Feeling like a heel......

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wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 1/1/2008 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
My husband recently left his job without having another one lined up.  I thought he left because he and his boss finally had a major tiff because that's what he told me.  It's been about 3 weeks since he's been out of work and we are very strapped for money.  I don't say anything to him about it because I don't want him feeling any worse than he already does.  But I am so very worried and my anxiety is very high, this hasn't helped with all the other other things that I have had to deal with in the last few weeks. 
 
Over this past weekend he told me that the other reason he left his job is because of me and the current problems I am dealing with.  You can just imagine how I feel now knowing this.  I feel awful!!
 
As of the end of January (only because there is a 30 day grace period) we will no longer have insurance if we can't pay for it - I had the insurance while I was working and we have been paying for it in full through the COBRA program.  That's been $1,000/mo.  I finally have all the costs of all the meds for myself, my son and my daughter - they will cost approximately $2,500/mo at full cost.  There is no way we can afford that, even when he does get a job.  He keeps telling me not to count out the insurance yet because we may still be able to make January's payment.  How are we going to do that w/no money?  I don't know.
 
I've been without my meds before and I was absolutely miserable - my fibro was out of control, as was the acid reflux and all the other problems I have.  I'm going to call and apply for some programs that the state has, but the one for adults only covers doc appts., not meds and mine alone are almost $2,000/mo at full cost.  The program for the kids covers everything, thankfully.  I'm not sure how the program at Walmart works for the $4.00 per med - is it only generics? Do you have to have insurance or is this also for people w/no insurance?  Only 4 out of 9 of my meds are generics.  I am applying for Social Security, but who knows if I will be able to get it or if I do, when the payments will start.  If I could work, I would - but I can barely get out of the house as it is and I know I couldn't hold down a job.  The sewing business is slow going of course, but I'm trying.
 
We are going from day to day trying to figure out inexpensive meals to fix and meals that will last a couple of days, but my son has a big appetite and I can't deny him food when he's still hungry.  I have gone w/o eating just to make sure everyone else has something to eat, but I can't keep doing this because even though I am about 60 pounds overweight, one of the tests that was done indicated that I was malnourished when I was hospitalized the end of November.  That I don't understand, but I guess I have to believe what the test says.  The nutritionist at the hospital had me drinking Boost so I would at least get the nutrients that I need.  I was drinking it here for awhile, but have stopped asking my husband for it because it's fairly expensive and I just can't justify asking for something we really can't afford.  Eating regularly has been a problem for me since I was in my late teens and especially since I've had kids.  I have always made sure they have had enough to eat before I will eat.
 
I am so worried about all of this and just don't know what to do.  My husband would be so upset with me if he knew I was posting this, but I have to unload this somehow and I feel this is the best place for me to do this.  I know that you all will try to help and give me suggestions that I haven't thought of.  I just cry about this when he isn't here because I just don't know how we are going to get through this if he doesn't get a job very quickly. 
 
What do I do now? 
 
Thank you for reading this long post, I just had to let it out somewhere.
 
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

  Evey little bit helps, please donate if you can! 

 

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety

Rx: Abilify, Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important

than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln


TammyGrl0528
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 1/1/2008 3:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Wen...sorry you are going through such a tough time.

The Walmart program is for everyone, and it covers ONLY generic meds for $4.00 per prescription. I don't know where you are from, but around where I live, in Ohio, other places do that as well, such as Giant Eagle.

Are you able to take generics of the drugs you are prescribed?

There is government assistance everywhere, sometimes it's just a matter of finding it, which isn't always easy...

Let me know if I can help you in any way.

Wishing you the best!
 GERD Forum Moderator
    Please share, only if you can spare! 
 Diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Panic Attacks.
 Clickable Link that may be of interest to some...as I find I often like to check drug interactions...Drug Interactions
 
~Tammy~


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/1/2008 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Wen,

You wrote:

You can just imagine how I feel now knowing this.  I feel awful!!

