“Anticipatory anxiety” is the anxiety one experiences before starting a challenging activity. In your case the fear of the unknown. You had a bad experience and now your wondering if it will happen again, should you go to LA, should you stay at home? Some people refer to it as stage fright.
The best thing to help would be CBT however your down to 4 days. So can you think of all the worse things that may happen to you if you go to LA, then think "so what" will it matter in 5 years from now...................Once you can identify all your fears then take them and toss them from your mind.
This will take constant diligence on your behalf. It is like choosing anything, make your choice and then live with it. If it does not work out, deal with that if and when it happens.
If you are really not in a good place right now to make this decision and trip, it is ok not to go.
What is most important is that you believe in you and don't beat up on yourself. Things happen for a reason and we do not always know the reason until a later time.
Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders
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Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety
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Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important
than any other one thing.
I was always told that medication is only a "helper" in getting through panic/anxiety. It can help you to feel more balanced and less anxious while you learn how to deal with your p/a by using cbt, relaxation, etc. I've been on meds for 18 + years and it does not take the disorder away for me, it just allows me to be calm enough to get a handle on things and begin to learn how to cope with it. Are you in therapy? Do you use cbt and relaxation? Those are the two things that I think have been most beneficial to me. Now, this is only my experience and everyone reacts differently to meds, so keep that in mind as well. But honestly I didn't get a quick fix from meds. I do believe 100% that you will get better, it takes time and doing it the right way, but you will get there. Have you read any books on p/a? I like Claire Weeks, myself, but there are alot out there on the subject that may help you get a better understanding of what's going on. I don't know what to tell you about going to California, that seems like such a huge thing to handle with where you are right now with the p/a, I do hope that you will be able to make the right decision for yourself, you are in a tough spot right now and I really feel for you. All my best...