3 YEARS OF THIS AND i AM SICK OF IT

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KyT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 1/9/2008 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   
hello everyone. I am not new but I havent been on here for so long I forgot I had already joined and tried to sign up again.
I wont get into too much because I have every symptom and problem that I know of in 3 years since the birth of my son.
 
1 year after he was born I spent many days in ER because I had dizziness, nothing came out of it and it just progressed to feeling so weak like I am 80 years old, then I started getting weird sensations and would cry and freak out. Burning rushes through my body like I was going to pass out or puke, dizziness, extremely weak, short of breath, etc etc.........
 
It has been 3 years and during that time I had another baby through all this and was anemic during my pregnancy and have a thyroid condition but they say it is under control and I am just extremely anxious and conscious of all bodily sensations.
 
My whole life has turned upside down, having a child and marriage was something I dreamed of but now I am so ill I have not been able to enjoy any of it. I dont go out often, I dont get up and shower in the morning until I "feel okay", I am scared to exercise as I might pass out? So I think. I am not very energetic and my whole life now is me waking up and wondering what symptom may happen next.
I went to the doctor today for 4 days of not being able to breath in very well and he said my chest is all clear so he gave me Ventolin inhaler and said when I get stressed or have a panic attack to take it, Has anybody heard of this I always thought it was for asthma which I dont have.
Anyway I have so much I can ramble on about but I just want to be a good wife and mother and stop my worrying. I dont do anything until I feel okay and i look at people who are so energetic and dont think about their health and I am so jealous I just want to cry and scream because I never thought once I had a baby I would turn into this person I dont recognize and wife my husband doesnt know anymore.
Thanks for listening. Please reply if you want.

LJ
New Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/9/2008 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi KyT
 
I'm quite new to this forum, but just thought I'd offer some support.  My anxiety is not really similar to yours, but I can definitely understand some of what you seem to be going through.  At times I have felt that I am so sick of this god darn anxiety and feel like my life will never quite be the same.  Like you, I have experienced almost 3 years of difficult times and sometimes I just get so tired of the whole thing.
 
I am sorry that you feel you have missed out in some ways of enjoying the experience of having your children.  You stated that you 'just want to be a good wife and mother'.  Just because you have the anxiety problems does NOT mean that you are not a good mother.  SPending time with your children and loving them to me are more important than being a 'supermom' always organised and in control etc.
 
I take ventolin and can only think that your doc gave it to you as it really does relax the airways which may help to relieve some of your breathing symptoms when experiencing a panic attack.
 
I've probably not been of much help but just wanted to let you know that I understand and this really is a great site to come and get advice, chat or just have a good old rant!
 
Best Wishes
L x

KyT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 1/9/2008 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much for your support. I Was really confused by the ventolin thing and thought is there something he isnt telling me, I thought once I seen a doc and got the okay I would be feeling better as usual but my struggling to breath is still here and I feel as if something is so wrong because I Have been walking around with this for days and it is so uncomfterble. Are you on Ventolin for panic as well or is that something different.
I have to go for a bit but I thought I would add a quick reply.
MOMMY2KY


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/11/2008 3:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and Welcome to HW
I really am glad you decided to post
Above poster is very right the most important thing you can do for your child is to " spend time with them " IMHO and you sound like you do that
We cannot help what our bodies are doing BUT we can find tools to help us foight and copw with the anxiety and live each day to the fullest
There are Relaxation techniques, Breathing techniques and Cognitve behavioural Therapy which you can check on back pages or some on front to find out what these are
I honestly dont know why the doc would give you the Ventolin inhaler after your chest was clear other than for you to use as a tool tricking your mind? It is truly a mystery to me......in further appointment s I would ask him WHY he gave that too you ......
I cannot use Ventolin i do find for me it makes my heart race and I have COPD so I am on other meds ( inhalers)
I have lived with this Dang disorder for more than 30 plus yrs and it is so frustrating ..until you find a way to fight and have the right combo of meds ( or not) and tools to fight daily ........
I wish you all the best and hoe that you will continue to post
Why not sit and try to breathe small breaths in and out making self more comfy in doing it IF you are able to .
Please let us know how you make out
Contribute Today ..Click On         
Moderator,Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers,Co Mod for Crohns                     
 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/11/2008 3:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Hj, I think Lyn said it all, be the great mum that you are.  I'm so very sorry that you have had all these horrible complications.  Panic and anxiety are not the planned part of motherhood, certainly not to the degree you are suffering. 
 
