I'm glad that you have come back to HW to post again and seek help. You already know what a great place this is to be.
I'm in the same position as you are. I went from being active, going anywhere at any time, to being at home and afraid to leave. During the last 5 years I have had a great deal of trouble with my youngest son who is now 15. After much treatment he is doing much better. But the docs have told me that since I had to keep it together during that time in order for my son to get better, I can now "breathe" and now I have broken down from all the stress I had to deal with. This makes sense to me now, but it didn't a few months ago.
I am still not able to leave home for too long before I start freaking out - in fact I don't do any errands or go to friends homes. On Christmas Eve, I went to my son's house for dinner; his house is only a mile away from mine. I was able to stay for about 2.5 hours before I had to leave. That's the longest I have been anywhere for six months. I do go to a therapist almost every week - but this is even difficult for me to do...I know I have to go in order to get better.
In order for you to get better you really need to try going to a therapist. Believe me, I know just how difficult that will be for you. You may have to do "trial runs" and drive (or have your husband drive) a little further each time until you are able to get as far as where your therapist's office is. To get through this will take baby steps and patience with yourself. Patience, Patience, Patience.
The other thing you have to do is NOT beat yourself up for this - right now this is beyond your control and you must be nice to yourself. Each time you are able to leave your home acknowledge that success and give yourself the credit you deserve for doing that. Then each time you are able to go a little bit further acknowledge that too and take that credit by giving yourself a pat on the back. These are baby steps, but that's exactly what it's going to take to get through this. I know how hard it is to leave that comfort zone but it has to be done a little at a time. Please remember that and don't beat yourself up if you slide backwards - it may happen and just tell yourself that next time you go out you will do your best at getting a little further ahead.
I hope this has helped you. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing. You know we will try to help as much as we can.
Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders
Evey little bit helps, please donate if you can!
Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety
Rx: Abilify, Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important
than any other one thing.
I am so glad if I was able to help and my email is posted if you need it. I am here nearly everyday....................I would be glad to talk with you.
You are not alone in your feelings and the anger toward the disorder was overwhelming at times as I wondered too, is this going to be me for the rest of my life?
My daughter said to me one day that she wanted to help me get better but it was hard for her to be around someone who was so upset and sad. I truly felt alone and felt I was driving people away. It was very hard not to blame myself. Why could I not just get a grip or just get over it.
Well I did make it through and you will too................I promise we will hold you up even on your worse days we are right here.
I know exactly what your going through as does Junebug and many others.
Hugs for you.
Kudos to you my friend............I am so proud of you. could you drive here to MN and take me shopping.................I hate driving around in the snow and the ice. What fun we could have.
Keep up the good work and please do quit beating yourself up. You have enough bruises for now. :)
I am so happy and proud of you for being able to go out for awhile. I'm glad Debaser was able to help you and I should Debaser's advice as I'm having an extremely hard time leaving my home. I did go to the fabric store on Sunday for a very short time - I was only gone about an hour. It was short, but it's better than nothing. I didn't drive, as I'm not up to that yet, but at least I went. The last time I had even stepped foot out of the house was Christmas Eve. I know that I really want to get better, but it's so difficult. I won't go to any stores or do any errands - thankfully my husband is being extremely supportive and has taken on these things without question.
So we need to be proud of ourselves for our accomplishments no matter what the size they are because they are all important to helping ourselves get better!! I have a meeting at my son's school on Thursday and I'm going to try like crazy to go because it's an important meeting. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm so glad that you are continuing to post and letting us know how you are doing.