Am I going crazy

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1day@atime
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/11/2008 6:47 AM (GMT -7)   
I was diagnosed with panic attacks 2 yrs ago and since then I have been taking Exfr. 
The panic attacks come and go (usually I think that I am having a heart attack) but for the most part I have learned to deal with them. 
Latley tho I have been starting to worry about going crazy.  Its hard to explain, but sometimes it feels like I am paranoid.  I go online and spend hours reading about mental illnesses, only to scare myself more.
Basically what is happens is, I have a thought, obsess over it, worry if its a "crazy thought", worry that I am going crazy...become overwhelmed, and then confused...
 
I find that I question everything that I do...If Im not crazy I worry that I am driving myself in that direction.  I read about all the harmful things that stress can do to a person and I dread them all.
 
Moast of the time it is hard to explain how I feel...but I think the best way to describe it is just to say that sometimes I dont feel right. 
Can someone shine some word of wisdom my way?
 
Thanks :)

Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/11/2008 7:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi and welcome....I know all too well how you feel. I learned that reading a lot of information on the internet is not a good thing to do for people like us. For me,
after I read an article, I would begin to think I had a disease, symptoms and then
the panic would start to settle in. Our minds go on overload and we cant stop thinking about what will happen next. This is very common in people with panic disorder. We seem to think the worse about everything, but if you stop and think,
it never really happens. It is hard to explain, and that feeling of "just not feeling right" is very common. You are not going crazy.......its the panicky feelings we get.
Try and stay away from reading articles on the internet. Some are credible and there are a lot that are not. Stay in touch here, manyyyyyyyy great people that can help you.
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
celexa, xanax


1day@atime
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/11/2008 7:25 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Tootie!


badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 3/11/2008 8:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Totally agree. The internet can be a curse. I have diagnosed myself with everything from MS to Epilepsy. Like Tootie said, our brains tend to spiral out of control. And yes...I have worried about going crazy as well.

I have decided I am looking forward to it, as long as I am not aware of my insanity I would probably be totally happy...like ignorance is bliss! (Kidding) I think if your are questioning if you are crazy, you are not.

1day@atime
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/11/2008 8:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to clarify that my "confused thoughts" dont just pertain to me researching mental illnesses online...it happens all the time. I find anything can trigger my brain to go into overload. I spend alot of time obessed with every move I make and every thought I have. Im wondering is it possible to overthink all of your actions?? Cause thats what seems to be my main problem. And then I conclude that i must be right crazy.

Im paranoid about being paranoid.

Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/11/2008 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   

I can relate to you very well.  When I an anxious and panciky and need to go out of the house, I start thinking the "what ifs".  What if I go crazy while driving, what if I go crazy while in the store, and on it goes.  The dr tells me it is the imbalance of serotonium in the brain and I cant stop thinking about bad things. I TRY to think of good things, but when we are anxious, we are scared and nervous.  This panic/anxiety is not a fun thing and it is very difficult to deal with.  But like I said, what are the chances of it happening?

It has never happened since I was diagnosed with anxiety 20 some years ago, and it probably never will.  Its hard to train you brain, lol.  But hang in there, you are not alone.  Hope this makes sense, hon


Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
celexa, xanax


badfish
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 3/11/2008 9:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I can relate to wht u say i first had anxiety attacks i avoided going to the doctor for bout 2months coz i was sure he was going to diagnose me as schizophrenic, turns out i cudn't have been wrong adn accepting tht wht i hav is jus an anxiety disorder means wen i do get Anxs attack I kno exactly wht it is and can myself to stop being so stupid.

It sounds altho ur like most of us and struggle wiv obsessive thoughts.
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/11/2008 9:18 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey there 1Day,

You may have a bit of an issue with Health Anxiety.  Please remember I am not a professional. Health phobia refers to an excessive preoccupation or worry about having a serious illness. Often, health anxiety  persists even after a physician has evaluated you  and reassured you  that  your concerns about symptoms do not have an underlying medical basis or, if there is a medical illness, the concerns are far in excess of what is appropriate for the level of disease.

Your anxiety is now scaring you into believing you are going "crazy". You are not going crazy as you are posting here and you are very capable of making  informed consents and understanding what the members are posting to you.

Try to stay in the moment, don't let the "what ifs" rule your life.  Remember we have anxiety, it does not have us.  Keep posting and lose the google for a bit.  You are scaring yourself with what you read.

You are doing to be ok,  trust.  We are all here for you.

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/11/2008 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Kitt...........that was an awesome post.  It seems like I have Health anxiety, even after ER drs and my Internist tell me the only thing I suffer from is anxiety and Fibromyalgia......which is enough. But there are times I can talk myself into thinking I am having a heart attack, etc.  Thanks for that post, it really hit home


Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
celexa, xanax


1day@atime
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/11/2008 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Badfish

I also though I was a schizophrenic, or something was wrong. Just because I felt so unlike myself.
I feel like Im waiting to go crazy! Sometimes I even catch myself imaging that I can see things even tho I cant. Or listening for something that I cant hear. Sometimes I think that if I were crazy then things would make sense.

Maybe subconiously I want to have something wrong. I guess getting to know yourself is the hardest thing of all and I look forward to the day that I am comfortable with everything that swims around in my brain.

Also I ordered that Attacking anxeity program...and reports back?? Did it help anyone?

nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 3/11/2008 1:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hiya,

You are not going crazy!!! But I know exactly how you feel. I go through these periods where I feel completely "out of it" and I'm so hyper aware of how "out of it" I feel that I almost get stuck inside my own head. I can't concentrate on anything other than how weird and out of it I feel. Often times I find myself complaining that I don't feel good... which makes me worry that everyone has got to be thinking "Wow does this chick ever feel good"... anyway, I believe that what you've described is similar to how I feel. Mind you it comes in spurts. But when I'm in a mode like this I find that the very first thought I have the moment I open my eyes in the morning is.. OK how do I feel today......... still weird and it just goes on and on from there. I'm currently in the middle of a 7 day stretch of feeling "out of it". I started sobbing yesterday after work and my Husband thinks I'm nuts. Anyway I start thinking am I really doing this to myself or is there some awful brain tumor or something making this happen..... I HATE feeling like this!!!

Liz

1day@atime
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/11/2008 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
hey liz
do you ever feel like you head is tinglling??? LOL I always think I have a brain tumor...or something in there that if I could remove I would be perfect!

Seriously all of us need to laugh at ourselves...or maybe take a trip to the hospital and visit real patients with actual problems who wish despiratley that they could be a what if thinker instead of dying from a gorrible disease! 
 
I dont even know what I would be like without anxiety...i feel like it 50% of who I am!
 
 

nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 3/11/2008 1:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes I feel the tingling but I would describe as more of a vibrating feeling in my head... here's a good way to describe it, have you ever watched one of those cop shows like NYPD Blue that try and make you feel like your there by having the camera moving all over the place? That's how I feel all the time kinda out of it, kida dizzy, kinda like I'm watching my life happen. There are even times (when in this mode) I feel like when I decide to try and interact with people my voice doesn't even feel like it belongs to me. It's SOOO hard to explain. I also ALWAYS feel like I'm clenching the muscles inside my head. My jaw, my neck, my brain (if it has muscles then I'm clenching them).

Believe it or not there have been times when I've wished for a diagnosis that can be completely fixed by medicine - I wouldn't mind being in the hospital with a curable disease that's making me sick rather than an on-going debilitating mental/chemical imbalance that periodically screws up my world - ya know?

Liz

1day@atime
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/11/2008 2:04 PM (GMT -7)   
i hear you liz!!! I know EXACTLY what you are talking about!

