With The New Year...........

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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/28/2007 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Morning all
 
Just wanted to say that thru the past year I have seen so many of you change for the better ....by taking baby steps doing techniques with your meds or w/o .......fighting this Dang fight the best you can and I am so proud of each of you
 
I would love for us to just put one thing down from last year we accomplished and the let the year go and go into the NEW YEAR with all the best to come
 
Support,caring empathy and family like atmosphere here really makes a BIG difference in my life ......how about yours ............
 
I know of your accomplishmensts as do you and others BUT how about putting just one down .............and what HW has done for you n the ppl
 
Lets start the New Year ........NEW and stronger .......together as always
 
yeah  I am taking many less Valium then ever before .........BUT the best thing I have gotten this year is the fact this is the 1st year with NO intravenous and no sores at Christmas...............what a great gift I do believe .........it has been 10 yrs since I have not had an IV at Christmas............
THats a couple for me
ONE is a major breakthru for sure tongue
ALL of you have helped me along my journey this year and it has been a rough one the roughest I think .........THANKS,.........
 
NEXTTTTTTTTT......if you care too share....LYN


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
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  CO-Moderator@ Crohns
       Anxiety/Panic
  Moderator@ Alzheimer's
DX @ Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum ,Anxiety /Panic
New DX of C.O.P.D.
ON too Many meds to post.........
 
        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
 
                 Happy Holiday From My Home To Yours
      Please Stay Safe and Have  a Designated Driver .........
                           LYN N CAIT
 
 
                            


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/28/2007 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
I am going into the NEW YEAR with a new mindset........
I am strong I have CHOICES I can make or not make
IT is up to me...........
I will not let anxiety eat me away .......literally..........

I DO see the light at that end of tunnel and my glass is always now half full ...............
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
                          http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
 
  CO-Moderator@ Crohns
       Anxiety/Panic
  Moderator@ Alzheimer's
DX @ Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum ,Anxiety /Panic
New DX of C.O.P.D.
ON too Many meds to post.........
 
        We Have Anxiety.....Anxiety Does NOT have Us
 
 
                 Happy Holiday From My Home To Yours
      Please Stay Safe and Have  a Designated Driver .........
                           LYN N CAIT
 
 
                            


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/28/2007 9:49 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello All

Well last year I was not doing well at this time of year, in fact I was using Vicodin for my herniated disk in my lower back.  In reality  I was having a reaction between the AD and the pain med but I did not realize that.  I was liking the Vicodin..............and my Pdoc said it has to go.  nono

You would think  she is my Mom...............ok, I got pneumonia  the first part of January and I had been weaning off the Vicodin and I felt like I was dying so on January 15,2007 I flushed the narcs down the toilet and I have not touched one since.

Holy Moley..............almost a year. I remember when I counted the days I was free of the narc. For pain I use Aleve.

yeah   yeah    yeah   yeah   yeah   yeah   yeah    yeah    yeah    yeah    yeah   yeah    yeah   yeah   yeah  

 I started  therapy with a new therapist that I liked and trusted........we did wonders together.  I only see her now on a "need to:  basis.  I practice what she taught me.

Don't dwell on the past, don't anticipate what might happen tomorrow.............Be in the moment today. Works but it takes practice.

Drum roll please.........................I joined Healing Well. I met some of the best people and have found comfort, caring and someone to listen to me when I am happy or sad. 

I also am able to give and receive here in this forum as well as the other ones I cruise.

So a huge Thank you to Peter and this is one thing that I will carry forward with me..............it was a good thing even though I had some tough times with Depression,  HW lifted me up.