I have breathing problems as well, but I think the ventolin idea is a bit of a cop out for your doc.  I have learnt self hypnosis which I use when I feel I'm suffocating, but sometimes I have to resort to meds like valium, ativan or  xanax if it's too much.  Maybe ask your doc about some of these options.  I really hope things get a bit better for you, the people on this site are fabulous and will help you with anything, please keep posting and asking questions..everyone will support you through this, it's rough, I know..xxxnm
I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/15/2008 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello there just checking in to see how you are making out
If you have read the posts and are still with us
YOU will be supported here so
I hope we hear something from you soon on your situation

LYN
Contribute Today ..Click On         
Moderator,Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers,Co Mod for Crohns                     
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/17/2008 3:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi, this is Kitt.  Just dropping by to see how you are and introduce myself.  Looks like you have received some very good info from other members.

I hope you keep on talking with us.  You are safe here and we will do our bet to be supportive and helpful.

Gentle Hugs to you.


 
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


KyT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 1/25/2008 7:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone. I am doing okay. This week has been up and down and I keep worrying I have something that is health related.
I am finding mysel short of breath quite a bit and last night I got crackling sort of wheezing in my chest. I could still go about my evening but it drove me nutts and I felt like panicking. I seem to think I have asthma but nobody in my family has and  have never been diagnosed with it. I am so worried about everything and sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder who I have become and how I look tired and sick. I always ask people and family if I look sick and if they think something is wrong........
The other day I was so shakey and weak and felt so paniky I could barely put my makeup on. I dont have the energy I used to and my mind does not relax. I worry constantly.
The thing is through all of this I developed a fear of going out anf last year it was at the point that I could not even go to the corner store......I am better with that now.
My husband is in a band and all my friends went to see him play the other night so I finaly went out and I should be happy I did it but the whole time I was there I could not fully relax and enjoy myself like the rest of them and I felt like I just wanted to scream at my body to stop it. MY legs were so trembly I could not stand for long I thought I would fall. Next weekend is another night out and I am pushing myself to go but I just want to go and enjoy myself. I am only 29 and want to live a good life. I have already lost 3 years and I am so scared this will never get better. I really dont want to be on meds.....I have tried clonazepam and an antidepressent but I hated them. Made me sick and just more paranoid.
I am so sorry for rambling and would love to hear what you all think and all the support would be so helpful and I will try to return it someday :)
MOMMY2KY


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 1/26/2008 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hay kyt i was just dropping in to see if you feel better today.Im not feeling the best today, had an arguement with my husband.That's always fun!!!!! I just wanted to say hi and to give you a big hug!!!!! I hope your'e feeling better! PANI-KE

KyT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 1/26/2008 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Panike. Doing okay but not great, I know the feeling on fighting with hubby because we do all the time and part of it being my Crappy darn anxiety or health it is just stress on everything in my life. If you read my last post from earlier it has been a rough week, i am on the verge of calling and going to my doctor and making her do more tests because either there is something wrong because I feel 80 years old or I am just going through more anxiety without even knowing it if that makes sense. Sometimes I dont think I am having a panic attack or anxious but maybe I am??
Anyway I hope you feel better!!!
HUGS!
MOMMY2KY


