the psychiatrist will examine her sometime next week to see what he feels it is. 
Just want her to be at peace.......
 
Doreen

SnowyLynne
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   Posted 12/1/2007 4:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Do you have POA? If so you do have control over the situation,or you can move her to a more acceptable place of your choosing..............What medications Is she on?You can have a say in that too.


SnowyLynne


Hotflash1028
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Date Joined Jan 2007
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   Posted 12/1/2007 6:25 AM (GMT -6)   
SnowyLynne
My sister has full POA ... which is good - she is single and self employed therefore has more time to handle all of this, very meticulous and honestly does everything possible for my Mother. This is the 4th nursing home she has been in and honestly she is kept very clean, her room is spotless and the staff is more receptive to her needs as well as ours for her. The last Nursing home she was in was a nightmare and all the complaints fell on deaf ears within the home, finally we got her out of there. (Just saw this nursing home on the feds recent list of the 52 worst nursing homes in the USA)(This was the only one on the list for New Jersey).... We do keep up with her meds, in fact just had a care meeting for her this past Tuesday to go over everything. Now we are requesting her to be placed back on the antidepressants, but, as I explained it has to be okayed by the staff physician and psychiatrist. She has been in and out of hospitals so much this past year which each time is very traumatic for her. The only way a neurological exam would really do any good ( i think) is if they could speak with her. She has had all the MRI's, Cat Scans blood tests, xrays etc.... I trust my sister to the max, of course we have disagreements on certain care things, which is normal, but honestly if I were ill, I would want her to be my responsible care person.
Doreen

Howlyncat
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   Posted 12/1/2007 2:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Doreen
IMHO
It sounds like your sister's circumstances and behaviuor changed with the " crisis centre"
Why they would put her with drunks and addicts is beyond me and I am positive it has had a lasting effect on her .........But thats my opinon.....

There is thread here on the Nursing homes and care/ quality or lack of

I am glad she has settled but In all honesty because she no longer screams as though she is in pain and is only saying ow ow ow aftr pain meds given that doesnt nesessarily mean she has pain or is screaming about pain........IMHO.....Just my opinion........

It could just mean she is drugged up enough not to scream all the time ....
I am glad she may be seeing a pysch or therapist to find out what the root cause is and I do hope you will continue to post and let us know what is going on with her

Stay with us plz

**Remember these are my opinions only**............LYN


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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/2/2007 11:30:17 AM (GMT-7)


Hotflash1028
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Date Joined Jan 2007
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   Posted 12/1/2007 9:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Lyne, thanks for your caring and questions.... It is very difficult as all of us know with loved ones with Alzheimers.....  I honestly think we are losing her.  It is hard, but, in reality we lost her a long time ago, right??  To see her go on like this is heartbreaking, for us and very sad for her.  She is still yelling or screaming out. Nurse said she fought them when they tried to feed her. Usually, everytime she opens her mouth to yell, they put a spoonful of food in her mouth.  This way she eats all her food (all soft of course) and gets the nourishment she needs. However, tonite she didnt want the food.  She is quiet and resting now, that is the main thing... I guess.
 
Thank you again,
Doreen

Howlyncat
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   Posted 12/2/2007 1:45 PM (GMT -6)   
HI Doreen
Am glad she is eating and I wish there was a better way to have her eat in all honesty BUT like you said she is getting nourishment this way.........

Although Dad is basically gone he is still with me and I talk to him and he responds to many different stimuli
Do not get into the mindset she is gone hun ......IMHO she knows you are there and she knows you love her ....no matter what the mind has done from this DD..........

The " stages" are all differnt as far as i am concerned I worked for many yrs in Nursing homes and had my own until I got to sick to kep it going

Mom was okay one moment and then wham it hit her like a ton of bricks .........
Dad he is okay to a point and is taking Nemada

I think with Mom it was C/o of pnuemonia nd the AD

With dad it will be from a broken heart it has not been to long since we lost her and I do alot of thinking and crying missing her even with the Ad taken over her ya know........Dad calls me Judy ( her name) and I do look the most like her I am sure this has alot to do with his confusion about whether she is here or not ....

I am glad your Mom is resting hun and I do know for one thing YOU need to look after yourself as well as you are no good to her if you are down sick .........And you need " me" time .......even if just a hot tubby with candles each night ...it helps and
So does knowing you are doing all your BEST to make sure she is okay ........
Keep posting hun and I will keep you and your mom in my heart thoughts and prayers

Luvs
God Bless
LYN.


