Falling Apart....again

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TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/12/2008 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, its been awhile since I posted on a/p, but I am in need of more venting. I have been having ups and downs with the Fibro, but my a/p and depression are whats really bothering me. I had a bad day yesterday as I got in a fight with my sister. I wont go into details..(as that would take to long)
 
It actually all started at school. I have been very anxious and panicky at school lately, not sure why. But, I had an anxiety attack and after it I was left in a bad mood. One of those where someone can look at me funny and I break. Got home. Got in a fight. Left. Came home. My same sister and brother got into it. Its was a bad day. After my fight I was so angry and I hit the door... yea, my hand looks pretty bad...and I know it wasnt the right choice, but it just happened in the moment. After I calmed down, I just started freaking out and I couldnt breath... a panic attack came next, of which I would rather not think about.
 
So, its been hard emotionally. I have been having really bad headaches the past couple weeks and I am not sure if its just a headache, stress related, or just thinking so much. I have just been feeling on edge alot like something is about to happen or I am about to have a nervous breakdown. I just feel like cracking. Exploding. Crying hysterically. Slumped in a dark corner. With my hands over my head. Not knowing whats happening. Scared to death. Thats how I imagine it anyways... Plus, thats kind of how it happened before...
 
Anyways, I am not really sure what I should do. I am, however, talking to my teacher more about my anxiety, I am just not sure how to explain it. I just feel like I want to go psycho all over the place... I am about to burst. I told her about my anxiety attack I had in her class yesterday. But, I am just not sure what else to tell her. I am just not sure how to explain my feelings...
 
Well, thanks for letting me vent. I am trying my best to talk to her. I know she cares and she would want to know. I am trying my best to figure it all out on my own, but that just isnt happening for me. I can only do so much myself...
 
thanks

"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/12/2008 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear TeNNiSd0C09
I am so sorry you had an anxiety attack but I think you were brave in talking to your teacher about it. Do youhave a school counselot?  I am not sure why your reaction to the anxiety seems to  lead toward the anger and the fights.  You may be dealing with an anger issue also.

I would really like to see you talk with a counselor or therapist to get some one on one therapy.  I hate to see you feeling so bad. 
Personally my anxiety attacks lead to depression as they keep me from doing what I want but I keep working to overcome them.
Gentle Hugs to you
Kitt
 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
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TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/12/2008 4:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks. I am more able to talk to my teacher now. I am not sure why, I just feel a closer connection to her now and I trust talking with her. Yes, I have a school counselor. I went to her every week for about 4 or 5 months. I quit going because I felt she could no longer help me. She wasnt doing a great job at it really.

After the anxiety attack I was just left in a confused state. I was in a bad mood for some reason. Normally I am left very depressed after one, but this one ws different. I was really depressed and in a bad mood so I did take it out on others.

I have been working very hard to overcome them, and I did for about a month or so, but they came back about 2 months ago... I have been trying my best to fight it but, it just doesnt seem possible to do it alone. But, I am trying, at least until I can get real help.

Thanks.

"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 2/12/2008 6:47 PM (GMT -7)   
HI Tennis i know how you feel! I hate feeling out of control like that! But i do get that way from time to time,like you were saying sometimes i feel like i'm going totally insane! When i have a really bad PA it leaves me feeling sad,lonely,and just plain old exhausted! Sometimes i just dont want to talk to anyone because it seems like talking to people sometimes make me even more frustrated, because no one seems to understand how you feel! But i'm glad you have someone you feel comfortable talking to (your teacher) I hope as the days go by you get better!HANG IN THERE MY FRIEND!!!

TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/13/2008 1:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Panike, that is exacting what I mean!!!! I feel exactly how you described! Its very nice to know someone understands what I am talking about! Thanks!

"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."

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