Now lose the guilt as it is a wasted emotion. OK.  Your husband did what he thought was best and that shows you how much he loves you and felt you needed him. Now that the guilt is out the window.

I am not sure what state your in, if you want to email it to me I will try to find help in your state with some of your problems.

I believe the Walmart $4.00 RX is for anyone.  The drug must be one on their formulary that they only charge $4.00 to cover.  Your other meds may be obtainable through other ways. You can check the various drug mfg websites for their programs to help lower income people to obtain their drugs. Your doctor will have to fill out the forms for you. The meds are then delivered to the Doctors office and he gives them to you.

Try this site too https://www.pparx.org/Intro.php

Here is the website for Boost...........they have an email contact link, see if they would provide the product at cost or coupons would help.  I would guess your nutrion is poor as you eat but not always the right nurtients.   Hey your a me. :)  http://www.boost.com/content/ourproducts_boostdrink.htm

Now, there are the food shelves, and churches and other places that will help you out.  It is ok to be the one in need as one day you help someone and another day you are on the receiving end.

You have given us a project to work on...........how to get Wen her meds.

We are here so you just write down what is bothering you and we will do our best to come up with answers.

OK.  ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Wen)))))))))))))))))))

Kitt


 
Co-Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Co-Moderator Crohn's Disease Forum
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


mynameis
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 1/1/2008 4:02 PM (GMT -7)   
I can't offer any advice which is anywhere near as decent as what people have previously given on here, but don't feel bad for posting how you feel about the situation. We all need to vent from time to time otherwise we would just explode. It sounds like you're in a really difficult and worrying situation at the moment and I think that anyone would find it testing.

wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 1/2/2008 4:55 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all for your willingness to help and for the great support.  You all mean so much to me and that's why I know I can come here to tell you what's going on and I won't be judged in any way.  I don't know how else to repay you for that except for saying thank you.

My husband was able to find work for today, but only for today.  His old boss called him to see if he would be willing to help out for the day.  It's weird that the boss that he was fighting with (not physically), asked him to help out by working there for the day.  But I'm not going to question it because every little bit of money he earns will help at this point.  My husband is a hard working man and always has been.  It's killing him inside that he isn't working and providing for his family.

I know how much he loves me, really I do.  But why on earth would he want to do this to us - no work means no money and he knows that.  I love him dearly and would never think badly of him, but I just wish he had thought this through and talked with me about this before he did it.  I would have tried to convince him that all my doc appts. can be scheduled for late afternoon after he gets out of work, so he wouldn't have had to miss any time at work.

Tammy, yes I'm able to take generics for the ones that have generics.  But unfortunately only a few that I take have generics.  I live in New Hampshire and I will have to check out other places to see if anyone else has programs like Walmart - we do have a Walmart near us, so getting there won't be a problem for my husband.  I just wasn't sure if Walmart's program was only for those who have insurance so they could bill the reset of the amount to the insurance companies.  But I'm glad to hear that it's for everyone.  Thanks for that info Tammy.

Kitt, I will check out those two links you gave me.  It's gotten so that every time I eat or drink anything, but especially when I eat, my stomach hurts enough to make me double over in pain and then the IBS kicks into high gear.  I don't eat, I become malnourished or I do eat and I end up in pain.  I just can't win!  I will also try very hard to let go of this guilt, but it's not easy.  Knowing that I was part of the reason he left his job is a hard thing for me to accept.  We will have to go to the food pantries because we aren't going to have a choice - but he's a proud man and gets very upset with me when I mention any program that may be able to help us.  I can make all kinds of phone calls to these programs and do as many applications on line as I can, but for some things one of us will have to go to these places.  But because of the agoraphobia, it's extremely hard for me to do that.  I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Mynameis, thank you for your kind words and yes we all need to vent at times and I just needed to do that.  This really is a very difficult situation and since I can't work it makes me feel even worse because I can't help.  All I can do is apply for programs and hope we can get some assistance.

Any thoughts that anyone has is more than welcomed and thank you all again for your help and support.
 
