WHY CANT I JUST GO!!!!!!!!

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Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 1/26/2008 4:30 PM (GMT -7)   
mad  HI everyone! I hope all is well!!!As everyone knows I'm still fairly new to this group.As i siad before if you read my first thread i have been having panic attacks for about 10 years now!! I have some horrible days and some good days. Today was an ok day as it's dreary and ugly outside.This is one of those days that i'm having the racing thoughts that are uncontrollable.I feel like i cant stop thinking!!! When all i really want to do is relax.I'm so bored with my life as my world has gotten smaller since the panic attacks!!! I want to be able to travel so bad, the last time i took a lenghthy road trip was in around 2003!! At first the anxiety attacks were not bad when i took road trips as long as it was not too long of a distance.But now i cant even stay on the inerstate for 30 minutes without feeling scared and overwhelmed! I feel as if i venture too far away from home something devistating is going to happen!! Also my husband started having seizures a few years back,but they are well controlled with his meds.But when they first started he went through a denial phase so throughout the years in the beginning he would miss doses of his meds and have seizures, most of the time at night as he slept.So we would have to go to the ER in the middle of the night so he could get mega doses of his seizure medicine through IV,and then he would be ok until he missed doses again.It's been 2 years now since he's had one, he finally got the message!!! But my point in telling you all this is ,that adds to my fear of travling, i fear that maybe we would be miles away from home and he will have a seizure and i will totally freak out and start having  severe panic attacks in some unknown place as i try to drive him to the hospital.Then my worst fear would become a reality i would have to drive us back home on the inerstate as i'm all shook up!!!! So when i think about travling not only do i think about how anxious i will be i fear him having a seizure behind the wheel of the car as well! I have not seen my famiy out of town in along time being that the only time i see them is when they come to me which i'm sure gets old! They know i have panic attacks but they dont quite understand.They say just take somehting to sedate yourself and come on! And those of us that have them know its not quite that easy ,even when i take a xanax or something i still cant do it.ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE NORMAL!!!! I KNOW THIS IS A LONG THREAD BUT I GUESS I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO REACH OUT TO ME AS IM AT A LOW POINT RIGHT NOW!!! WHY CANT I JUST GET ON THE HIGHWAY AND GO!!!! THERE ARE SO MANY PLACES I WANT TO GO AND SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO SEE!!!! I cant even get on the inerstate here in the city i take the long way everywhere i go as i avoid all tunnels,bridges ect. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS GUYS I'M LOSING HOPE HERE!!!!!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/26/2008 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Good Evening,
Looks like you have a couple of things that are triggering your anxiety.

As for traveling, I do not know if you are on any meds for anxiety or if you have a therapist.  There is the CBT training to help you learn to deal with anxiety.  You may want to look into that as you will learn much about yourself and ways to get back out on the highway.

If it has been 2 years and your husband has not had a seizure and is taking his meds faithfully he seems pretty stable. When you are traveling it would be best to make sure your path takes you close by towns or cities with hospitals.  If he has a problem, do not try to drive frantically to a hospital with a sick person in the passenger seat.  Instead stay where you are and call 911.  Let trained personnel respond to you. All police officers know CPR and many police cars both state and county now carry defibrillators.

I usually pay attention to the mile markers on the freeway and know which direction I am traveling.  I know the country roads and highways may seem like less stressful but there may be much more traffic on the freeway and the chance of help responding is quicker.

I hope this helps you in some way.  Perhaps just plan some short trips for an overnight so that you will feel more comfortable feeling your not to far from home.  Maybe a bed and breakfast establishment.

Gentle Hugs
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
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tiaeight
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 1/30/2008 1:01 AM (GMT -7)   
This might sound silly but this is what helps me.  My kids are 4 hours away.  The last time, Christmas, my friend and I tried to drive to St Louis.  4 hours away.  I had to make her turn around after 15 minutes and take me home.  She went alone.  The time before, at Thanksgiving, she had to call an ambulance for me on the side of the highway.  So now, I take a pack of the little stickies that you would use in notebooks.  It's a four hour drive so I stick 8 to the dash board.  Every thirty minutes, I take one down.  Then I have 7,  then 6, etc.....As I see them getting lower, I get more excited because I am making the drive!!!  I hope it helps even though it does sound silly!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/30/2008 7:02 AM (GMT -7)   
NO it doesnt sound silly at all

YOU do what you have to do and that means anything withinn your power to fight and beat this DD down like it does us..........That is working for you and that is so great ......It just might help someone else as well so thanks so much for sharing with us how you do it .........LYN

Panike......I honestly think and this is only my opinion that you might benefit from CBT as Kitt has posted it does change your thinking patterns and ways of thinking about self ......it sounds like you have a bit of Anticipatory anxiety as well ........

When you do go on a trip take all meds with you ......make sure hubby has his meds and I am sure all will be just fine ........I know it is easy for me to say and harder for you to do but like was posted taking small trips every few days would no doubt help as well and ease your mind a bit too ........

Please do keep us posted......
I am the other end of the spectrum I GO out driving with the 'Oldies" cranked full blast and just drive and drive with no actual destination in mind ..........it helps me to mellow out .........
We are all different yet the same ya know what I mean.........
Stay strong and fight the fight ..........Never give up or in.......You have anxiety and panic .....Anxiety and Panic DOES not have YOU


Be well..........Lyn
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns
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