Just Wondering...Can you Recall first Panic Attack and Circumstances??

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Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/25/2008 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
 Hey all
Hoping everyone had a great wknd .....
I was just thinking last night about my very first attack and I was 8 yrs old .
Mom and Dad were always drinking and I was having to always clean up after them and watch the young ones
I remember Mom with blood all over her face....her and Dad had gotten into a dousy of a fight and plenty of violence involved well over 40 yrs ago
THIS is I believe the very first time I went into a full blown attack
I was so afraid to see mom like that they both were horrid on rye or liquor of any sorts ......
 
I became a protecter for a few yrs but then thank god it all stopped dad quit drinking .........
 
I had been damaged by then and I know I will never forget this as long a I live......
 
Anyone else remember their's???


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/25/2008 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I sure do. My parents were alcoholics and me being the middle child and only girl, I was the protector of my older and younger brother. My first attack was when I turned 13, and it happened in school. I was in cooking class and all of a sudden I started shaking, sweating and almost fainted.
My mom took me to the dr and he said it was because I wasnt eating enough.
The attacks continued, but I was afraid to mention them to anyone, I was too
embarrassed. Its sad we had to go thru this at such a young age. I didnt come to terms with it until I was 38, when I reached my breaking point when
menopause started at an early age. Thank God I finally told my dr.
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
celexa, xanax


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/25/2008 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Tootie
Thanks for sharing....you never know who you may help with your posts ya know
I am so sorry you too went thru the drinking and being the protecter.I grew up too fast never had a " childhood" persay............and I cannot get it back .......
Again thanks for sharing and know you are not alone in this ...
.Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 3/25/2008 11:28 AM (GMT -7)   
My first one was at work in September of 99 (I was 22). I has returned to work after having my daughter and was simply inputting something into the computer when I got this horrible sensation that I could't take a deep breath. Of course I started taking more and more deep breathes hoping that I would be able to get a real "good one" which probably made me hyperventilate. I remember it was raining and I left work and drove all the way home with the windows down. My Mom (who's an RN) talked me down a bit and said that I wasn't dying it was probably a panic attack. She sat down with me, we broke out the wine and had a glass. I felt a little better but it ultimately lasted the one solid month. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and the majority of that month either stuck in my house terrified or in the emergency room. I've struggled with GAD ever since and still have the panic attacks once in a great while (More just edgy all the time)... my biggest problem lately are the obsessive thoughts and the sensations that something terrible is going to happen... I would give anything to never have felt this way and to be blissfully unaware of anxiety.

Liz

Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/25/2008 1:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Lyn.............not having a childhood and having to be the adult in these situations carry great consequences as we grow up. I think that is why I was
so protective over my own children and worked 110% to be the perfect mom,
which I know added to my anxiety. I stopped blaming my parents when they became ill and they died within 15 mos of each other. I took care of them for
13 years, as my mom lost her eyesight and my dad developed a ton of ailments.
I never resented taking care of them though, forgave them, and they both died in my arms, as I promised I would never put them in a nursing home. Running two homes, my parents and my own. was very difficult, and it was after they both were gone, that my anxiety started up again. I think of them often, and have tried to bury the parts that were so horrible when I was a child, but they do surface. They are at peace now, and I will always love them. Its up to me now to get this anxiety under control and stop blaming myself for their ways. Wellll, I guess I rambled enough, but it helps to do it once in awhile. Thanks Lyn

Big hug to you
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
celexa, xanax


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 3/25/2008 2:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hmm...my first one was about 9 months ago... it was Aug 6 about 3 in the morning. (I only remember because school started on the 7th)... anyways, it was the first one and it was the scariest thing ever. I have only had one where I came so close to passing out that I had to fight it. That was the worst. I have only had about 5 or 6 really bad ones these past months, and havent had one in about a month. Although, the way I am feeling right now, I know it I cant calm down and stop worrying and stressing right now that it will lead to one... I'm trying really hard...

"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/25/2008 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Tootie
I too looked after mom for well over 10 yrs and dad too til I got sick just awhile back with pnuemonia
I HAD promised them both the same no nursing homes.........

Mom has been gone for just 2 yrs now and dad is literally dying with cancer.He also wants to be with Mom and has given up
We have alot in common dont we...
I strive for the perfection of being a great mom and actually thanks to a gret kid I am not doing to bad a job
I am severe OCD but getting better with CBT

Take care my friend
WE will WIN this battle

Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/25/2008 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   
TeNNis
I am so glad you joined in and posted this
I know you will beat this you have enough support and friends here to help you
JUST HOLLER k
Keep fighting my friend

Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


Pressing
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 3/25/2008 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   
My first attack was at 13 years of age. I was standing in school for an awards cerimony and started to get anxious, I ended up getting pains in my stomache and not too long after that I woke up in the back of the room with one of the teacher rubbing me head. They said I didn't pass out but I don't remember any of what happend.

I was also the protector of my siblings due to my parents alcohol and drug use. I was the second eldest so I did alot. My mom always came to me when my dad had hurt her, as if she was going to great advice from a kid. But she had no one else. Many times the abuse took place in front of us, he even chased her with weapons. I recall hiding in a neighbors house a few times with my mom waiting for him to settle. Perhaps this is where the anxiety stemmed from along with the abuse I was dealing with at the time.

Alcoholic parents seem to be a treand here with anxiety.
Glad you are all fighting the good fight and glad to be here with you

Pressing
Depression, PTSD
 
"Courage is not the absence of fear, its the ability to look fear in the eyes"
"I have depression, depression doesn't have me"


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/25/2008 5:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks and we are glad you are with us too
yes alcohol does play a big role IMHO in many a/p peeps lives

I have not drank since 1979 ........

Thanks for sharing pressing....it does the soul good I truly believe........LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


Pressing
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 3/25/2008 6:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Congrats on your alcohol victory Lyn. Thats a huge step to take. I'm sure it was not easy.
Your a strong women:)

Pressing
Depression, PTSD
 
"Courage is not the absence of fear, its the ability to look fear in the eyes"
"I have depression, depression doesn't have me"


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/26/2008 6:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Pressing
NO it was not an easy thing to do at all
BUT it was a choice I had to make if I wanted to LIVE and I did
Thanks for your support

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


badfish
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 3/26/2008 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
My first attack occured wen i was 22, I had been awake for over 48 hours coz i had so much uni work todo. I had to giv speech and i cudn't find the room wher the speech was so I ended up being late. When I did find it, I just cudn't go in the now familiar pans in my chest and I had the overwhelming sensation that i jus needed to get away from this place. However it was combination of alot stressful factors tht finally drove me into anxiety attacks, the extreme lack of sleep prob didn't help either.
 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 3/26/2008 11:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou all for sharing...this has brought up a lot for me and I'll be back when I can process it, Lyn, Tootie, tennis, pressing I feel like a big baddie here...brb x

I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 3/27/2008 1:55 AM (GMT -7)   
First panic attack...I was driving up to traffic lights which were at the top of a hill (some 20 years ago - when my son was only about 7 yrs old and in the car with me at the time)..when suddenly I couldn't breathe, and wanted to get out of the car immediately..sheesh...somehow I managed to get thru the lights and around the corner and pull over...I was a wreck...my son was fantastic..I remember him saying, 'Mum, you're not well you've gotta see the doctor' (bless him) and I remember saying the standard answer.."I'll be fine" (why do we say this lol)..and him saying 'No mum..you've gotta go to the doctor"
The truth of it was my marriage was falling apart...and life was kinda messy...I did seek help, meds and councilling..and my marriage did fall apart eventually..but still here to tell the tale thank goodness..and yes sometimes the old anxiety kicks in and yup I still go thru a bad patches but I know that I will be ok...just need a helping hand every now and then.
Maree
 'Raindrops on roses..'


Aussieangel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 3/27/2008 2:49 AM (GMT -7)   
I've had a few but had been panic free for a couple of years when bang just over 2 years ago we were in the car going to the BILs and I was looking up his address. I looked up and thought where am I what's going on. I was filled with fear and this lasted most of the afternoon. It was my first panic attack which had feelings of disrealment.. It's been 2years now and still counting and hoping to find the right treatment.

boxcastle
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 3/27/2008 3:38 PM (GMT -7)   
i remember mine. I had been pretty badly sexually abused for about 2 years by a family friend, and when i was about 9 i finally told my parents and they sorted it all out for me. Even though my parents were so great about it, i held a lot of guilt and thought i was disgusting for what had happened. I told a friend i used to play out with all about what had happened but i guess she didn't belive me, and then out of nowhere a few days later she asked my mum straight out if the man had abused me. I was just over come with panic because i guess i felt so guilty and bad like i shouldn't have told more people, i literally just RAN out of the house. It hit me the same as it does now, and the rest of the day i felt completely washed out and tired and sick and just had to go to bed.

Tizz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/27/2008 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi
 
New to the panic board but certainly not new to panic :(
 
I didn't even remember my first panic attack. Was reading through some old diaries a few years back and came across an entry in one from 1988. I was 15 & I'd gone to a local disco with some friends one night. It was really really crowded, although that's something I'd not ever had a problem with before. I suddenly came over all hot and nauseas. I rushed to the bathroom where I felt all faint and collapsy. I had no idea what was happening. I just had to get out of there and get some air. I went straight home and felt really wobbly for a few days afterwards.
I can't believe that I had NO recollection of this. It was only reading it post them recurring all these years later that i now know what happened that night. And for no apparent reason. I sure as heck couldn't forget the next one that occured some 12 years later. If only, cos the fear kept them coming and coming and here I stand (or teeter) today :S

ladybug44r
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 3/27/2008 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all I'm new to this group.