Expecially the outta body thing...Im right here with you!

marlys
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/18/2008 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi... is this thread still going? I'm not quite sure where I'm supposed to post, so I'll keep this short, as a "test" post.

I have suffered from anxiety for the past two years, with the most overwhelming/debilitating ('though I don't like to use that word much to describe this because it gives the anxiety power) fear being that I will develop schizophrenia... even though I realize, in my moments of clarity, how ridiculous and highly unlikely a prospect this is. Um... I'm just wondering where I can post for support on this? Is this the spot?

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/19/2008 3:52 AM (GMT -7)   

Marlys, Hello and Welcome to Healing Well and the A & P forum.

To open a new thread of your own just click on new topic and put a title on your topic so people will know what you want to talk about.  Then post away to your hearts content.

When you are through posting be sure to click on the submit button at the end of your mesage and it will be posted to the board.

I am sure you will be pleased with all the response you receive.

I am so glad to have you join us and you will meet many wonderful and caring members.  Thisis one awesome site.
Kitt
 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/19/2008 3:57 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Moring 1 day,

Checking in bright and early today to see how you are doing? I see you have met some of of super members and you have receive some wise support.

Please keep posting as we are all here for you and will do our best to help you out.

Gentle Hugs
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


1day@atime
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/19/2008 12:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey!!!
 
Im okay
I upped my Effexor and Im feeling a little down the last couple of days...but Im waiting for the feeling to pass. 
 
Tomorrow I am going to see my bf in the states so Im looking forward to that,,,but dreading the bus ride.
 
YUK
 
I kinda feel like I am been in a up and down cloud for the last 2 weeks...its kinda scary but Im hoping it will go away.
 
Other than that I had a crazy panic attack last night I thought for sure it was the end. I called my boyfriend and he read to me on the phone until I feel asleep, no joke with the phone to my ear LOL. 
 
I think I kinda figured out the reason why my anxiety has been so bad.  Since the summer I put on about 35 pounds and have become really insecure.  I think everytime I think about something i think about it through the eyes of my insecure self and I question what Im thinking. 
 
Like I dread running into old people...or even spending time with my closest friends because Im afraid of what they are thinking.  When ever I am walking down the street I walk with my head down so that If I did run into someone they wont see me.  It actaully makes me sad to write this...:(
 
I dont know if it is the reason...Im sure gaining weight for alot of woman is hard...I think I just feel like Im floating away more and more from the person I used to be and turning into this anxisious person every day.
 
But other than all of that..>Im okay :)

badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 3/19/2008 3:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Its so sad that thinness in woman is valued in woman so much that it drives us to anxiety and panic. One of my personal obsessions is my weight. Gaining a few pounds also is hell on my emotions, so you are not alone in that. Just be healthy and don't let it get the best of you. When I went to the Dr. this fall and he dx some symptpms of depression, my main complaint was fatigue. He insisted it was because I was not eating enough and wanted to monitor my food intake, 3 meals a day! So now I have gained about 7 pounds and my jeans don't fit! how depressing! Don't misunderstand, I have never been underweight, I just tend to not eat regularly and obsess about my apperarance. It definitly contributes to anxious obsession.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/19/2008 4:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I have problems as well when I gain weight but this time the doc told me ( I was 88 lbs ) i think that IF I had not gained by the time I saw him I was being tube fed in hospital ......Never agin
I started eating caramel sundaes up to so many a day and by the time I saw him I was 117 lbs which was in 2 weeks
FOR me it felt not good I didnt like self at that weight I ahve issues as well with that so I ahve backed of to maybe one once in awhile ...I am eating smaller meals more times a day now I will not be tube fed .....I was CONSTANTLY exhausted at the light weight I was ......and dehydrated as well not good for the crohns nor for my teen daughter to see...
I wish you all the best........

