Hey Taz, hi this is Kitt. By now you are back at the hospital and you have gone past the panic. I know it is hard and the scary part of having your husband in surgery makes you feel so alone. You are strong and I know you will push the panic down and just stay in the moment. Let out the tears at that will release some of the pent up anxiety.
Take it one step at a time. Don't try to act brave in front of others, you don't have to make others feel you don't need someone to lean on. Reach out and hold on. You will get through this. You must so no beating yourself up my friend. Be good to you and we are all here to help you.
Taz I so glad that all went well and you both made it thru the first surgery. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers for the rest of the journey.
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