Do you ever just cry

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nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 3/30/2008 4:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Do you ever just cry because the stress and worry is just too much?  I am right now...  I feel so guilty that my children have to see me go through periods of fear, anxiety, and depression.  I'm so tired of feeling overwhelmed... I can't hibernate because people need me but my days are filled with this horrible sense that everything is awful...  It's been a full month since I've been able to get out of my own head and I can't take it anymore.
 
I had an MRI on Friday to see why I'm dizzy all the time - they'll probably tell me I have MS or a brain tumor - I've almost got myself convinced.

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 3/30/2008 8:38 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Nyliz:  I am so sorry for everything that you are going through right now. It sounds like you are both physically and emotionally tired and really do deserve to have some good cries to get it out of you.  I have also gone through many periods of time where I have found myself crying over everything, not wanting to get out of bed, and worrying about how I am effecting my two daughters.  Usually I go through this when I am overwhelmed with so many responsibilities, have not been feeling well or am just emotionally exhausted.  It is a vicious cycle that is very hard to stop once it starts.  But despite this you need to realize that it can and will stop.  Think about setting one or two tiny goals for yourself each day.  Think of some small tasks to do and ignore all the rest.  Take your time to build up your strength.  This can be quite difficult to do but you will eventually start to feel some small satisfactions - which are positive building steps.  Yes, your children may see that life is difficult for you at the moment, but they will also see Mom not giving up.  You will be starting small but you will be starting and I think that in itself is a really good thing to see.  Mom not giving up - this will help all of you start to feel a little better.

Don't be too hard on yourself right now.  If you had a broken leg you would be in a lot of pain and start very slowly.  Your emotions are just as important and should be addressed in the same caring manner.  And in regards to your physical fears, just take one step at a time.  Remember when we don't feel well we always think and fear the worst.  Its a good thing you are working with the doctor.  Let him address your fears and concerns for you.

I'll say some prayers for you tonight.  Just hang in there because you can and will start feeling better.  We have all been where you are now.  Please feel free to post anytime because everybody here cares and truly can empathize with all your thoughts and fears.

Cass



nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 3/30/2008 8:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Nyliz, big hugs to you...it sounds like you are going through a really horrible time right now.  Cass gave some really great advice; be gentle and kind with yourself at this time and PLEASE don't feel guilty...you are certainly not doing this on purpose, nor would you ever want to see someone else beat themselves up for it I'm sure. 
 
Try not imagine the worst about the MRI (easier said than done I know)..but the anxiety of the worst case scenario will probably only make you feel worse.  It's awful to be "stuck in your head" always fearing the worst....I think it's such a lonely place to be.  I'm not surprised you want to hibernate..what a comforting idea (smiles).
 
Have you been through periods of this before or is it the first time?? I'd love to give some suuport or offer advice, but I'm afraid I don't know a whole lot about your background...I do understand how it is to just cry at EVERYTHING and feel that nothing good is going to happen. You can get through it with help, support and time.  Sorry I can't help more at this stage lovely nyliz xx
I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 3/31/2008 4:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi nyliz,
 
You have already gotten some great advice and I don't really have anything other advice to offer to you.  But just crying is good for the soul, sometimes that's what we need to do.  It doesn't have to be because of any one thing in particular - just cry; it can be good therapy for you.  As Meg said, be kind and gentle with  yourself - give yourself a break and just go through the motions of what you need to do for now.  Cass really nailed it when she said to just start out slowly and your children will see that mom is hurting right now, but she isn't giving up.  I think it's important for kids to see that life isn't always fun and games and that sometimes people hurt.  I also think it's important for kids to see that we can't just give up and run away - they are seeing you persevere through a very difficult time.  You may want to hibernate, but you're not and through this, your children will learn to be strong because they see mom doing it.  You may not think that you are "doing right" by your children right now, but you are - you haven't given up!  Just take things an hour at a time, then you'll be able to move to a few hours at a time, and then to a day at a time and so on.  As time goes on you will become stronger and stronger.
 
As far as the MRI, try not to worry too much right now - wait and see what the doctor has to tell you when the results are in.  Imagining the worst is only going to make you feel worse than you already do.  I know how hard it is not to worry or to convince yourself that things are to be bad, but try to keep yourself focused on something else - even if for only a few minutes at a time.  Do you have a hobby or something that you like to do that can keep you occupied?  When you find out the results of the MRI, please let us know what it is.  We care and want to be able to support you.  Please post any time as we truly want to know how you are doing.
 
Take care,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am in no way a medical professional, any advice given is purely on an amateur level.

Please seek professional advice from your doctor.

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety

Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lunesta, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium

“People have two ears and one mouth for a reason; you need to listen twice as much as you talk.”

Top Fuel pro - Bob Vandergriff, Jr


nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 3/31/2008 5:09 AM (GMT -7)   
You guys really are the best!!! I was feeling pretty hopeless last night and seem to have had periods of that throughout the last month... My first panic/anxiety experience happened in Sept of 99 and it really changed my life. Once you know what it feels like to be that afraid and hopeless, you just never seem to forget it, ya know!!! I seem to go through these periods of extreme a/p/d at least once every 3 or 4 months (really weird).

I really appreciate all of your responses, as usual your kindness is so reassuring. I have four children and a full time job (I took today off :) and a husband who hasn't the faintest idea "what's wrong with me" I'm going back to college to finish my BS degree in May and am in a VERY expensive wedding in Sept. (my little bro). I started a new job at the end of December and my husband took a new job last October that has him gone four evenings a week. When I put these things down on paper it seems like "well that's obviously the reason that I feel so crappy" but I've always had a habit of overextending myself and so this just seems like par for the course ya know.....

Almost done with my ramble... I forgot to mention that my hubby is "trying" to stop drinking alcohol because he has a bit of a habit of consuming is excess which causes problems in our relationship, he and I both quit smoking the last week in February and we are having some major remodeling work done to our kitchen that we really probably shouldn't do right now because I'm not really sure that we can afford the new monthly payment on top of everything else... (((breath)))

Do you think that all of this is maybe contributing to my anxiety??? because it just seems like everyday normal life to me.

Liz

wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 3/31/2008 5:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow nyliz, you sure have a lot going on - no wonder you're anxious!!  I'm no professional, but in my opinion I would say that you have good reason for your anxiety level being high.  You not only have a lot going on, but some big things as well - four children, school, quitting smoking, remodeling, worrying about that extra payment, jobs, etc etc. 
 
Are you doing anything for yourself that can help you to relax a little bit?  I sure hope you are, because it sounds like you need it.  Please keep posting as this will help you too and we want to support you during all of this.
 
Take care,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am in no way a medical professional, any advice given is purely on an amateur level.

Please seek professional advice from your doctor.

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety

Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lunesta, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER, Valium

“People have two ears and one mouth for a reason; you need to listen twice as much as you talk.”

Top Fuel pro - Bob Vandergriff, Jr


nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 3/31/2008 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Wen, sometimes it's hard to put things in perspective until someone else looks at your situation.  I just want to be able to handle anything that comes my way without having a meltdown.  I get so mad sometimes because I can't seem to do that....  I forgot to mention in my previous post that my doctor has also decided to wean me off Zoloft to transfer me over to Celexa...  he had me split my dose in half one night and then take nothing the next night, this was to go on for a week but I got so sick after the 2nd day that I decided to just take the "half dose" amount for a week. I am at the point now where I'd like to see what life would be like without taking anything for a little while.  It's been 7 years since I've been on antidepressants and I'd kinda like to know who I am without them.  Do you think this is a bad idea?
 
Liz

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/31/2008 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   

nylz,

Oh yes, many times I just cry........the stress of trying to stay in the moment and not let the anxiety take over can be overwhelming.  I am feeling that way today as I see my Pdoc and just the thought of talking with her raises my alert zone into the orange level.............just like our homeland security.  She makes me feel afraid as I know what she will say to every suggestion I may make..........NO.

Give yourelf a big hug and know you are simply wonderful.

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Tootiebug58
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 378
   Posted 3/31/2008 12:39 PM (GMT -7)   
nyliz
Sorry you are going thru all of this. I know too well how worrisome it can be and waiting for test results. I have suffered from anxiety and panic for manyyyyyyyyyy years. It started first with dizzy spells. I have been able to control my anxiety with meds, but when it gets out of hand, the dizziness
is the first symptom I get before the anxiety hits.
Try not to worry okkkk. You will be in my thoughts and prayers hon
Tootie
-------------------------------------------
anxiety/panic attacks...osteoporosis....Fibro
celexa, xanax


nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 4/1/2008 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Tootie and Kitt, It's always comforting to know that other's understand how I feel.  No one in my live (save one) has any idea what I'm going through.  And believe it or not the one friend I have who stuggles with A/P avoids me like the plague when I am in a rough spot because listening to me always sets her anxiety into motion...
 
The dizzyness has always been a major issue for me when anxious, I have a hard time differentiating between whether I'm dizzy because I'm anxious or anxious because I'm dizzy.  It's been going on for so many years that I think that's part of the reason why I am so worried about the results from this MRI.  I start thinking that maybe I've been blaming a major health issue on anxiety all this time.
 
Anyway  - Love you guys!!!
 
Liz

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 4/1/2008 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   

Nyliz, it's so scary when your body doesn't do what it should, and it's upsetting when no-one will listen.  I hope you feel that you can always vent/chat/let us know what's going on with you xx

It's a shame that your A/P friend won't discuss this stuff with you, I guess she needs space when anxious like I do..maybe if you can show how wonderful, open and supportive you are being then she will come to you with time sweetie xx

(((hugs)))

 


I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 
 
NervyMeg


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/3/2008 3:39 AM (GMT -7)   
I have literally done nothing BUT cry for days been so worried about my daughter and now both of us sick
Missing all my family here
Feeling like Crud for sure
Fingers all swollen sore from head to toe and nothing helps

I really cried when I saw Cait looking so sad scared and helpless in the hospital bed and her Mommy could not just put a band aid on this boo boo

Have a great wknd all

Luvs and huggles
Lyn N Cait
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 4/3/2008 1:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Lyn I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now... please find comfort in the HW friends who love you!! (((HUGS))))


Liz

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 4/3/2008 11:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Lyn, sweet angel, I'm so sorry you are going through this most difficult of times....my heart goes out to you and cait...I am sending caramel sundaes via express mail for you both..xxxxxmmm

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Weekend Warrior Princess

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