You, the members , are Healing Well.  Thank you and now I move forward into   2008. :)

A special Thank you to my mentor, my friend and my Big Sis

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 
Co-Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Co-Moderator Crohn's Disease Forum
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Junebug05
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 12/28/2007 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   
The difference for me from last year to now is like night and day.  Last year, I was terrified every minute of the day, scared to be alone, not leaving the house at all, afraid to shower, to eat, to do anything basically.  Over the year, I have found a fabulous therapist who is the best I've ever had, read and re-read Claire Weekes and made some discoveries in my life that once dealt with (or continuing to deal with) have allowed me to have some peace.  I'm back to loving being home alone, haven't had a panic attack in months, and I'm getting out alot!  This past week, I've been gone more than I've been home...amazing. 
 
A big part of my recovery has been this site.  Being able to come here and get the support and comfort of knowing that I'm not alone has been such a huge help to me.  Knowing that others have the same problems and are willing to share their experience is probably the best comfort a person can get and everyone here is wonderful about sharing. 
 
I'm glad to see others have made improvements over the year too.  Kitt and Lyn, you both so deserve to have happiness and peace, you are always here to support and comfort anyone who posts and for that I think all of us are extremely grateful. 
 
Wishing everyone all the very best in the new year! 

wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 12/28/2007 11:07 AM (GMT -7)   

Lyn,

What a great thread!!  I have to say that this has been an extremely difficult year for me - I have been hospitalized twice because the A/P and I was out of control.  I also found out I am Bipolar.  Now my daughter is ill and we aren't sure yet what is causing this problem.  But we will be finding out soon.  Also, my mom passed away two weeks ago - so as I said this has been a very difficult year.  But I am getting through it with the help of everyone here.

But, I have 3 good things (I know, Lyn - you said 1, but I can't help but share the other 2) to share with everyone.

1st - is I have found this great family here at Healing Well.  I just love it here.  I am learning how to deal with all these

2nd - is I have found out just how supportive my family is - this includes my extended family. 

3rd - is I have found a good therapist and pdoc that I trust and have helped me tremendously and continue to do so.

Thanks for letting us share our successes Lyn.

Love ya Big Sis

Wen



Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

  Evey little bit helps, please donate if you can! 

 

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety

Rx: Abilify, Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important

than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln

Post Edited (wen4003) : 12/29/2007 3:52:44 AM (GMT-7)


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/28/2007 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   
((I know this is long, but it is something I have never shared before.))
 
Its amazing to me to hear how much everyone has changed as I have not been here all that long. But, I have met some of the best people.
 
I think my biggest accomplishment was not giving up no matter how bad it got. I am going to be honest and say that at times it has been much worse. I was not able to ask for help through you guys, as I didnt think it would be appropriate to post on here, but luckily I have a good friend who understood what I was dealing with.
 
Also, it got down to the final straw. It was really bad, and I almost did something that I never thought I would, but I stopped to think. I tried to change my thoughts and make myself realize what I was doing. My first thought that wasnt crazed was "This is not me."
 
I fell to the floor crying and dropped them. I was so scared. Scared of myself. Scared of what I was doing. And most of all, scared of what I almost did. I am so proud of myself now. In the moment I had a break where I thought about things. I thought of my friends. I thought of my family. I thought of you guys. I thought of things that make me happy. I thought about how I was going to be a doctor. I thought about my life. And I realized what everything meant to me.
 
I am still struggling everyday now. But I think that changed me. I just know I have to keep going. I know that everything will ok some day. Its just a matter of time and patience. I know I am strong. And I will show my strength as I survive.
 
Thats my biggest accomplishment, not giving up on myself and life itself. And I know it gets really bad at times. It may seem like you have nothing, but everyone has something, everyone has the right to live. You make your life what it is. You have to make the choice to be better. You make the decision to keep going. If you do this, it will get better. You have to have faith in yourself and know that you are strong and that you can survive.
 
I am a survivor. I am sure some of you are as well. And we should be so proud of ourselves.
 
I am sorry this is so long, but for me this was deep. I have never shared this with anyone. This has been my biggest year ever. The worst year as well. But this year changed my life forever. I am not sure where I would be without you guys here for me. I am so grateful that I found you all. 
 
I want to thank everyone for what you have done for me. You guys are part of the reason I am here. Thank you so much. Give yourself a huge pat on the back (softly of course). I hope 2008 is the best year for all of you! Thank you!  
"Sometimes when I say 'Oh Im fine' I want someone to look me in the eyes and say 'Tell the truth'
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"You asked what was wrong and I smiled and said, 'Nothing' then I turned around and whispered...'Everything'
"If I talk and laugh too loud...its because I am trying to forget that I am sad."
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/28/2007 9:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Family,

What I have read here so far brings tears to my eyes and makes me so proud to be able to call you family.  I am happy that we all have made strides this year, and I know next year will deal us new cards but the love and support of this community will see us through.

May hope, love, and warmth
be in your heart's possessing,
and may the New Year
bring you and yours
many blessings.

Happy New Year!!!

Hugs, Kitt            yeah         yeah          yeah               yeah             yeah


 
Co-Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Co-Moderator Crohn's Disease Forum
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/28/2007 10:21 PM (GMT -7)   
This is part of an email I sent to Kitt that I wanted to share with you guys,

"But, I always wanted to let you guys know how much you meant to me. And that is partly why. You guys all saved me. When I was at my end, I had to stop and think and I wanted to make a list of all the good things and the things I cared most about. My list went like: Family, friends, HW family....etc....something like that. But I thought alot about you guys that night. I knew if you guys could overcome things, so could I. I felt the strength of you all inside of me and you guys helped to pull me back. I am very grateful for that. If not, I might not be here right now. So, I hold you guys very dear to my heart. There will always be a special place for each of you."

I just felt like I should share that. I will always remember that night, and I will always remember that you guys saved me that night. And this may just be 'some website' to some people, but its a family to me. I wish I could tell you, show you, and express to you all how much you mean to me. But I think my life and some others on here are living proof that we are strong enough to take anything on. Together we can make it through. I am so very glad I found this place. And that was no accident. Thanks!


"Sometimes when I say 'Oh Im fine' I want someone to look me in the eyes and say 'Tell the truth'
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"You asked what was wrong and I smiled and said, 'Nothing' then I turned around and whispered...'Everything'
"If I talk and laugh too loud...its because I am trying to forget that I am sad."
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."

Post Edited (TeNNiSd0C09) : 12/28/2007 10:24:17 PM (GMT-7)


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 12/29/2007 4:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Tennis,
 
I am so very proud of you and your accomplishment to get through that night.  You deserve big hugs and lots of pats on the back for this.  I am so glad that you can see what a big step that was for you and I hope you realize just how special you are.
 
Reading your story was a so much of a deja vue for me, it's uncanny.  This is not something that I have shared with anyone here as I have been too ashamed to do so.  But reading your story has given me the courage to share this.
 
I went through what you did one July morning which prompted my first hospitalization.    While in my bedroom ready to do this, I had a moment when the "fog" lifted and I asked myself "what am I doing"?!?  I thought "I have a family to think of , my kids need their mother, my husband needs his wife, everyone would be devestated if I go through with this."  I then got rid of them, called my friend and she took me to the hospital.  I was so ashamed of what I was going to that I couldn't call my husband at work to tell him I needed to go to the hospital and why I needed that to happen.  I left a note for him so he would have a small idea of what was going on when he got home, but he still didn't know where I was. 
 
After the long admission process I called him and told him where I was.  He came to visit me and I talked with him at length about what had been going on and how I felt.  I also told him that I no longer wanted access to the med lock-box that we have at home - I gave my key to him and he took on this responsibility without question.  It has amazed me how well he has stepped up and just taken care of everything, especially taking care of me - making sure I eat (a BIG issue for me), making sure the meds are taken care of, making sure the kids get to and from the places they need to be at, doing the errands, etc.  With the agoraphobia, I just don't go anywhere.
 
