I have been where you are and actually got on the plane and went to west coast with my daughter to visit my son and his family. I was a basket case and was fixated on coming home. I know exactly where your at. I had trouble packing as I was so frightened. I actually did fly home alone 4 days earlier than the rest but once I knew I was headed home I just took my meds and made it back home to my safe area.
With a lot of med changes and therapy I am now able to go without the anxiety.
In your case sweetie, I would use the Valium as it is the longest acting. If you feel anxious, let the tears out, it is like letting off built up steam. I would wake up in tears and I had not even gotten out of bed.
Try deep breathing, sitting in the warm sun with a cup of something. Make time and a private place for you on this trip and please don't try to keep it all to yourself. Hiding the anxiety is just driving it higher. Let someone know you are having issues and you do need some space.
Many gentle hugs to you
I just recently went thru the exact same thing. My husband and I planned a trip and he was really looking forward to it, but because of a chronic illness I have, it sent me straight to anxiety ville. I was taking Valium and it was helping a little, but not enough. Doc changed me to Xanax, which really really helped.
I just returned from my trip this past Tuesday. I want you to know that I had the best time ever. All that worry and anxiety, and everything turned out so wonderful. I think my husband and I even bonded closer. During the entire time I took the Xanax 1 in the morning and 1 in the night, and I didn't have any problems. Maybe you can ask your doc about that, it really helped me alot. I am no longer taking it, but know that if that ol anticipatory anxiety acts up again, I have the correct medication. Plus I will soon start some therapy.
I hope you get some relief from your doc and are able to go on your family holiday and enjoy your time with them.