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 1/27/2008 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah kyt i know what you mean my panic attacks play a huge role in the fights that my husband and i have!Im so darn uptight i guess sometimes it makes him uptight.Also i dont know if youve read any of my threads but my panic attacks keep me from travling and we use to travel alot before so i think that makes him upset.I dont know what he wants me to do,i didnt ask for this.I want to travel again just as much as he does.I miss taking trips and staying at hotels and being romantic.But the overwhelming fear that i feel when im on the highway makes me not even want to try to go, being that i want be able to enjoy myself.Im sorry im rambling on about my problems, i am so sorry youre having a rough week! In my opinion it sounds like to me you are having panic and anxiety,but you know some illness present themselves in the same ways.I know what im dealing with is anxiety and it makes me feel old,tired,and run down.Though i have better days than others.So what you are saying does make sense! I would still get furthur testing if that would ease your mind. I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER AS WELL!!!!!! HANG IN THERE!!!!! HUGE HUGS!!!!!

crying
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 1/27/2008 9:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello KyT

I just read your posts and your symptoms sound alot like mine. The rushes in your body, the weakness all of it.
I to have problems with breathing but mine is caused by allergies. You might want to check into getting tested for allergies.
I have always had a bit of painc/anxiety but it really cranked up when I had my son 5 years ago.
Also I had a thyroid problem while i was prego but it all cleared up after i gave birth.
Your post really made me go...wow that sounds like me! My sister also has anxiety to the point she no longer leaves the house.

I wanted to give you a trick I use to use to help me breath. I take a wash cloth and wet it with cold water, ring it out and lay it over my faceand breath the cool moist air in. I dont know why but it alway use to help me breath better.

How are you doing now? have you found anything to help you calm down?
I hope you are doing better and things are going well.
best wishes!
Puttin' the Fun in Dis-fun-ction!


KyT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 1/27/2008 9:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your help. I am just nutts my mom got mad at me today because I kept going on about how Maybe I have asthma and I am paranoid it is the last thing I want and she just is sick of hearing all of this and so is my husband. I am such a mess and all I do is cry to myself. I have NOT exercised or did anything strenuous in 2 years and I feel so out of shape and just not like I used to be......thank goodness i dont have a weight problem or I would be having worse issues since I am not very mobile. Tonight I decided I am going to start walking and I went with my kids and neighbour for a walk, She is older and bigger then me and she was just going. I could barely keep up and while walking I was breathing through my mouth and felt short of breath and out of breath. Once I got home I worried and thought is this normal to feel so breathless. So again I started ont he asthma thing and once my shortness of breath past I was doing good for a while but have a bit of crackling in my chest as I inhale again and it is freaking the heck out of me. I have had my chest listened to recently 2 times and doc said it sounds perfectly clear. I think I am at the point that I need reasurance again and some tests because I am feeling like I have these things and I dont know whether they are normal bodily sensations and feelings or if I truly have something. If it is all anxiety and the crackling in my chest is nothing bad then I will deal with it. I dont know anymore.
I have a thyroid problem also it started after the birth of my son. I wish it would go away also but so far no luck.
MOMMY2KY


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 1/28/2008 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hay kyt its me pani-ke i know how it feels when you are talking to peolple who dont understand how you feel!!! its so fustrating. Thats why you have us and we have you.Could you tell me what are the signs of a thyroid problem as i wondered about that a while back when i heard that thyroid could be a contributor to p/a.What kind of test do they do to check and see if you have a htyroid problem? I hope things get better for you soon. You will be in my prayers!!!

KyT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 1/28/2008 4:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Have you not had a thyroid test done?? Well they do a bunch of testing main one being a TSH blood test along with T3 and T4 tests but the TSH tells you you actual; thyroid levels. I have heard it can also cause many things and have been on the thyroid forums but I stopped going to them because they scared me and People I know have thyroid problems but live normal lives and it doesnt seem to bug them. My doctor didnt seem to think my symptoms were thyroid related but It is so hard to say and I am yet to figure it out.
Signs of thyroid problem is being tired and just not yourself, lack of energy etc etc Look the symptoms up on the net......I warn you though Like I said if you go to the actual forum people are really sick and struggling with the disease so to clear my mind for a while I stopped reading and going to try and just listen to my doctors for a while and trust them. It is soooo hard though because I do believe what these people say ont he forum but I needed a break to see if most of mine is just anxiety and worry.
Today I am having breathing problems like i just breath through my mouth all the time. I have been so crappy for so long that I dont know what is normal and had to ask my friend if the way I was breathing after going for a walk was normal..........so crazy I am ready to lose my mind over this and I cant see my doctor until wed.
MOMMY2KY


