Help for my daughter please

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chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/21/2008 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
  My daughter is almost 13 and had an accident on the trampoline a couple weeks ago. She lost her breath and then suffered her first full panic attack. She stated that she had been having anxiety and fear of death for several years prior and never told me. I had experienced this through her Mom (my ex-wife) and it was very hard on our lives. I did not understand it with my ex and would become frustrated that she could not control her emotions. I have been very supportive with my daughter and took her to our family doctor (no help!) and then to a therapist who talked to her for 30 minutes, charged me $150 and gave us a note to take to our family doctor recommending prozac. The therapist wanted to see her for ongoing appointments but the fact that he had to look up the symptoms of panic attack to diagnose her did not bring me any comfort. It has been two weeks and she is still suffering from anxiety and fear of death. She is functional at this point but I am affraid that she will become dependant on prozac forever if she doesn't learn some coping skills or pursue a homeopathic remedy coupled with .....I don't know.... yoga, breathing excercises????? Any info would be appreciated. Chris

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 4/21/2008 12:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Chris,

Welcome!

First of all, I'm very glad that your daughter has told you about what she's been feeling. That can be a HUGE step for someone who suffers from anxiety. And especially talking about it with parents can be tough because it's easy to worry that they'll be disappointed, or that they won't understand how desperately you need help, etc. It's a big step for her to have taken, and it may have felt very risky, so be sure to offer her lots of praise, comfort and support for telling you.

If you're not satisfied with your doctor's and therapist's approaches -- I wouldn't be either, from what you describe -- please consider getting another opinion. You might want to check whether a different therapist actually specializes in panic and anxiety. Also, be aware that this may not be "fixed" quickly. If your daughter's been having these feelings for several years, lots of accompanying patterns will have formed too, and it will take a good bit of time for her to fight her way through the patterns as well as the anxiety that caused them.

Maybe medications will work best for her, or maybe coping techniques will, or other natural remedies. I know that different folks on this forum have different working solutions for their anxiety. A good team-up between doctor and therapist can decide that for sure.

Good luck to you, and please keep us posted!

percycat

chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/21/2008 12:37 PM (GMT -7)   
 I have alot of guilt feelings about her witholding her problems for so long until her major attack. I had made comments to her about her "crazy mother" in a joking sense many times before. Now I feel terrible that I trivialized her anxiety and made my daughter feel "crazy" too. My daughter lives with me and my wife (her step-mom) and she has a very stable environment. I would have never expected her to have the same problems through a biological connection.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/21/2008 12:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Chris
I feel like I wrote some of your post myself
My teen daughter has had a fear of death for many yrs but as they become older and reach puberty they seem to stop talking to US about everything it seems
My Cait would talk to Normalsnofun ( a mod here before and my adopted daughter) but would tell me nothing was wrong and to a couple of others here on MSN
She lost her bio dad at a young age then her grama and then my mom and now my dad just this past Thursday ( GMA MOm and Dad within 3 plus yrs
Cait has been to the hospital with panic attacks she is a straight A student very good with all she does is very kind and caring about others
BUT she hides her depression well ...or she did
NOW she is talking to me about it and to the doc she is on a beta blocker and is now on Xanax 1 mg a day half at am and other at night...........

I AM really glad your daughter is now talking to you about things and I agree with Percycat.........get another therapist if this one is NOT helping her........
I could also ask Cait to talk with her if you would like .......
You said some things but I am sure your daughter knows that you did not mean anything towards her.......
It sounds like she has a very good dad and I am so proud of you for reaching out for help for her.........
Glad you found us here at HW..........
PLZ stay with us

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/21/2008 1:06 PM (GMT -7)   
 Your daughter sounds quite a bit like mine. She is always on honor roll and is in the AG classes at her school. She is small for her age and is self conscious about that. She is very artistic and loves to design her own clothes and has just started making specialty soaps and selling them at school. She is probably the kindest heart I have ever known and I worry about others being mean to her sometimes. Luckily she doesn't have much of a problem with this yet! I am sure she would love to write to someone who understands! I will tell her about this site when I get home from work today.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/21/2008 1:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes they sure do sound alot alike .

Send me off an email and I will give you Caits MSN or email

Cait has alot going for her and many take advantage or did but she is starting to learn to stand her ground ....

You are a great dad

LYN

***Chris......I answered a post to you explaining that Brenna was not of age to be on HW yet..hmm it seems to have vanished**That is why I suggessted in the beginning that Cait and Brenna Converse thru email or msn......... yahoo.


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 5/9/2008 6:04:42 AM (GMT-6)


chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/21/2008 1:30 PM (GMT -7)   
 I will forward your daughter's email to my daughter. This way your daughter's email isn't posted here. Brenna will be thrilled!
 
**Chris...in your profile put your email and it will show in the envelope at the side this is for your protection and security( go back to control panel and hit edit profile/ put email in there....
PPL that are not members can get your email when you post it the way you did
if its in the envelope ONLY members can get it
Cait is laying down right now but I spoke with her and she is more than happy to speak to your daughter
I think in my heart alot of good may come of this
My email is in envelope at side under name  
I will check in the am as I am going to get a few more threads done and then make supper
Take care my friend..say hello to your family for us
Glad you are part of HW and this family
 
LYN

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 4/21/2008 2:39:15 PM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/21/2008 2:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Chris
Will check my emails and send you Caits info in the am so she and Brenna can yak it up
I know Cait will know where she is coming from...

