I feel like giving up

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Newmother
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 2/22/2008 11:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I really need advice, support, help? I've been having discomfort in my upper ab area for a long while now. I was diagnosed with IBS but I feel that was just a brush off diagnosis because I rarely get pain, it's just discomfort. I am easily stressed because all day I am in constant discomfort and no one understands. Now, I'm getting bad chest pain.. I went jogging two days ago (stress reliever) only to stop 3 minutes later because of chest pain. My chest felt stuffy/tight. I sit here all day, watch my daughter and try to just stay "sane"  I can't do this anymore. I'm getting no answers from my doctor, he just prescribed me pain medication. I don want to live on pills. I only take vitamins right now. I dont know what else to do. I dont have great insurance so I can't see a gastro or anything special.. just a family doc.. he felt my stomach the three times i've seen him and right after we go to his office and talk. I can feel my own stomach... I need answers.. I cried today for 4 hours straight. (never done this before) My fiance doesn't understand....I was crying and he set our daughter next to me to try and cheer me up which did work for a second until he left the room and she started crying...I was obviously crying and just fed up with what I'm feeling and you would think he'd take our daughter so I can have some time alone. Then he came in the room and said "your a mess, toughen up" nd finally took our daughter to the living room. I hate to cry in front of her. I wish it were that easy..... It's not easy living with the discomfort I'm living with. If this is anxiety why don't I get some sort of anti anxiety? My doctor just gave me pain pills.. the only reason i'm still getting by each day is because I have a daughter. I need help!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/22/2008 11:58 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey New mother,
You are ok, deep breath and let's sort this out.  You are a new Mom and even thow it is a happy time in your life it is stressful.  Has your physician done a chest xray or checked you for an upper respiratory infection?  I agree just giving you pain pills is not the answer.  You want to get to the bottom of the problem.

Are you eating a lot of fiber or using fibercon daily with full glasses of water for your IBS?  eyes  

Perhaps you shoud ask your PCP if you have a bit of post partum depression.  This is very comon and with help from your doc you should be able to get through it.

Please stick with us and let us help you.  Keep on posting and getting your feelings out.  We care about you so I hope you feel comfortable talking with us.

Hugs to you sweetie. 
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/23/2008 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning New Mother,

Hope your day is a good one and if you can get some sunshine that would be great.  Sunshine is good for people with depression.  Send some my way would you.  I am in the snowbelt..............ugh.
Hugs

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Newmother
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 2/23/2008 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for your support.. I needed to hear something.. if not anything..

Well today I had an argument with my fiance. I slept until 2pm, and I'm still very tired. My throat feels like something clicks or pops  when I swallow, possibly anxiety.. Trying my best to ignore what anxiety throws at me. I do realize my stress is out of control. Our dog peed on the floor, and that triggered my stress like crazy. I have a daughter to take care of, a house to clean, laundry needs to be done...and I just dont want to move a finger. I told my fiance "i give up on cleaning" I just dont want to do anything. I broke my cell phone, because.. I just had so much anger/stress I had to take it out on something. (never done this or felt the need to throw anything) My fiance is just looking at me like.. "where did you go, who are you" I think having so much discomfort, and getting no answers... having crappy insurance so even if I wanted answers, i'm screwed. My fiance thinks I can just "snap out of it and i'll be okay" i'm giving up. Im getting to the point where i just dont want to "feel" cause when i do.. it doesn't feel good. I may have some postpartum, but I feel like.. If I didn't have so much discomfort in my ab area- and if I can breath good...I wouldn't be feeling so depressed. I just want to feel normal.. NO discomfort. I want to eat whatever, go jogging again without chest pain... I want a life! Im in constant discomfort!!! my ab area feels awful, why? I dont think this is ibs.. i went to the library and every book on ibs doesn't relate to my symptoms.. i dont have pain,(only chest pain)  I have constipation but nothing to complain about.. yeah I get backed up, but I eat fiber and drink water and I'm o.k. the only things that bothers me is my discomfort in my upper ab area. Im starting to think it may be muscle related? because if i turn my body for too long and go back to normal it feels awful. I try to work out, it feels awful. Who do I go to see about this? I can't afford health it seems like. My miind feels ..crowded? foggy like..I can't think straight. I am getting muscle twitches all over..(anxiety, trying to ignore it)

I just want to lay in bed until I feel better.