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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/5/2007 6:21:08 AM (GMT-7)


Hotflash1028
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   Posted 12/4/2007 11:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Lynne
Thank you for your reply and your suggestions.... It is so difficult to see our parent(s) suffer this way.  I am so sorry that both of your parents have been hit with AD, that is even more difficult.
My "me" time is on the computer. I work full time, and right  now it is even more stressful as the owner/president of the company (very small one) passed away on Nov. 9, 2007 after a short illness, so everything is changing there and the other 2 people who I work with in the office do not like the changes, so they keep fighting and complaining.  And me, I am just thankful to have full time job and be making a paycheck.  We do not know how long that will last with all the problems with the mortgage industry, but, we are fighting to keep going (me and the 2 full time appraisers that it).... Plus, trying to help out my late bosses wife with all the changes, etc. Plus, I have 2 daughters and am a single (divorced) Mom.
However, I know what  my Mom is going thru within herself is worse than all of that put together plus...... 
Unfortunately, I think what happens with these doctors who take care of elderly patients with different diseases that are not curable, is that they have to put up a wall in order to block out all the suffering and eventual passing on. They get that wall up so high and thick that they lose all compassion for the patient and their family, which is not really fair to anyone.  My Mom's physician (thru the Nursing Home) is like that.... He gets you so mad.....  As he states "we don't really know if she had a siezure or what was going on, the only way to know that is to put her in the hospital for tests". or ----- when we ask if (in his opinion) he feels we are doing everything we can for her, to keep her comfortable, etc." his response "we have been all thru this conversation before".  Now, tell me, what kind of answer is that??
I went to see her tonight, it is obvious she did have some type of siezure or TIA - her right eye doesn't open all the way.  If I try to hold her hand or touch her gently, she yells out.  Even if I try to sit on the end of the bed just to be close to her, she yells out as if I am hurting her..... However, she is eating (hand fed) 100% of her meals (all soft foods) - so that is good.....
What answers are there?? Every AD patient is so different, how do you know if what you are doing is right or wrong???
 
Thanks again,
Doreen

Howlyncat
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   Posted 12/5/2007 8:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Doreen ........you really dont know except in your heart and i know in my heart YOU are doing all you are able to do for her right now and yes keep at the doc's.....I keep coming back to the " crisis centre" and what may have triggerd something in your Mom to be acting like this ........the yelling ...
.
I honestly wish there was a way we could find out what this is caused by
I am so bleeding lucky to have a doc that LISTENS and has empathy .........a long ago emotion they use to all have IMHO.......and desperately need to re educate themselves on ..........

Be well sweetie and know I am here as are others

Luvs
Lyn.
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Hotflash1028
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   Posted 12/5/2007 7:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Lyne, she was brought to the crisis center at the hospital because she was violent.  She was biting, pinching, spitting and hitting the aides and nurses. Even cursing them out.  The aides were concerned because she would run from them and they were afraid she was going to fall again and break a hip, bone, etc... She became violent AFTER she had fallen in one of the other residents room. They found her there and from that moment on it was as if someone else took over her. She was always gentle, loving, laughing and wanting to just walk the halls all day visiting people (one nurse wanted to put a pedometer on her to see how many miles she actually walked)
Walking was her way of life, she never drove a car, always walked or took local buses, but, mainly walked - no matter how cold it was outside, snow storms, rain, thunder, heat and humidity she always loved to walk.  
They had to restrain her when the EMT's came to get her to transport her to the hospital, even then, she tried to pitch, hit them etc.
My Mother was never, ever like that.  We were with her for the entire time she was at the crisis center. It went in between the Emergency room bays and the crisis area. But, she was not left alone there.  Between my Sister and I we stayed by her side. So, nothing happened to her while she was there, it was prior to her arriving.
 
Thank you again
Doreen

Howlyncat
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   Posted 12/8/2007 6:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for sharing all of that Doreen....

I just have no clue what would make her go off this way and I wish I did have some way to help you's figure it out'
It has to be so danged hard to watch and see her change from what she was to what she is now ........

What about medications .I know she is on Aricept and AD's but what AD's if you dont mind me asking ??

I am keeping you and her in my thoughts and prayers for sure

LYN
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        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
      
 
 
                            

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