Wow. I am very sorry to hear that. But, I said 'wow' because you sound the exact same as my mom. Only my parents ignore each other. They really dislike each other. My mom wants to leave but she has a dilema because she didnt go to college and couldnt get a good enough job to support herself and 3 kids. My mom complains because my dad spends his time in front of the computer. So, I guess she is probably feeling the same way as you on the inside. She has been depressed for a long time. She has always been unhappy. Its been at least 10 years because it started when my little sister was born. I was young then so I cant remember my mom ever being any different than she is now. And I really hate that. She is always in a bad mood because she is unhappy. Honestly, I do wish she would move out, because then my parents wouldnt fight and maybe she oculd be happy again.
I am very sorry that you are unhappy. You are not alone in that. I hope you can figure it out because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated good and not be ignored like that. You deserve better. I really hope things work out for you. Best wishes
I am so sorry you are in this situation. I am woering if you have talked with a therapist about your feelings. Let's leave your hubby out of this for a minute. Perhaps we need to help you work on your own self esteem.
Your self-esteem is the way you look at yourself. If you have good self-esteem it means that you like yourself and you believe that you are as 'OK' as everyone else. If you have poor self-esteem it means that you believe that you are not OK, or that you are inferior to others.
People who have poor self-esteem tend to focus on and magnify their perceived shortcomings, and ignore their strengths and achievements. It's like looking into the mirror and seeing a warped picture - a bit like the ones at fun parks that make you look distorted - completely blowing reality out of proportion.
Your self-esteem can affect how you feel, how you relate to other people, how you deal with challenges and how relaxed and safe you feel in your daily life. In order to be happy you need to like yourself. If you believe that you are not OK, or if you are constantly putting yourself down, you are more likely to feel depressed, anxious or miserable than someone who has a positive view of themselves.
I am getting vibes that this is where you are at right now. You know there is something wrong but you are assuming it is all you, your not attractive and you are making a plan to even leave.
Are you wanting to work on feeling better about your self because I believe that we can help you? You just have to believe in you.
Keep on posting sweetie and let us help. Gentle Hugs.
You are down so let's start helping your back up. Remember it will take babysteps and you must do the work. We are here to guide you and we are not professionals............ we are just peers of yours here on this wonderful site.In order to be happy you need to like yourself. If you believe that you are not OK, or if you are constantly putting yourself down, you are more likely to feel depressed, anxious or miserable than someone who has a positive view of themselves.
Re your relationship with your husband, low self-esteem can influence the way you behave with him as well as with others. For instance, you might find yourself being unassertive (not saying what you think, feel or want), and doing things you don't want to do. Or you might find yourself trying too hard to please him as well as others - agreeing with him and offering to do things for him in order to 'earn' his attention and respect and his love.
Low self-esteem might also cause you to seek reassurance from your husband and your friends, because deep down, you may not be sure that they like/love you. You might allow others to 'walk all over you' because you believe you have no rights, and that your needs don't matter. Being treated badly by other people can reinforce the belief that you are not good enough, and can lower your self-esteem even more.Does this sound like where your at right now? Think about this carefully and then commit yourself to climb up to where you should be, feeling good about you. (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Tiamarie, your not selfish and I am glad you are a strong person and have a good head on your shoulders to know you are deserving of the good things in life. Big Hugs to you.
Trying new things and moving out of your 'comfort zone' at times is important for growing and developing as a person. Low self-esteem might hold you back from new experiences because you become overly concerned with the possibility of failure or looking stupid. Let go of feeling stupid or failing. We all look stupid and failing but really in a few hours no one is even going to remember except you, so throw away those feelings and grow. When your self-esteem is low, it is difficult to feel relaxed and comfortable in day to day situations.
For instance, if you believe that you are not OK you might feel awkward and self-conscious in many situations. You might worry too much about what others think of you, and might be constantly on the lookout for signs that people don't like you. If someone doesn't acknowledge you, you might immediately assume that they don't like you. This is one I do even online. If some ignores all my posts and I am having a low day, I might think, why don't they like me.......Geez, why do I care? I like me. So there you go my friend more for you to work with.
Set those small goals and don't let your feelings about yourself be tied to how others might or might not feel about you............I like you kiddo. You can do this. Gentle HugsKitt
All great advise you have been given. The only other thought that I can suggest is for you to make some plans to do/get involved with him, ex: go out for dinner, go to the movies or watch a movie together, make plans to go for a walk, even if it is to a mall to just walk around and browse, anything that you can plan and ask him to make plans to do it with you. Then see what he says. Maybe he just needs a push to get started. But instead of waiting on him, make plans for both of you and see what his reaction is.
Just a thought.