If you were to see me in a store, you would think I'm perfectly healthy (other than me holding my stomach) I can play it off so well that I'm great, because I've been dealing with this since September. Now, i'm sick of dealing with it and acting like things are okay because there not. I can't even eat right now. At least I'm taking vitamins.. 

 yes I too get migraines, but I know its from crying.. if I cry too much my head starts pounding with a terrible migraine. It's weird, i use to get migraines ALOT in highschool, my friends kind've knew this about me because i always carried tylenol or advil... I would get such bad migraines I would throw up.. Then after I had my baby, well.. since I got pregnant they've stopped. It does suck getting migraines. I know a friend who gets them alot, and the doctors just give him pain meds as well. he's had an MRI and every test you can think of.. I personally think he's just stressed, he has 3 kids- and working full-time. Anyway, thanks for your support gals.. I am trying so hard to think positive (believe it or not) but it is hard.. the only positive thing in my life is my daughter and of course family in general.. but the way I feel.. is torture. Can postpartum really make your stomach in constant discomfort? and be affected by food? I dont know..


badhairday
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 2/23/2008 4:03 PM (GMT -7)   
New Mother:
 
Please accept my apology if I am stepping on toes, but as a mother of two very young children, I understand the overwhelming feelings you have about being able to keep up with everything.  A new baby is a wonderful gift, but a difficult job at the same time.  You are probably very sleep deprived, overwhelmed with feedings, laundry, cleaning, diapers and the like.  Perhaps talking with your fiance about your feelings will help alleviate some of your stress and see if he would be willing to take over for a day to allow you to get some much needed rest and calm down.  I also think that you should talk to your doctor about your feelings and see if he can put you on something temporarily.  When I had a toddler and a newborn I felt so stressed out, I could hardly breathe.  Please know that as your baby gets older (even just by a few weeks and months), a lot of stress disappears because you find a routine and your daughter will start sleeping in longer time intervals.  You are not alone with these type of feelings!  Lots of new mothers feel the very same way and there is nothing wrong with expressing the way you feel.  Lots of hugs and I hope your day gets better!

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 2/23/2008 6:57 PM (GMT -7)   

New mother, I have IBS and it's horrible, it's what they diagnose you with when they can't find an answer....frustrating??? YES..I am in constant pain, but there is nothing "wrong" with me...I hate it

Push your doc to get all that you can...don't let them make you feel silly.  It hurts, I know.. it (well I'm bollocking on now)

Email me if you need, we can do this together xxx


I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/24/2008 1:01 PM (GMT -7)   
PPD is a serious disorder and yes it can cause alot of problems with you or anyone that suffers from it
PLEASE do try to tell your doc ALL that is going on and that you are not wanting to do anything and lay in bed .....cry alot and just everything
He can only DX you properly if you give him ALL of your symptoms and what is going on
You can have anxiety and depression as well
I know you dont want to live on meds BUT you may have to resort to taking something to help you thru this ..........
I really feel for you and what you are going thru ....please do keep posting and getting the support here you need........Never give up sweetie .....there is always a way to work it all out .........
We are here for you
LYN


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns
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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 2/24/2008 1:27:49 PM (GMT-7)


Dixie
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 407
   Posted 2/24/2008 1:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey newmother, hang in there sweetie. It sounds like your Doc gave you something for possible pulled muscle in your upper ab area, you need to get back with him so he find out what is going on. could be an ulcer or gallbladder or several other things that needs to be check out. now remember crying will also cause your ab's to hurt, try taking a warm bath to see if it lessens the pain or not. and if you are going thru ppd the Doc needs to know so he can get you something to help. let him know everything you've tried and going thru. if you can't get back real soon talk to his nurse.
when did you last see your Doc?
how old is your baby?
     Dixie  
 May God Bless and keep you in his care.


