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Cosmo girl
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 4/9/2008 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   
 I often ask myself why this had to happen to me. I am a healthy 26 year old woman, two wonderful kids, wonderful husband....a stress-free life!! But somehow I have anxiety! I am a full-time student as well but I really like school. I started feeling this way in Aug. 2007, 1 month before I got married. I thought that over time I would get better but I just seem to get worse. So that's when I finally got on medicine almost 3 weeks ago. I do feel better than I did a month ago but I just get so angry that this is happening to me. Why did this happen to me? What could I have done different? Could I have done anything different? I try not to think about it and go about my day like normal but it's so hard. I have headaches, body aches, dizzy spells, panic attacks.....not daily but once is too much for me! The first time I had a panic attack I thought I was having a heart attack. I am just having a really hard time trying to just "live with it". I know I can't let it consume my life but enough is enough. I don't know if anyone has an advice for me because I could sure use it. I am new to this disorder and don't know how to deal with it and not lose my mind! I have two little girls to take care of so I have to pull it together.

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 4/9/2008 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   

Cosmo girl,

 

I'm sorry that you're going through such rough feelings right now.  I don't think any of us knows why anxiety will all of a sudden strike out of the blue.  For me, the first panic attack occurred for no apparent reason while I was travelling across state.  In light of your post, I look back at that as like having had a car wreck at that instant, rather than a panic attack.  What I mean is, when there don't seem to be any visible causes, anxiety basically is like having some life-changing accident happen without warning.  There probably isn't anything you could have done differently to prevent it, or to protect yourself.  All we can do once it does strike is try to recover and rehabilitate the way someone physically injured in an accident would.  That means giving ourselves lots of patience and time, and realizing that we're doing the best we can, even if it doesn't feel like enough.

 

You're going to get through this.  All you can do is take it a tiny bit at a time and recognize and applaud those baby steps that get you closer to how you really want to feel about your life. 

percycat


Twiggygal
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 924
   Posted 4/9/2008 10:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Cosmo- i ask "why me" all the time..

I guess I can't give you an answer cuz I can't give myself an answer...

at least we are both grown adults who can get help whereas I remember having panic attacks very young at 8 and no one would help me and i had no one to turn to...

but now things are better in that respect...

Baby steps is all I can say... I'm sure you can pull through this and make a full recovery. :)

TG~
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
 
RX: Lorazepam (1 MG - 2 mgs a day), Lexapro (20 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines
 
I'm PREGNANT! 22 weeks along!
 
IT'S A GIRL!
 
 
Help support Healing Well and its' forums and chatrooms... donate today.... http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 4/10/2008 12:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Cosmo girl, I've spent a lot of time asking why me? I eventually realised, well, Why not me? It's a devil of a thing to live with, especially when you are new to it...now without sounding like a granny (yes i've been living with this 15 years) I now mostly say..Ok so this is me, what can I do to make it better today?
 
I tried railing against it, fighting it, ignoring it, drowning it out with meds (and alcohol I'm ashamed to say) and none of it works.  So I've had counselling, therapy, taken my meds and done relaxation, and you know what's great I do have really great days/weeks/months when it's not even an issue for me.
 
That said...I really feel for what you are going through..it's the pits isn't it? Hopefully your medication will start taking effect soon, and if it doesn't please go back and tell your doc.
 
As Twiggy said, it's about babysteps..be kind to yourself, be gentle, don't push too hard and please don't ever feel guilty or ashamed..you did not ask for this. I wish I could be more help and I don't mean to sound preachy, but it really does get better when you take some positive steps (and sharing here is a great one).  I wish you all the best Cosmo Girl..try not to feel too beaten down..this is tough, but we will help xx
Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 4/10/2008 4:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Cosmo Girl,

I sympathize, I was totally "normal" for 30 years then WHAM! Luckily I don't have any kids to worry about. It does get better. If only we could find a way to make it go AWAY.

TwiggyGal, I just read your tag line, Congratulations on Your pregnancy! Let us know how you do! This is something I am very curious about with this problem and all the medication. It would be nice to have a first hand account :)

K

wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 4/10/2008 6:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Cosmo girl,
 
I am so sorry that you are having a rough time and wish I could make it better for you (that's the mom in me coming out - LOL).  I too have asked myself "why me" so many times I've lost count.  It's not easy living with this and it can be very difficult to not let it consume our lives.  My suggestion to you is to take things one day at a time and taking small babysteps.  I am reminded to do this quite often because I tend to try to take giant steps because I want to beat this thing now.  But those giant steps don't work for me - it sets me back and I end up feeling horrible about myself.  So we all have to remember - babysteps. 
 
Getting married is stressful, no matter how much you love him - it's stressful, no matter how you look at it.  School can also be stressful, no matter how well you are doing and it sound like you are doing well with everything.  But just remember these things can be overwhelming at times.  Have you talked with your doctor about any of this?  Maybe that's the first step for you to get a little bit of help and maybe even meds and/or therapy will help.  No matter what you decide to do, we will be here to help you through this.  Just keep posting and we will be here to support you- we all understand what you are going through.
 
Take care and here's some (((((hugs))))) for you,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am in no way a medical professional, any advice given is purely on an amateur level.

Please seek professional advice from your doctor.

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea

Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium

“People have two ears and one mouth for a reason; you need to listen twice as much as you talk.”

Top Fuel pro - Bob Vandergriff, Jr


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/10/2008 1:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Cosmo,

I was fine for years and wham.  One of the first questions I asked my therapist with huge tears running down my face was "Why Me?'  He looked me straight in the eye and said "Why Not You?"

Whao, I shut up and thought, he is right, I am not special, I can come down with any disorder but never did I dream I would be sitting here 28 years later still dealing with it. 

You will get better and have many many good days, then the bumps in the road happen but you will get over those bumps because you want to.

Stick with us and we will help you.  Bless you.

Hugs

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 4/14/2008 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   

Here's the thing 'Cosmo girl'...you're still alive..you are still surrounded by all the beautiful things that you have mentioned in your post..nothing has really changed except that you got a big fright - as we do when panic attacks set in.

You have sought help and got meds and what's more you have reached out for help here at HW where there are lots of us that have gone or going thru the same thing as you...you are very brave, well done! tongue

Now for the next step, how about seeking some form of counselling..sometimes in our lives we have swept a couple of problems under the mat, thinking we would deal with them later or just brushed them aside at the time - not realising that our subconscious has been holding on to these unfinished pieces of biz, and over time they have been getting bigger and bigger...and that's when panic attacks jump and bite us when we are totally unaware..they surely are a wake up call!

Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

Maree


 'Raindrops on roses..'


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/15/2008 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Cosmo Girl,

How are you doing?  I hope you will pop in and let us know as we care about you. A new day has....come :)
Hugs
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 4/17/2008 6:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cosmo Girl,

Just checking in to see how you're doing.

percycat

wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 4/18/2008 4:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning Cosmo Girl,
 
I'm just checking in with you to see how you are doing?  I hope all is well.  When you get a chance, please let us know how things are going for you.
 
Take care,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am in no way a medical professional, any advice given is purely on an amateur level.

Please seek professional advice from your doctor.

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea

Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium

“People have two ears and one mouth for a reason; you need to listen twice as much as you talk.”

Top Fuel pro - Bob Vandergriff, Jr


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/18/2008 8:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Cosmo Girl.........

It is finally Friday............I hope your feeling better and we would love to see a post from you so if you feel like it talk to us whenever your ready.

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Top Gunner
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 4/19/2008 7:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Cosmo Girl,

Yes, I asked myself that question about 11 years ago when I had my first anxiety attack.  It has taken sometime, but I realize that my anxiety is a part of me, just like my personality.  While I am fine and can function most of the time, anxiety is something that I have to deal with from time to time.  I recently had an anxiety attack while being overseas in China which forced me to come home early, but instead of asking why did this happen to me, I ask, what can I learn from it?  After much reflection, I have concluded that it is not a good idea for me to go overseas, because if I get an anxiety attack in a foreign land, it only exacerbates my anxiety.

As for yourself, I think that it's great that you can join a safe place (this forum) to share your struggles.  However, in addition to the forum, if you haven't done so already, I would suggest that you talk to somebody you trust and will not judge you.  Perhaps it is a close friend, maybe your pastor, or a close relative.   I find that the direct person to person communication to be very therapeutic.  As I said before, I returned home early from China just recently.  Upon returning, I immediately contacted my friend who is also a counselor and shared my experience.  He already knows that I am prone to anxiety, and after having talked about it a number of times, I am on my way to being healed.

I pray and hope that you are doing better and that you respond to let us know how you are doing.
 
God Bless,
 
Top Gunner

chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/21/2008 3:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Cosmo Girl, I ask from a Dad's standpoint, "what could I have done different?" Don't beat yourself up for one thing. My Father had this problem when he reached his 30's and it seemed to come out of the blue. Now my daughter who is just turning 13 is having the same issue. She had an accident on the trampoline and lost her breath. She then had a severe panic attack which she did not recover from until the doctor gave her prozac. She still is having issues sleeping and frequently comes to snuggle with me during the day when she feels uncomfortable. This sounds like a problem that you are never really cured from, but that you learn to manage. I pray that I can help my daughter to that point. I have no doubt that you will get there. You sound very strong (like my Father). Everyone is giving you good advice in that you should take your time, not put too much upon yourself so you induce the anxiety by accident, and take baby steps. Seems like the only people who keep weight off are the ones who do it with purpose and do it gradually. Maybe that is how we will get there too. You will be in our prayers. Chris

boogiemaster
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 4/22/2008 5:25 AM (GMT -7)   

This is my theory of why we have panic attacks.

We have a build up of stress that been building up over time. The only way for our body to release that stress is through a full blown panic attack.

Most people have events that trigger a panic attack, doing certain things or going to certain places makes them and causes them to have another panic attack.

Your in town and have a panic attack for the first time? What if I go to town again and have another one ?

So you tend to stay away from areas where you had your first panic attack.

Most people think they will get another and it ends up being psychological so it ends up running your life!

Before you had your panic attack you could do anything go anywhere? But because your scared to have another one its ruining your life.

A panic attack feels scary but after you’ve had a few your still alive J


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/22/2008 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I believe ppl that have Anxiety and Panic are some of the most Intelligent,Strongest & Caring individuals I have ever known..........
We over analyse yes for sure.
We have to find ways to fight this DD
We need to carry on no matter how rough we feel or the angst we are having

WE understand what others are going thru and
NO matter how bad we are having a day
WE are always here for others and to help them thru if possible

WE have lived some horrid lives and gone thru really rough times each of us yet it has really made us stronger IMHO at least I know it has me ..........

I agree"why not me" and I also agree whole heartedly that you have to take "Baby steps" as Wen said ..it may take longer but you STILL reach your goal or destinations.........

I honestly believe if I had not had to battle this DD for over 30 plus yrs I would not be getting thru alot of what I have gotten thru the last couple of yrs plain and simple ........
I would not be the strong person I am when I am needed to be ...........
Thats my opinion and I am sure some will not agree but thats okay as we are allowed to have our own opinions here....

Hades yes....Why not me ..........

Take care all and have a good day,remember those baby steps add up
Lyn
Sis
Big sis
S.I.S..
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 

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