Love and hugs,
Wem

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

  Evey little bit helps, please donate if you can! 

 

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety

Rx: Abilify, Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important

than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/2/2008 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Wen,

I am here to tell you that you are OK.  Let go of that guilt because sweetie, he made his decision without talking to you and for him to say he quit because of your health was a bit premature of his behalf.

I know you love him, and your feeling grateful and lucky to have him right now, but hey he is lucky to have you too.  I would bet over the years you have done some awesome things on behalf of him.  So you are lucky to have each other.

Your right, it was not the best choice to make to just quit his job but he may have reasons he has not really shared with you and doing it for your sake when you need the income and insurance just added to your anxiety.....................so now you are spinning your wheels to try to stay financially afloat.

Did I pretty much cover how your feeling?

Keep posting your feelings here and let them out, don't bottle them up.  We are not going to think badly of your hubby, we understand he is a human too and he loves you.

I will do so research today and see what else I can come up with for you.

Hugs

Kitt


 
Co-Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Co-Moderator Crohn's Disease Forum
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/2/2008 2:03 PM (GMT -7)   
S.I.S.

I wish you had of said SOMETHING........
I am so sorry here all this is going on and you are not saying a bleeding word......

Lil sis has put it RIGHT.....YES loose the guilt for one
YES you have done plenty plus for HIM and those beautiful kids
YES you mean the world to us all here
PLZ let me know if there is anything ....anything at all I can do or we can do

Kitt is spot on re read that over and over..........
LUV
S.I.S.
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
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 Moderator for Anxiety/Panic
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 DX with Crohns ...Pyoderma Gangrenosum ..Anxiety /Panic.....
 TOO many meds to Post 
 
           Wishing all a Better and Healthier New Year in 2008  
 
        We have Anxiety ..Anxiety Does NOT have US........FIGHT
 
                        Luvs and God Bless..LYN
 
 
                            


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 1/3/2008 6:35 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all for your support and help.  Yes, Kitt you did cover how I'm feeling - LOL.  You are right on with it.  This has been so hard for me to swallow and I just feel awful, but I am trying very hard to let go of that guilt so that I can find us some assistance while we are going through this difficult time.  Kitt thank you so much for all of those links you sent me, I will be checking them all out today. 

Yesterday, I completed the Social Security paperwork and my husband will be taking it to their office today.  This way we know for sure they have received it.  I also talked with my case worker from the SS office yesterday and it looks as though the application may be approved and if it is, my kids may be entitled to a small amount each month as well.  This surprised me to no end because I didn't know they would receive anything.

Lyn, the reason I hadn't said anything before is because I was trying to handle this on my own, but I just can't do that any more.  It's just making my a/p and depression much worse; that's why I finally wrote here because I knew that I would receive the support and I help that I needed.  I know there has been a lot I have done for him and the kids - he has also done a lot for me.  I've had lots of medical issues the entire time we have been together (12 years) and he has stuck by me the whole time with no complaints ever.  But now he feels things are more serious and needs to be here.  He also was having some big problems at work, so it wasn't all me as to why he left that job.  It just makes me feel awful to know that I was even part of the decision he made.

Except for helping provide information for me on programs that may help us and the support I have received from everyone, I don't know what else anyone can do to help.  Again, thank you all for your help and support.

Love and (((((Hugs))))),
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

  Evey little bit helps, please donate if you can! 

 

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety

Rx: Abilify, Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important

than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/3/2008 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so happy Lil sis was able to give you some links or places to find some help sis

WE are your family ya know
and we are here for you ..............

Luvs
S.i.s.
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
                          http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
 
 Moderator for Anxiety/Panic
 Moderator for Alzheimer's
 Co Mod for Crohns
 
 DX with Crohns ...Pyoderma Gangrenosum ..Anxiety /Panic.....
 TOO many meds to Post 
 
           Wishing all a Better and Healthier New Year in 2008  
 
        We have Anxiety ..Anxiety Does NOT have US........FIGHT
 
                        Luvs and God Bless..LYN
 
 
                            

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