I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time and I feel so bad for Cait. She's such a beautiful, bright girl - I totally understand why you feel the way you do. She should be happy with life right now, instead of having to deal with so much already in her young life. But I am happy to hear that she despises booze and isn't doing drugs. You have definitely taught her well and I'm proud of you. You are a great inspiration of how to be strong during tough times, but as you know there are times when we all need to lean on someone and vent. As you know and as you have told so many others, vent away any time you want. We love you and care about you. I just wish there was something I could do to help you and Cait, but just know that I'm here whenever you need to talk - we can chat away.
Love ya sis,
Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders
Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can! http://www.healingwell.com/donate
I am in no way a medical professional, any advice given is purely on an amateur level.
Please seek professional advice from your doctor.
Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety
Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lunesta, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium
“People have two ears and one mouth for a reason; you need to listen twice as much as you talk.”
Top Fuel pro - Bob Vandergriff, Jr
You're welcome - any time you know that. I hope the laughter is a great sign; she certainly needs it and I hope the family time will help. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
Luv ya sis,
This is your vent so I will try to give you some hope. As a parent, I know that there is nothing more difficult and upsetting to me than when my children experience pain. I want to stop it; do anything I can to keep them from suffering and feeling pain and it can be incredibly hard to be present, listen, and be compassionate without getting angry and wanting to jump into revenge mode.
As you know many a teen has been confronted with these issues of illness, death and fear of being alone , and many others issues, head on. With limited life experience and emerging skills for coping with overwhelming feelings, the sudden death of a loved one can be confusing and disorienting for a teen. In Cait's world she has lost her father, and grand mother and now grandfather is so ill. Her fear of course is losing you.
You are there for her and telling her that you love her is the best comfort but making promises she knows you can't keep will tip her deeper into depression.
If you can get her to share what it is that she is most afraid of with out you maybe the 2 of you could help each other.I know the anger of losing a father when I was 39 years old and it was only 10 days that I had to learn of the truth until he was gone. I know the unrelenting anger that goes with losing a child. Why me, I guess I had no vote in the matter and no I was not in anyway prepared.
Keep working with Cait and know you can hold her, love her and shed tears for her pain, but she will get through her pain as you have done.God Bless
"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing. "Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are""Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve""Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."
I hope today is a better day for you my dear Lyn...extends arms for big hug xx
Tennis, thankyou for sharing that story, grief is such an overwhelming emotion, I'm glad you are drawing strength and using it to support us xxx
Post Edited (anastasia01) : 3/31/2008 9:19:02 PM (GMT-6)
Dear Big Sis,
I hope you are ok today and that you are spending some time with Cait. You are one special Mom and I know Cait loves you and is just going through a rough time.
"Whether our relationship is strained or easy, hostile or amiable, we need our mother if only in memory or fantasy, to conjugate our history, validate our femaleness, and guide our way. We need to know she’s there if we stumble, to love us no matter what, to nurture the child that resides within us even now without infantalizing us."
This is you Big Sis and you do the job with love and sacrifice no matter what the cost is to you. I wish my Mother would have been like you. I would have been truly blessed.
Hugs to you and Cait.LoveLil Sis
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 4/6/2008 3:01:46 PM (GMT-6)
You know I am here and I am praying for you. I know the fear you went through with Cait in the ER. She has angels watching over her. And most of all she has you.
Your health is number one along with your family. Rest my friend.
Weekend Warrior Princess
Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea
Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium