How do People with anxiety Deal with Conflict

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/4/2008 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Good evening Everyone,
We all have times of conflict and when you already have a history of anxiety, conflict can increase your anxiety to where you feel you cannot cope.
Here are a few ideas on how to deal with the anger and lessen your anxiety.
When you are angry say nothing. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.

Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry. Some people may unfortunately take a malicious pleasure in trying to make you mad. However if we can feel indifferent to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even acknowledge them, then there words and actions will have no effect.
When we feel anger coming to the fore try to take a step back and say to yourself “This anger will not help me in any way."

If we value peace of mind as our most important treasure we will not allow anger to remain in our system.

The simple act of breathing deeply will help considerably with removing anger. You will find your anxiety level dropping down to where you can think more clearly and you will know that once again you have anxiety, it does not have you.

Please share with us how you deal with your anger when you have an Anxiety Disorder.  We are hear to listen and support.

Respectfully
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 3/4/2008 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kitt,

I usually post on depression but I like to read your forum because I suffer with anxiety too. I have found that deep breathing helps me a lot. I try to take ten breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Then I breath completely through the nose. After that I try relaxing my muscles from head to toe as if I were meditating. By the time I am done with that, I have usually calmed down. Then if I must, I can look at the situation again with a different state of mind. I find that things can only bother me if I let them. Life is so short. Though my anxiety may not be as bad as others here. MIne is more in the form of obsessive worry and thinking. I stress myself out to the point of illness.
hugs, Karen
I think that this is a very good post.
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/4/2008 8:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Karen and you are always welcome here.

I hope other members feel they can talk about what helps them or hinders them when they get into a tight spot.

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


LoStAnDfOuNd
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 3/4/2008 9:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I have a problem with this area. The majority of the time I am able to overlook what someone said to make me angry but then I spend days or weeks obsessing about something very mean or hurtful I would have liked to have said. I wish I could let things go. I don't want to say these hurtful things I think about afterwards. I guess the only way I am able to let something go without obsessing about it is to rant and rave to my sister about it. Humm..I guess that doesn't sound very good either.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 3/4/2008 9:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Aren't you glad though that you don't say those things. I think that it is better to hold back, at times, especially when you might lose control. Then you don't say something that you will regret. I have obsessive thinking issues, things use to bother me for a really long time. I started to take abilify and it helped me so that I don't do that much anymore.

I always figure, if that person has to say something to hurt me, they are really the ones hurting, or else they wouldn't feel that way about me. Let them be the bad guy instead of me.

hugs,
Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


badfish
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 3/6/2008 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Not well at all conflict sets off my anxst bigtime sad
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/6/2008 7:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning badfish,

Couple of ideas that may help you. It's important to notice the signals our body gives us when we start to feel angry. If we can catch these signals we have a much better chance of gaining control of our anger before we hurt ourselves or someone else. These are referred to as our triggers.
External Triggers are what happens to us, like when someone lies or puts us down.

Internal Triggers are the messages we give ourselves, "self-talk," that get us all worked up. They are sometimes based on assumptions or incorrect information.

Perhaps you could start attempting to recognize these triggers and then we can explore how to deal with these triggers next.
Take care my friend
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 3/6/2008 9:49 AM (GMT -7)   
When I get into a conflict, I get this wierd feeling in my body, like a heated adrenaline or something and usually get at a loss for words, I am not any good at argueing. That is why I avoid it. I can't remember things that I could say even when I know that I am right. I think that is why I like it here, I can take time to write what I feel and word it right. I would be no good at counseling face to face, but here it is so much more comfortable. I hate the feeling of anxiety. But I am getting better at dealing with it. I have learned to decide what I feel is right and stick to it. I think slow too, but as I said in previous point, I don't say things that I regret that way.
hugs, to all, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


badfish
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 3/6/2008 10:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt thts the prob I dnt angry I jus freeze or feel completely unable to act. Its afterwards I stress bout it. I never hurt any1 aggressivley too much violence in my own past. I agree wiv you getting by I like being able to think bout wht im saying rather than talking face to face. I always bck down in arguements then wen the arguement finished It think y did i bck down i was rite. Depends on who Im arguing wiv tho.

Getting By
Im glad you've learned wen wht u feel is right becoz i dnt trust my emotions at all nemore. One of the things I miss most is being able to trust my emotions know tht wht Im feeling is correct not my brain misinterpretating stuf.
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/6/2008 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   

I hear what you are all saying.  I will freeze to in public and if I do speak out I have a very difficult time staying in the assertive mode instead of the aggressive mode.

My anger seems to be at the person who has put mei in the position of being in this confrontation not so much as what is said by why it had to start in the first place.  I like peace.

Hugs, and your all doing gret with this topic.

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


freezinginAK
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1052
   Posted 3/6/2008 6:32 PM (GMT -7)   

  Boy Kitt you really hit this one on me, For I'm not the type that likes to back down and will hold my ground (but not with my wife, I just walk away) but for some reason I don't get scared by it, but rather feel like I have more control over myself by just letting it all out and most will back down I don't know how or why but if it dose brake into a fight I don't feel no pain from the rush of it, I don't like it but that's just the way I was taught.

  Cowboy up


   Forum Moderator A/P
 
  Happiness is sitting around a warm campfire with no worries or cares as day turns to night.
 
  Help Healing Well grow as your donations are greatly appreciated @
          www.healingwell.com/donate
  Anxiety/Panic, CFS, CNS damage, MCS and Diabetes type 2
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/6/2008 9:04 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Cowboy
Great input and honesty. I appreciate your response and I am sure others will speak out too.

I am off till Tuesday so take care here and I wish you some warm weather.
Hugs

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Aaron787
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2014
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/17/2014 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
My entire life I have had trouble dealing with conflict and confrontation. When I enlisted in the Army is when my depression and anxiety went through the roof. If anyone raises their voice, I hear a loud noise, or someone comes to me about an issue I just shut down. I can't move, I cant talk, my heart starts racing, and all I want to do is run away and hide. I have tried separating myself from the issue, letting myself calm down, and then readdressing the issue, but I am still unable to deal with it. I need help dealing with my issues and going to a counselor makes me very uncomfortable.

Regards,
Aaron

Merrida
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 4771
   Posted 9/18/2014 12:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aaron and welcome to HW's Anxiety Forum.

Everything you've described is the typical fight or flight syndrome that we all experience. Every human being, with your without anxiety. It's what's perpetuated evolution.

We learn to cope with these things since we cannot make the actual trigger (such as behaviour of another) go away or modify another's behaviours.

I noticed you posted on a very old thread that hasn't seen much action in years.

I'd like to encourage you to make an introductory thread of your own, ..... let the gang here meet you, tell us something about yourself. That way we can all give you a warm and cheery welcome aboard! (Sometimes when a new post is added at the tail end of an old thread, a lot of people will miss it). You'll get more traffic if you do an intro and let us all meet you!! :)

Looking forward to your Super Startup Thread!





M.
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum


"My time for tears will be at my Victory...not at the start of the War." ~~Vickie

Kelly 0491
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2014
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/16/2014 11:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all, I have found that all the things that have been suggested in this thread I have spoken to people about before and have tried to make the conscious effort to do in times I start to feel anger or feelings of anxiety.

I aIways seem to loose sight of this when I am in a situation and my mouth and thoughts run away from me but always claim I am trying to make the situation better. This is effecting my relationship with loved ones.

Does anyone else find it very easy to loose their cool and even at times over something they're not entirely sure of?? After I have been in a situation that has turned sour due to my tone or behaviour I start to feel very low about that and find it hard to move on from it so it always appears I have no interest in moving past the situation in order to make it better.

I would greatly appreciate anyone sharing their story and if they do anything to help either being able to accept fault or letting go of a feeling that would usually not matter to others.

Thanks

jf0310
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2014
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 11/16/2014 11:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh my gosh, when I saw this thread and who started it my heart dropped. Then I had to look at the date it was started. 😔
33 year old wife and mother of two girls.
Living with Panic Disorder and Health Anxiety.

Cornell
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2014
Total Posts : 740
   Posted 11/16/2014 2:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Kelley

Thank you for posting... Let me welcome you to the A/P forum!

I'm sure we all can relate to "losing our cool" and not being able to "let things go" as easily as we would like to.

You responded to an old post... Please introduce yourself in a new post as you will get a lot more direct responses from our members. (Just hit "post new topic" towards the top of the screen)

I will elaborate more on my response to your concerns on your new post!

Sincerely,

Cornell

Post Edited (Cornell) : 11/16/2014 2:46:08 PM (GMT-7)


wearyRAsufferer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2323
   Posted 11/16/2014 7:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow
I feel like Kitt is speaking to me from the beyond as I have been struggling with an anger problem with a certain person and I need to put some of Kitt's wisdom into place. It's been causing me depression and I think I can move past it if I follow her advice.

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24636
   Posted 11/16/2014 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
You know what WRAS? She really is!!

...and she will continue to live on here and help all of us!:)

You know, I was debating whether to lock down older threads (coming up presently) that were started by Kitt in fear that it might bring up some raw feelings, or even shock us, as Jf mentioned...

..but your post has showed me otherwise.:)

Long live Kitt, here in our forum and hearts!!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

princessmel
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2014
Total Posts : 356
   Posted 11/16/2014 9:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I tend to avoid conflict at any cost. I tend to also stuff my anger...which really does not help my anxiety.
Dx: Bipolar 1, Panic Disorder
Rx: Prozac 80mgs, Topamax 100mgs, Zyprexa 30mgs, Saphris 5mgs, Xanax 0.5mgs

NoMorePanic
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 11/17/2014 1:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I know this is an old post and the OP is no longer with us - but just wanted to say this really hit home too. I have just recently begun to realize how much my anxiety affects my anger. I am always yelling it seems. I just feel like I am mad at everything. My husband and I have had a lot of problems with this. I have no friends anymore because anytime there is a conflict - no matter how minor I just avoid it and stop talking to the person. I had the same friends for over 25 yrs and I just let them fade away. because it was easier for me to let them go instead of fight for their friendship. :(

Kelly 0491
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2014
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/17/2014 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
hi all, I was advised to start a new thread for my post as this one is a little old. Please follow this link to the new thread.

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&p=1&m=3245558#m3246058

wearyRAsufferer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2323
   Posted 11/17/2014 7:24 PM (GMT -7)   
SC- I agree- lets let Kitt live on thru her posts that people are still connecting with. There is a wealth of her wisdom out there. I am so glad I got to experience this post I'd never seen before and it spoke to me.

No More Panic- Anger comes out as a defense mechanism when I am scared.

NoMorePanic
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 11/18/2014 7:26 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree WRAS. I just didn't realize it till recently. I wish my anxiety would go away so I could be a happier person for my family. and for myself. im on Effexor but it doesn't seem to work. and I take Xanax as needed but it just makes me sleep. I just feel like there is nothing out there to help me.
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 05, 2016 5:42 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,900 posts in 301,070 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151224 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, teacher2many.
216 Guest(s), 6 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
don826, teacher2many, Sherrine, NevadaMike, fibrocushie, Traveler


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer