Took a Big Step...but need some big advice

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LilLostGrl
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 1/1/2008 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi All
 
So I changed to taking my .5mg of Klonopin half each night (right now!) and have each morning. I hoped today would be a good day, but I just felt "off" from the start. Early this afternoon I broke down crying with my mother worrying about going to California on Friday (for those of you "behind" on my story, I am moving there for 4 months). We talked and I sort of had a breakthrough. While I have been making all these changes from workbooks to meds to natural remedies to therapy...I STILL have been avoiding things that bring me panic attacks because I was unsure that my meds were REALLY helping me, since I felt anxiety even when I was at home in my "safe zone". My breakthrough was that NO I AM NOT IN MY SAFE ZONE. Physically I am, but mentally all I am thinking/worrying/talking about it moving to California. So I said to my mother "Lets do something that makes me anxious". First of all I drove...we went to a restaurant for a late lunch...I HAVE NOT BEEN TO A RESTAURANT IN THREE MONTHS!...and I made it thru without panicking...then I drove ON THE HIGHWAY which I haven't done in three months either. I then went BY MYSELF into Wal-Mart and stood in the LONGEST LINE I could find and didn't have a panic attack. Then I drove us home. I made myself see that YES my Klonopin/Celexa are having an effect on me. Yes I felt uncomfortable in the situation I was in, but NO PANIC ATTACKS. That is a step I think! And it also explains why the anxiety doesn't leave me right when I get home...because mentally I am still somewhere else! Does any of this make sense? I feel like since I had SUCH A BAD EXPERIENCE the week before leading up to and including my flight home, its only natural for me to be feeling stress and anxiety about going back there again. The "What If" scenerio's of what if i feel THAT BAD again and how horrible that experience was for me. But that was THEN and this is NOW, right? If my Meds WEREN'T working I would have most certainly had a panic attack at some point today. Does anyone ever experience one or two symptoms of a panic attack and then fear they will have one? But then you don't? Anyway, I seem to post here each morning and evening LOL so you may all be sick of my gabbing already, but please respond if you are willing! It helps to have a support group. Thanks in advance.
 
Danielle

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/1/2008 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Danielle
 
HI there and I think you are right on, you went out and checked it out and you did not have a panic attack and you did not have to head for home.  That is great.
 
Now hang on to that because you are going to leave your own town behind and go back to where you were and the meds are helping and you will be ok. 
 
Remember when you get to LA, that it is time limited, you will be head back east in 6 months, and you can do this.  Leave the anticipatory anxiety zone.  If you start thinking about the what ifs, Stop.  Start doing something else, as you can not worry about tomorrow as when it gets here it is today.  No one lives in the tomorrow.
 
So stay in the moment and just take those steps one at a time.  You will be ok.
 
You don't have to be a hero, just a person.  Keep on posting.  We are here to support you.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt

 
Co-Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Co-Moderator Crohn's Disease Forum
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
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LilLostGrl
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 1/1/2008 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you so much Kitt for your response. I was feeling SO good a little while ago. For a few hours I had NO anticipatory anxiety and was just going with my day and the excitement of packing for LA. In the past half hour or so though, I have felt more sad/lethargic/unproductive and a bit of anxiety. However, I DID just take my Klonopin about 30min before feeling that way. Does anyone have an opinion as to whether its a coincidence or could it have something to do with the Klonopin? This is only the second time I have taken Klonopin at its "new time" so maybe I should keep track of when I feel this way, and how recently the Klon was taken? Any suggestions? Thanks all!

Danielle


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/1/2008 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Danielle,

I think it was a coincidence, the med is not going to keep the anxiety away completely but help you cope with it.  You must push the anticipatory thoughts out and not let them take over............just go write down the word STOP a few times and then take a deep breath and carry on with what your doing.

I know I get very frustrated when it happens to me and sometimes it does get the best of me................I give myself a lot more time now to get ready to go anywhere that is a big deal.  Rushing at the last minute to get the job done just kicks up the anxiety.

Yes I am always on time for an appointment and I am always early at the airport, but I can people watch and stay in the moment once I get to where I need to be.

Keep on working on it, this is all new to you yet.  One small step at a time.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 
Co-Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
Co-Moderator Crohn's Disease Forum
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/2/2008 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt/ Lil Sis has given you some fantastic advice and input as well as her great support

I will just say I believe you CAN do this as well
and that Baby steps still get you there .......

Good Luck and Take care
LYN
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
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 Moderator for Anxiety/Panic
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 DX with Crohns ...Pyoderma Gangrenosum ..Anxiety /Panic.....
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           Wishing all a Better and Healthier New Year in 2008  
 
        We have Anxiety ..Anxiety Does NOT have US........FIGHT
 
                        Luvs and God Bless..LYN
 
 
                            


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/3/2008 2:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey there, It is Thursday, how you doing?

Kitt

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