My first attack was when I was 16. My mom worked at a bar and because they served food I was allowed there. Plus it was way back when. I'm 47 now.

Anyways, I was there with my mom and she left me to go out with her b/f. I was left with the owners son. Nothing happened between him and I, he was like an older brother. Well mom was gone all night. I slept next to the kitchen stove since I was so tiny. Those were the days. He slept on the pool table in the next room. It turned into morning and mom never came back. I could hear my dad yelling and banging on the door. When the guy opened the door for my dad, he started asking me questions. Well I paniced and the next thing I knew I was in the car and headed to the hospital. When dad saw that I was awake we turned around. He asked if I was going to school. I told him no I was going to bed. I should have goe to school cause mom's clothes were out on the front yard. They made up but I had a lot of problems after that with panic attacks.

I now only have them once in awhile. But I also learned alittle on how to control them. 1 I don't eat fried foods and if I do I only eat alittle. I have to stay away from anything that lays heavy on my stomach like whole milk that will sit them off.

Roni
DX Fibro 12/31/07   Guess I can put the rest dx
PSTD  Bi Polar 2/04  Depression most of my life  IBS
RX Amitriptylin 25mg
 
God gives doesn't give us more than we can handle. So this too shall pass.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/28/2008 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   
THANKS to all of you great ppl that have shared and
sweet megs you are NOT a baddie ............when you are ready you know we ( I ) will be here ..........

Many of you with your stories WILL at least help ONE person per post believe me ........that is what this is all about and I really thank each of you for baring your inner souls..it takes alot out of you but it gives alot to someone else ..in the end.....

Luvs to all

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


ladybug44r
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 3/28/2008 10:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Lyn it took me many years to figure out how to control mine.
I would have them so bad years ago driving down the road to work in Ca. that I would have to call my boss to let him know I wouldn't be at work.
Then in 92 I moved to Ky and had them even worst for 3 years I was confined to my house unless old b/f was around me or my children.
Roni
DX Fibro 12/31/07   Guess I can put the rest dx
PSTD  Bi Polar 2/04  Depression most of my life  IBS
RX Amitriptylin 25mg
 
God gives doesn't give us more than we can handle. So this too shall pass.


Pressing
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 3/28/2008 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I though I was all done with my attacks, it had been years since I had one. But just recently I began attending counseling to deal with childhood sexual abuse that I had kept to myself.
Anyways, I am a nursing student and I just started clinicals recently. I was in the room by myself with a patient, getting ready to take vital signs and all of a sudden I felt really queezy; I have had that feeling before, felt very clammy...I started to panic and thought to myself, I can't flip out or pass out in front of this patient, I have to keep my cool.
Since I had passed out in the past, I knew what it felt like. So I pretended I dropped something on the floor and took my time getting up knowing that I needed to get some blood to my head so that I don't pass out. It worked, I remained queezy for awhile but managed to finish the day out. Perhaps part of it was nerves. Just glad its over.

Pressing
Depression, PTSD
 
"Courage is not the absence of fear, its the ability to look fear in the eyes"
"I have depression, depression doesn't have me"


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/28/2008 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Roni
I hear ya and thanks for sharing you will really help someone with your posts as do all the others that tell about their first time ...that had to have been Hades at its worst I am so sorry

Pressing
YOU did exactly right in how you managed that one
Good luck in Nursing
It was my life for 30 plus yrs......
yeah
KUDOS my friend


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


tiaeight
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 4/5/2008 9:33 PM (GMT -7)   
My first onset was last year, on Mothers Day.  We were boating and pulled up on a beach.  I remember being real nervous about pulling up on the sand and then suddenly I got light headed.  I couldn't breath and I thought that I was having a stroke or heart attack.  Went to the hospital and after several tests, they said nothing was wrong.  Although my heart beat soared to 156 beats per minute..

wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 4/6/2008 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes, I do.  It was 26 years when I was 17.  I had just been in a serious head-on car accident and was on the way home from the hospital.  My dad was driving us home and when we got to a spot where we could take an alternate route home (to avoid where the accident happened) he asked me if I wanted him to take this alternate route.  I thought about it and decided no, that I needed to confront this and go through the spot where the accident took place.  At that moment I felt this was the thing to do.  Well, I probably should have thought about it thoroughly because I ended up  in panic attack as we approached where the accident took place.  My dad had to get to a safe spot to pull over and he helped me through it.
 
I think part of the reason this attack place when it did is because 3 weeks earlier, my family had experienced another trauma.  There was a fire in my house that destroyed the garage, shed, part of our kitchen and part of my bedroom.  I think the accident was just the final straw for me.  Needless to say, that was a terrible summer, but the outpouring of concern and help throughout our very little town was comforting and needed.
 
Since then I have had many panic attacks for various reasons and it's just a part of my life.  I wish I could control it, but it's hard to do that.
 
A great thread Lyn, thanks for letting us share.
 
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

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