Hey, its been awhile since I posted on a/p, but I am in need of more venting. I have been having ups and downs with the Fibro, but my a/p and depression are whats really bothering me. I had a bad day yesterday as I got in a fight with my sister. I wont go into details..(as that would take to long)
It actually all started at school. I have been very anxious and panicky at school lately, not sure why. But, I had an anxiety attack and after it I was left in a bad mood. One of those where someone can look at me funny and I break. Got home. Got in a fight. Left. Came home. My same sister and brother got into it. Its was a bad day. After my fight I was so angry and I hit the door... yea, my hand looks pretty bad...and I know it wasnt the right choice, but it just happened in the moment. After I calmed down, I just started freaking out and I couldnt breath... a panic attack came next, of which I would rather not think about.
So, its been hard emotionally. I have been having really bad headaches the past couple weeks and I am not sure if its just a headache, stress related, or just thinking so much. I have just been feeling on edge alot like something is about to happen or I am about to have a nervous breakdown. I just feel like cracking. Exploding. Crying hysterically. Slumped in a dark corner. With my hands over my head. Not knowing whats happening. Scared to death. Thats how I imagine it anyways... Plus, thats kind of how it happened before...
Anyways, I am not really sure what I should do. I am, however, talking to my teacher more about my anxiety, I am just not sure how to explain it. I just feel like I want to go psycho all over the place... I am about to burst. I told her about my anxiety attack I had in her class yesterday. But, I am just not sure what else to tell her. I am just not sure how to explain my feelings...
Well, thanks for letting me vent. I am trying my best to talk to her. I know she cares and she would want to know. I am trying my best to figure it all out on my own, but that just isnt happening for me. I can only do so much myself...
"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another
word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart
no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to
smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."