Newmother
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 2/26/2008 3:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for the support. It is great to have people talking to me and knowing somewhat of what I'm going through. 
Well today,  I just recieved a bill from my doctor that I've been seeing for the tests I had done to check my liver and see if I had H.Pylori, both were good (thank God) but I'm stuck with a $300 dollar bill which I cannot pay. I called my insurance company and they dont cover it.. so I have to let my doctor know we can't do any more testing- this is what depresses me. I can't afford good health. So, I dont see the point in going to the doctor anymore if we can't even do tests and what not to rule things out of what's causing all this discomfort.. I dont know if this is post partum.. i've never met or heard about people having discomfort/weakness in the ab area before.. I can be happy and not have anxiety and play with my daughter but this discomfort will still be there. I've learned to live with it..but lately I've been so depressed because it's not going away and I dont want to "live with it" I want it to go away. I cant drink soda, I get chest pain.. I thought maybe I had GERD but prilosec and zantac make me feel sick.. so I dont know what else to try- I rarely get heartburn.. so I dont know- I can't jog to relieve stress because this too gives me chest pain- I talked with my fiance yesterday and him and his brother said "I would love to be a mother and stay home all day, thats easy"
This of course, upset me! I want him to understand that my work isn't always easy. He says "staying home with our daughter would be fun and easy, I dont know why you stress out so much" I tried to explain if I didn't have so much discomfort 24 HOURS A DAY, I wouldn't stress as much as I have been. I tried doing yoga but staying in one spot too long .. I'm more aware of how much discomfort I'm in and I panic.. so I try not to stay in one spot too long.. unless Im watching tv that takes my attention away.. I can't be on the computer too long either, I start to reallly slouch because all the discomfort. slouching somehow helps in a way.. it's not pain-just discomfort. The only pain I get is chest pain and side pain  (rarely) but it happens. Anyway, thanks you guys for your replies. It does help to have people to talk to.. I can't see my counselor anymore because I dont have a babysitter here- My fiance wouldn't want to drive me after work, he gets too tired. (he works in the sun all day) so instead of a counselor I guess coming here will help? Could this be thyroid related? I would love to get the tests done- but insurance is crappy. Are there any natural ways to help your thyroid? Maybe certain vitamins or herbal tea? I dont know, any advice will help. The reason I think it may be thyroid related-my hair is falling out in clumps/chest pain/the weird feeling in my throat/ tired ALWAYS/muscle weakness... idk.. thanks again for your replies everyone- it does help to know people understand.

badhairday
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 2/26/2008 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   

NewMother:

I was just reading your post and a few things crossed my mind that I remember happening to me.  Normally, post-partum you feel as though your hair is falling out in clumps, but really what happens is you grew more hair than normal while you were pregnant from the vitamins, etc. and that hair is now shedding.  This happened to me with both of my kids.  Also, this happens sometimes when I am really stressed out, so try to relax about that.  Also, some of your symptoms sound anxiety related (I would feel that way sometimes, too right after I delivered both of my babies).  I could just be making bottles and feel panicked and/or start crying at the drop of a hat. 

If the sensation in your stomach is this intense, I would say to call your doctor and work out some sort of payment arrangement because of the lack of insurance.  Most doctors have no problem doing this and will work with you.  Also, have you also ruled out lactose intolerance?

 


anastasia01
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 132
   Posted 2/26/2008 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Newmother You will be fine I promiss. I know how you feel. I have a 15 month old and a 4 month old. My hair is falling out a bunch. Everyday, all day. It is normal because I get sent baby information through email and it had a link that said WANDER WHY YOUR HAIRS FALLING OUT , so I clicked on it and it says your supposer to lose about 500 hairs a day but not to worry because you wont go bald. Just like the other lady said your just getting new hair. It said it would last for a little while. And cleaning I know gets tough, so keep your washer washing clothes everyday because pile up fast and it can get fustrating when you are dealing with a bunch of clothes. And mabye if you start washing every dish or fork or whatever you use immediately after you use it helps so much. When you feel bad I know it may be hard just to put one foot in the other but these are some tips for you. Need some more advice dont hesitate to chat. I am a stay at home mom for 2 babies and I would love to help. You will get better and feel better. Just keep your head up and know deep down that you will get through this.
ANASTASIA