We both have much to be proud of and we both need to remember it.  That was a horrible moment in our lives, but we put the brakes on, stopped what we were doing and took care of ourselves the best way we knew how.  For me, that was a big, big accomplishment - for me to accept others (strangers) to help me is not an easy thing.  But it worked.  So, Tennis - I know what you went through and understand it.  Our families and friends will always help and so will this wonderful HW family - we both know they will.
 
May the New Year be happy and bright for us and bring us many, many happy things and thoughts.  We can do anything if we put our minds to it and that includes getting better; even if we get dealt a few bad cards to deal with.
 
Love to all for a very Happy New Year,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

  Evey little bit helps, please donate if you can! 

 

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety

Rx: Abilify, Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important

than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17098
   Posted 12/29/2007 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi, Tennis!  I came for a visit on this forum because you wanted to share what was going on in your life.  I knew, when you first started posting in the fibro forum, that you were really struggling.  I'm so proud of you that you overcame that destructive urge.  You definitely made the right choice. 

Life is a series of choices.  What we chose to do affects the outcome of our life.  Unfortunately, many make wrong choices.  You, though, really thought things out and made the very best choice.  Now, from what you have been writing on the fibro forum, you are making many great choices!  You persevered and got help for your physical pain, you are sleeping better, going out with friends more, and, best of all, planning for a great future!  I'm so very proud of you, Tennis!

Try not to let the anxiety and panic take over either.  From your post, you seem to be doing much better in that area.  I suffered from anxiety and panic to the point that I barely could move and was on so much valium that it was affecting my personality.  I sure didn't like what was happening.  I'm a perfectionist and like to be in control of situations in my life but I definitely wasn't in control of the panic attacks and anxiety!  Once I realized the panic and anxiety was really fear, I could recognize it for what it really was.  (That's why I have the scripture in my signature.)  I figured that I really didn't have anything to fear so I wasn't going to let fear rule over my life!  When anxiety or panic would start, the pounding heart, the sweats, the shakiness, etc., I recognized it as fear and dismissed the feelings.  I knew I wasn't dying and so I got busy focusing on something besides how I was feeling and the symptoms would leave.  It took practice but I have total control now.  Just a few months ago I had a huge problem trying to swallow...I actually couldn't swallow!  Of course panic/anxiety reared it's ugly head to make matters worse.  I was able to swallow again after about 15  l-o-n-g seconds, but that didn't stop good ol' anxiety/panic!  That made me angry and I got very busy and, again, I was back in control and the symptoms left.  

People are far stronger that they realize.  We are capable of doing things we never imagined we could.  Look at the people that have lifted automobiles off of people!  You can't imagine that it could be done but it has been done over and over again.  So I know you can get in control of the anxiety and panic.  If I can do it anybody can!  

Bottom line...you are a very strong young lady!  You are highly intelligent, thoughtful, and are willing to search until you find answers.  That tells me that you will go far in this world.  Don't let anything stop you.  Depression, anxiety, panic...equals fear.  Thank goodness there is medication to help, also.  You can get control again.  Have a great day!

Sherrine        


Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/29/2007 11:38 AM (GMT -7)   
As I read these POSTS I am crying.........
I wanted you to write something and you complied but you did more than that each of you BROUGHT your heart and soul to your post and from the bottom of my HEART I want to THANK YOU .........
 
As I have said I have seen so many of you change so much for the better..........and I have seen you make choices go thru Hades come out brush off and carry on with the luv and support of our Lil family here
 
ALL of us here make a difference in one another's lives and for that I Too am so grateful for HW and the people I have come to know and love .............
 
Big sis .........You know I care and I am glad you are here..........
 