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 1/28/2008 4:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there kyt!!! Thanks for the info on the throid problem.I think i am going to ask my dr about it the next time i go.I hate to hear that you are still struggling. That could be your problem,breathing through your mouthe all the time causes your chest to hurt. Try breahting in through your nose and releasing through your mouth,do it several times i have found that this relaxes me!! In the mean time take care,wensday will be here before you know it and hopefully your dr can shed some light on your problems.Oh,and i will take your advice on not going to the thyroid forum as im easily spooked.Hang in there!!! FEEL FREE TO TALK AT ANYTIME!!!!(((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))) PANI-KE

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/29/2008 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Please do let us know how you make out with the doc .........

We are so hoping that you will be okay and that it is the A/P

Great post from Panike as well about the breathing.........

Many that suffer from A/P have the exact SX and problems you are describing....

I too am or get at odds with my hubby due to my a/p but I have learnt that I can keep my mouth shut .LOL( most times ) and he is alot more understanding now than he was ever before which really helps ..had him sign up on here ......lol .great way to teach them ............Take care and again let us know plz.......Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns
    www.healingwell.com Donate today to keep HW helping others
 
                     
 


KyT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 1/29/2008 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
I am a wreck today I just feel like I am so short of breath and not able to do much. I went to have a shower and felt worse Like I was suffocating so I got out and freaked and told my hubby I am taking myself to the hospital because nobody seems to be taking me seriously and I Am so sick of this. I have tried relaxing and just doing things to get my mind off of it. I am frustrated. I had this a few weeks ago and doctor listened to my chest and said it was fine but maybe I have asthma that doesnt go away. I am so scared.
Thank you all for your support it means the world to me. I have had breathing problems with anxiety but nothing like this.
MOMMY2KY


KyT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 115
   Posted 1/31/2008 8:55 PM (GMT -7)   
So going on day number 4 I think of not being able to breath I even used an inhaler and it sucks didnt work well. I am so frustrated I am not sleeping and I cry when my husband has to work so he has been missing work. I flipped out the other day because I am scared. Went to the doctor today and he said he doesnt hear anything in my chest he doesnt think it is asthma or anything like that but did a chest xray and a ton of blood work so that is the good thing. BAd thing is I have to wait for results I am walking around like I need oxygen and trying to take care of 2 kids 3 and under and just sad my poor 3 year old has to see me cry and be like this. MY mom was so mean yesterday it hurt my feelings because she is the one person I trust but she is sick of hearing any of this and thinks I just am a loss cause and will jst keep inventing these new physical problems. I think most of my family think that. I dont get this and I hate that they think like that I am so frustrated and I am praying to God that this is nothing serious......I HOPE!!
Sorry I really needed to vent I have had no sleep and reason being I really dont feel this is anxiety and it is worrying me like crazy........Maybe I am wrong. PLus I cant breath all the time.
Well gonna go relax. Please let me know how youa re all doing...
MOMMY2KY


sunnydays
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/1/2008 5:34 AM (GMT -7)   
KyT,

I was browsing this forum looking for help when I saw your post. You're symptoms are so much like mine that I had to join immediately and add my post.

What you're feeling is anxiety, all the symptoms point to it. I get exactly the same thing. Gasping for breath, no energy, simple tasks leave me exhausted, feeling sick, panicky and shaky ... I could go on.

I was diagnosed with panic attacks almost sick years ago but they have been controlled by medication pretty much. Until I got the flu and bronchitis a few weeks ago. That took all my energy and left me vulnerable to panic. My attacks have come back with a vengeance and not a day goes by without these awful symptoms. I can't even leave the house as I fear panicking. I used to go out a lot but now I just want to shut myself away.
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