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 2/26/2008 5:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi New Mother it sounds like you have alot going on and big reason why.I agree with what everyone else is saying about you being a new mother.I dont have any kids and i'm 32 years old.I've been married for 7.5 years and i have some fertility problems that are in the process of being fixed.Anyway whenever i even think about being a mother i get stressed out because i realize that it can be a big job! I am a neat freak and the thought of knowing i will one day have to let that go scares me! But you can only do what you can, you are not a machine! Your hubby should understand that and if he doesn't i would some how make him understand.about your health problems some of the things you named leads me to think that you are having some anxiety but i'm leaning more toward depression especially when you say you dont feel like getting out of bed and doin things! Depression and anxiety can trigger many symtoms within your body, i have been having panic attacks since 1996 and i've felt every ache and pain imaginable.Including stomache and chest pains.I saw you mentioned drinking a soda.I dont know how often you do but caffiene can also trigger some of these problems.When i drink alot of caffienated drinks i start having chest pains,heart palpitations and stomache pain.Thats when i know it's time for me to lay off them for a while.Also chocolate can do it because some of it contains caffiene.Anyway you need to keep buging your DR. until he listens and like Lyn said make sure you tell him everything you are experiencing mentally and emotionally because sometimes you can leave out one symtom and that could be the key to whats going on! Also like Lynn said you may need to try some kind of anti-depressants for a while even though you dont want to take pills just to see if it helps.If it does then 8 times out of 10 you probably are having some depression and anxiety.Good luck darling and may god be with you and help you to get some relief!

anastasia01
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 132
   Posted 2/26/2008 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
http://babyparenting.about.com/od/postpartum/f/pphairloss.htm
ANASTASIA


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 2/27/2008 6:26 PM (GMT -7)   
HI new mom i was just checking in to see how things were going i hope you have found some relief from your pain sweety! I hope the baby is doing ok as well.Hug her for me,my husband and i love babys i guess because were having a hard time concieving.When we see other people with babys we go up to them and play with them and talk to them.I know they change your life but they are truely a gift from God! I hope you will start feeling better soon so you can start enjoying your sweet lil' angel! Just take it one day and one moment at a time!

Newmother
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 3/2/2008 11:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Panike- good luck with having a baby. God will bless you when its the right time- thats how I felt when I became pregnant.. It really is great. Even though I may have "postpartum" and "anxiety" she makes me feel better. We went to the beach today, it was nice. We met up with some of my fiances friends...and had a good time. I've been good..well I've been alot better. The only thing that has been bothering me (almost wanted to go to the ER)

I've been getting chest discomfort. It feels "stuffy" I've had this happen before but I tried deep breathing thinking it was anxiety and i just got dizzy and felt out of breath. It was scary.. I felt like my chest muscles or something were just.. tightening and i dont know. it felt strange.. I felt maybe this could be heart related, my sister has a heart condition- then again it could be related to my ab discomfort? (I've had a heart ultrasound before, and ran on a treadmill while they watched my heart-test was fine. This was in November-no discomfort then, just shortness of breath) So, Im trying to convince myself that if it was heart related it would've showed up. Than my anxiety says..all this stress i've been having could've affected my heart.. idk. worry worry worry...

I also found a bruise on the side of my stomach, (never hit myself, or remember anyway) This wouldn't bother me, but I've been getting bruises on my legs and my Dr. says it could just be not enough vitamins.. so idk.. i do take Centrum daily? Anyway, I'm trying hard to ignore this "anxiety"

Something I'm excited about, I have a job interview tomorrow. I just pray this helps me and I dont quit because of Anxiety. I quit my last job because I would get shortness of breath, but I haven't had shortness of breath since.. november! I get discomfort like i've explained that "messes" with my breathing but it's something I can control now. So, I'm excited. The lady I spoke with says I can bring my baby if I need to, she liked my resume and said "we'll just talk briefly" I have hope.. I know God is holding my hand through this and I'll see better days.. I just have to have faith always.. sometimes I loose my way and want to give up, but I have to remember the good days and know there will be more-

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