Health anxiety can rule your life I implore ppl to stay off thenet for this reason........
YOU do succumb to what you read if you already have health anxiety IMHO

Take care
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/19/2008 4:29 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey there, I so understand the weight gain from the ADs as I am not sure if I want to be thin and goofy or sane and chubby.  When my weight goes up my self esteem plumments as I am sure people are thinking.........look at how fat she got.

Who ever decided rail thin women were in vogue should be shot at sunrise or made to walk the plank.  It is who we are inside not on the outside.  I am empathetic to your  feelings.

Hugs

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


LifeChange
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 3/21/2008 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
hey OP
 
the same EXACT thing happens to me, you described it perfectly.  going crazy is my biggest fear too because if a traumatic experience i had.
 
dont worry though this happens to most people with anxiety. the best thing to do is ignore it all (easier said than done, i know). our minds with anxiety can think of the wildest things in the world, no matter how bad scary crazy far out etc.
 
worst thing to do is to worry about each new symptom or thought or action. ignore them all and live in faith! good luck

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/22/2008 6:34 AM (GMT -7)   
In all honesty you would never know IF you have gone crazy......

Many ppl do go thru this with Health anxiety as I posted above but it sure is not happening to you nor us
We have anxiety/, panic


ANXIETY and PANIC do not have us
and no we are not going crazy

I totally agree ignore all these wild thoughts and feelings of bad DD they are part of the a/ p IMHO
**If it gets real bad for you plz do seek professional help and let us know how you are doing

Take care and BREATHE......you have a great support system right at your fingertips

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 3/22/2008 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I too go through stages were i feel like i'm going crazy.I just had an episode last week,it lasted a few days! I also feel the out of body feeling when i get like that.It's crazy,like you said 1Day you feel like you are literally standing somewhere watching yourself.For me i feel like everything is going in slow motion and like nothing or no one around me is real! When i feel like this i usually feel like i'm just going through the motions of life like going to work,eating,and sleeping. I usually feel like that for a few days and sometimes i even feel sucidal while i'm going through this stage! It's like what you guys said,i worry about everything and diagnose myself with everything! The thought of being or becoming schizophranic went through my head as well last week! I felt like i was totally alone! I was extremely jumpy and had no appetite.I also felt sluggish and like i was in a fog! But for me as quick as the feeling comes it goes and then i feel ok for a while! But i do sometimes worry that i'm going to get like that one day and not recover! I really wish there was a cure for P/A because it literally eats away at your life bit by bit. Sometimes i no longer feel like myself i feel like my whole life is P/A!

marlys
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/31/2008 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay, so, I actually cried when I first came across this board. A couple of years ago, when my anxiety first began, I had been posting sporadically on a different anxiety forum, but it wasn't quite clicking for me. That was the only such site I had found at that point, and I couldn't relate to most of what people were posting there - mainly physical anxiety symptoms and specific phobias of buses and stuff like that. Not being able to relate corroborated (in my mind) that what I have must not be anxiety disorder, but something scarier. I have developed a phobia of mental illness over these past two years, specifically schizophrenia because my mother is schizophrenic. Even though I have none of the symptoms, it is almost impossible for me to convince myself that I'm not crazy about 80% of the time. Which is... exhausting, as I'm sure some of you can relate. I'm constantly checking every single aspect of my personality and life - everything from my taste in art to my romantic relationships to even my posture or the way I write in cursive - and trying to identify whether I'm becoming like my mother. The other 20% (on a good day) of the time, I feel like one of the most mentally healthy people on the planet; I have the clarity to see that not only am I not crazy, but that being hypervigilant about preventing myself from going crazy is not only somewhat detrimental to my mental state, but a ginormous waste of time and mental effort. Good grief. Every time I actually write it out, it exhausts me to think of all of the effort I put into thinking about my over-thinking. Does that make sense?
 
Jeesh. All I really wanted to say was that I really appreciate having access this board, and though I am not naive enough to see the support provided here as a cure, I'd say it's the closest thing I've seen. Does it come in pill form? :D
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