S.I.S. ..............YOU are doing great and I ( we) are proud to have you now as a moderator
 
ALL..........you are the best and I do care in different ways for EACH and every one of YOU's
 
WE  as a TEAM/FAMILY and HW will go forth into 2008 and we will keep fighting the fight together ............Never wavering or letting it win for LONG.....
WE WILL KICK BUTT............YOU BETCHA...........tears of joy I have ........thanks for the posts all of you ...........you gave me more than you will ever know tongue
 
 
LUV
LYN
BIG SIS
S.I.S
Cowgirl
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
                          http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
 
 Moderator for Anxiety/Panic
 Moderator for Alzheimer's
 Co Mod for Crohns
 
 DX with Crohns ...Pyoderma Gangrenosum ..Anxiety /Panic.....
 TOO many meds to Post 
 
           Wishing all a Better and Healthier New Year in 2008  
 
        We have Anxiety ..Anxiety Does NOT have US........FIGHT
 
                        Luvs and God Bless..LYN
 
 
                            


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/29/2007 11:53 AM (GMT -7)   

Wow.............absolutely overwhelming with emotion after reading that, I am in tears.  To hear how each of you has struggled and to know that our HW family helped you through makes me humble.

I have received so much love and support and I come here daily as I need to, being here reminds me that I do belong, I am ok and that I can still help others. I took the early retirement after a huge meltdown and I have been lost ever since, trying to find who I am?  HW has helped me continue to care for others as I did as an ER Nurse. 

Your life can change in one minute and to each of you that chose to stay with us, we thank God, for the world is a better place because you live and serve within it.

My wish for you is peace and happiness.

Kitt


 
Co-Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Co-Moderator Crohn's Disease Forum
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/29/2007 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Goh, come on you guys, I cry enough as it is! I cant help sitting here crying now... :-)   But, for once, it is a good cry!
 
Wen, thank you so much. I am so very glad you told your experience. You got help. For me, I just realized that what I was about to do, wasnt me. It wasnt who I wanted to be. It wasnt how I wanted to be remembered. I was on the the floor scared out of my mind. Holding them in my hand. I just thought how simple it was. A move of my hand, and a swallow of my throat. Just like that. But, it isnt simple. Life is not simple. But, life is so much better when it is being lived! I am grateful that I had that moment. I think of it everyday, and thank God that He gave me the strength to do what I did. People wonder if they are going to have that single moment in life, the one that changes everything. That was my moment. I realized, no matter how bad life gets, and no matter how sick and tired of it I get, I can only live it once. I wasnt about the turn that over and let it pass.
 
I have so many dreams. I think, hope, that I can do so much for the world. That night was a test of my strength. That morning was a test of Wen's strength. And we came through. I think that shows a lot about us. Wen got help. That is great. I am very proud that she did that. I didnt get help that night. Yes, God was with me that night. But, I never told anyone, until a few days later. I told my best friend. She knew because she had been there before. But, she is the only person I have told, besides all of you now!! But, it shouldnt be like that. I shouldnt be ashamed to speak up and tell my story. The world tells me I should be ashamed. I should be ashamed because it was stupid. But, in my opinion, I should be proud. I shouldnt be ashamed of something I almost did.
 
I am proud of what I did. I am proud of what Wen did. I have never felt like I did that night. I dont remember what it was like. I dont remember anything around me. I remember looking at my hand. I remember the exact number. I remember ebing more scared than I can possibly imagine. But, I remember throwing them down. I remember crying, I got up, did my normal routine, brushed my teeth, and I went to bed. The next morning, I have never been so happy to wake up!
 
I will remember that forever I think. Because from then on, everything changed, for the better. I am completely different. I have a great outlook on life. I know what life means.
 
I struggle everyday with the a/p still. I still havent gone out. My friend asked me to yesterday, I couldnt. Maybe some time soon I will. I am doing better though. A few anxiety attacks, but havent had a panic attack in a while. So, thats good! I am hoping this next year, 2008, I will be able to change everything. It is going to be a good year...I feel it in my bones!! tongue
 
I hope this next year is special to all of us. We are all strong and we will all make it through! Thanks Wen and Sherrine . And Lyn, we WILL KICK BUTT!!! We are a force stronger than imagined! Together we will step through to this new year!
 
Take Care my Beloved Family!  
"Sometimes when I say 'Oh Im fine' I want someone to look me in the eyes and say 'Tell the truth'
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"You asked what was wrong and I smiled and said, 'Nothing' then I turned around and whispered...'Everything'
"If I talk and laugh too loud...its because I am trying to forget that I am sad."
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/29/2007 12:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Kitt. You mean the world to all of us!

It took me a while to write that last one. Hard to see through tears! So, we were posting at the same time!

Its not just 'some website'........its a 'family'.

....tissue needed....
"Sometimes when I say 'Oh Im fine' I want someone to look me in the eyes and say 'Tell the truth'
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"You asked what was wrong and I smiled and said, 'Nothing' then I turned around and whispered...'Everything'
"If I talk and laugh too loud...its because I am trying to forget that I am sad."
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/29/2007 12:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Big Sis
You know our stories are just about the same when it comes too what we did in our LIVES I was in ER nursing not for long I went to Aids /Hiv........and then found my calling was geriatrics like my Mom and her Mom.........AND then I had to retire and sell my place due to meltdown and illnesses........

Yes these posts are very open and honest and yes the have me in tears as well

It is an honor to be a Moderator even when we get yakkked at lol........but I have to say I believe we do less editing and deleting on this forum ......OUR members are great with the rules and respect as well as the Fantastic Support that they give to all ........

AS I said I am so proud to be part of this Family and all the Members in it ....whether new or oldies like me ..............

THanks to all of you for making this a special place to come to when times are tough...............


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 Moderator for Anxiety/Panic
 Moderator for Alzheimer's
 Co Mod for Crohns
 
 DX with Crohns ...Pyoderma Gangrenosum ..Anxiety /Panic.....
 TOO many meds to Post 
 
           Wishing all a Better and Healthier New Year in 2008  
 
        We have Anxiety ..Anxiety Does NOT have US........FIGHT
 
                        Luvs and God Bless..LYN
 
 
                            

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 12/29/2007 12:36:33 PM (GMT-7)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/29/2007 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
TeNNis

YOU got that right sweetie

WE WILL KICK BUTT TOGETHER................HW butt kickers.............LOL

WE are the CHAMPIONS

YOU have come so far.....I am so proud of you ...........

Yse I too am trying to see thru the tears ....

OMG....what a emotional thread............BUT I love it ...............LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
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 Moderator for Anxiety/Panic
 Moderator for Alzheimer's
 Co Mod for Crohns
 
 DX with Crohns ...Pyoderma Gangrenosum ..Anxiety /Panic.....
 TOO many meds to Post 
 
           Wishing all a Better and Healthier New Year in 2008  
 
        We have Anxiety ..Anxiety Does NOT have US........FIGHT
 
                        Luvs and God Bless..LYN
 
 
                            


mynameis
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 12/31/2007 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Last year my life felt like a mess. I went to university in the later part of the year and this time last year I would have been home about a month after dropping out of education. I would get panicky walking down the street and was terrified of even answering the home phone, thinking everyone was judging me.
 
Now I wouldn't say I'm fully healed by any means, I still get panic attacks and times when I feel worthless and scared. I've achieved so much in a mere year though. The biggest thing for me was in the summer when I started my first proper relationship. For the first time ever I had an attitude of "what have I got to lose, really?" and I opened myself up to him and he didn't think I was ugly or worthless like I've been telling myself all these years.
 
I think back to 2003 when my mum died and the following few years where I was left reeling from the shock and trauma of it all. Things haven't gone as I had originally planned back then, but I'm now in the state of mind where I accept that it was a dreadful thing that happened and that it would have been really difficult for anyone. I'm no less of a person for having issues with anxiety, I've had a tough time and it's to be expected.
 
As I said before, I still have very low confidence compared to most others and I often just seem to expect the worst to happen, even if it won't. The worst thing at the moment is thinking my boyfriend is more interested in other women than in me and that he's going to leave me. I can't help but get anxious when he uses the internet or his phone and I know that's because it's one of those things I can't have control over. It doesn't help that the last person I was with was a compulsive liar and constantly messed around with my head. It's a self-depreciating and suspicious, unfair tendency I have which I absolutely hate and I hope that it's something I can overcome in 2008.
 
Good luck for 2008 everyone, let's make it a year to remember for all the right reasons. :-)
 

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/31/2007 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
SWEETIE.......Great honest post and I am so glad you bared your inner soul.........
Because the last one was the way he was does not mean this fellow is ya know
I have had the sweetest and then the most controlling men in my life TILL I CHOSE to make it my LIFE and about me and my daughter...........

I finally found true love yet I felt I was holding him down with all my illnesses and he is way younger than I ...........so I decided to split
THIS just about killed my daughter she loves him so much .......I am happy to say we ARE working on this together all 3 of us and nothing is left unsaid...........nothing is left to say that will hurt or scar us we are a family ...even if we do not co habitate ........Maybe THIS NEW YEAR will bring him back home EH...........

All the best to all in 2008 and again these are from the heart and I am so happy that all have posted with their love and souls
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
                          http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
 
 Moderator for Anxiety/Panic
 Moderator for Alzheimer's
 Co Mod for Crohns
 
 DX with Crohns ...Pyoderma Gangrenosum ..Anxiety /Panic.....
 TOO many meds to Post 
 
           Wishing all a Better and Healthier New Year in 2008  
 
        We have Anxiety ..Anxiety Does NOT have US........FIGHT
 
                        Luvs and God Bless..LYN
 
 
                            


mynameis
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 12/31/2007 11:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Howlyncat said...
SWEETIE.......Great honest post and I am so glad you bared your inner soul.........
Because the last one was the way he was does not mean this fellow is ya know
I have had the sweetest and then the most controlling men in my life TILL I CHOSE to make it my LIFE and about me and my daughter...........

I finally found true love yet I felt I was holding him down with all my illnesses and he is way younger than I ...........so I decided to split
THIS just about killed my daughter she loves him so much .......I am happy to say we ARE working on this together all 3 of us and nothing is left unsaid...........nothing is left to say that will hurt or scar us we are a family ...even if we do not co habitate ........Maybe THIS NEW YEAR will bring him back home EH...........

All the best to all in 2008 and again these are from the heart and I am so happy that all have posted with their love and souls
This is so true. The man in my life now is nothing whatsoever like the last person and I know this. When I actually take time to sit back and analyse things properly I'm just being my own worst enemy by fabricating awful situations in my head which don't even exist! It's really bizarre, I suppose it's a result of having low self-esteem and since so much bad stuff has happened over the years and it's been out of my control then unfortunately I seem to have sub-consciously come to the way of thinking that the same sort of stuff will continue.

It's so good that you're all working through things together. I think sometimes people with anxiety have a tendency to block everyone else out and we shouldn't because being alone really doesn't make things any easier! I believe that one of the most important steps to having a healthy mind is being as open as possible with your feelings, otherwise things do get left unsaid and misunderstandings can occur. I really do hope that you, your daughter and your man do indeed get everything sorted in the new year and that it's a happy one for you. :-)

 


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 12/31/2007 11:22 AM (GMT -7)   

I think there are so many people here that have so much to be proud of and we should take credit for our accomplishments.  I have reread the posts as I really needed to do this and there are so many soul-searching, honest posts here, it's just remarkable in my opinion.  I have been sitting here crying at these posts as they are touching my heart so much.

I also come here on an almost daily basis as I need to have my HW "fix" - LOL.  But seriously, I love this family and wouldn't want to go anywhere else.

Let us all have the best 2008 possible and keep reaching out to those who can help us - family, friends and I know I've said this before but will say it again....this wonderful family here at Healing Well.

Love and Hugs to all,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

  Evey little bit helps, please donate if you can! 

 

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety

Rx: Abilify, Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important

than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln

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