Your friend

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
 
   
 
                   
 


chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/21/2008 2:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Lyn, I called Brenna and she is very excited to write to someone who understands what she is feeling. I changed the mail setting on my account. I didn't know this had to be done when I signed up. Thanks again, Chris

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/21/2008 2:30 PM (GMT -7)   
It doesnt HAVE to be done but it is better for your security to put it in your profile

Dont forget to email me k ...........
I will check in the am ...I am going to be up at 5:30 ......6 am ........
Going off to make supper
I live in Ontario,Canada..........
it is now suppertime

Be well my friend glad Brenna is excited............I think this will do them both some good ........

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/21/2008 3:12 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Chris,

This is Kitt and welcome to our wonderful family.  I think you got some great help from Lyn and you will soon find she is our resident angel and very knowledgable about teens these days.

I would like to see your daughter find a therapist that she can develop a trust relationship with and one that has some experience with working with teens.

The one you went to would not instill confidence in me either if he had to use reference materials to look up dx.

I am glad you have come here for caring and support.
Keep posting.

BLess you
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/21/2008 3:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you. I called my daughter this afternoon to tell her about this site and ask her if it was OK for me to tal to people about our problems. She was very excited to have people talking to her that are going through the same feelings. I appreciate your kind words and look forward to hearing from you again. Chris

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/21/2008 3:26 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Chris,

I kind of hang out here.................I have a daughter with anxiety too but she is not a teen.  I am the Grandmotherand yes and even great Grandmother  on our A & P site so I have seen a lot of people with anxiety and I know that your daughter will make it through.          

God moves in mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants his footsteps on the sea and rides upon the storm.
   
                                                                      - William Cowper


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 

Post Edited (stkitt) : 4/21/2008 9:07:48 PM (GMT-6)


chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/21/2008 3:41 PM (GMT -7)   
It is ironic that when we would talk about the rapture that we were making my daughter fearful at the same time. (We didn't speak of it alot) She was secretlt afraid that she would never have a full life and children of her own. What we saw as a beautiful part of our faith, she felt was impending doom. She loves the Lord but she was torn by her feelings of fear.

TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 4/21/2008 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Chris, I most wanted to write to you because I can understand where your daughter comes from. I am 16. I have hid my anxiety, panic, and depression from my parents, friends and family. My mom knows about my anxiety now because I take a med for it. But, we never discuss it. Although, she didnt tell my dad... Some of my friends know. I am also a straight A student, take AP classes, online classes, classes at our local college, and tutor! (which never helps anxiety!)

But, it all started some time ago. It got really bad about 11 months ago. I was very afraid but refused to tell anyone. So, I talked to my school counselor. She was the only one I talked to for a long time. I was afraid to talk about it. I couldnt. I went through alot. More than most could believe! But, I have gotten better! (Boy! It feels GREAT to be able to say that!) I actually just started getting better a few weeks ago. I take a mild med now for anxiety, which has helped some.

Its been a long journey and it isnt over! My parents and friends have spoken about things in front of me before... you shouldnt feel guilty because you didnt know. My parents say things all the time and it makes me feel really bad, but they dont know. It makes me mad at myself because I feel like its MY fault...if I would tell them, then they wouldnt say such things! So...

But, I wouldnt mind talking to your daughter if you want! I am always up for helping...or just talking! My email and everything is on my profile if she is interested.

I hope you have a good day! Take care!

"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/22/2008 4:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Chris...when you post plz make sure you post under your NN as ppl are or may get confused.
I know Brenns is your daughter and her nn is Insomniatic.....

Thanks my friend
Cait has emailed her already this am

Take care...LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/22/2008 5:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry, I am new to this and did not pay attention

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/22/2008 5:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I know my friend .thats why I let ya know
Not being grumpy with ya my friend just trying to help ya along here.........
nono I didnt mean to come off as as being witchy
Cait is really excited about talking to Brenna.......and about her fashion goals ........eamil has been sent already this am .....
yeah
Cait is home by 3 pm .........

Take care my friend and be well .

LYN    tongue

 


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/22/2008 8:10 AM (GMT -7)   
NO worries. I don't offend easily and I didn't take your comment in a negative way. Thanks to your daughter for reaching out to Bren. She is very excited!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/23/2008 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Cait has emailed Benna and is waiting for reply or there may be one there now she will check when she gets home
How are you doing my friend

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


chriscars
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 4/23/2008 11:51 AM (GMT -7)   
I asked Brenna this morning but she didn't have time to check this morning. She is always running late! She is going to check when she gets home today.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/24/2008 5:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Cait was happy to recieve Brenna's emails last night so they are conversing back and forth
Glad that this is going on.

Have a great day my friend

Lyn
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/26/2008 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so glad for that my friend
I have told Brenna to really open up to Cait about everything she is feeling
Cait has severe panic and anxiety along with deprssion
She like Brenna is a honors student
Type A personality I believe

I KNOW they will work this out dont worry my friend sometimes others here have had to help Cait out too..Mom just could not do what was needed.I believe it is because we are sometimes to close to the whole person and scenario ya know
Just my opinion.......
Take care my friend

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 4/26/2008 9:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Chris,
 
I'm a bit late in welcoming you to Healing Well and I apologize for that, I've been in kind of in my own lately and haven't done a whole lot with posts (bad me!!!).  I want to wish you a very warm welcome to this wonderful site.  As you already know, there are many, many supportive, helpful, and thoughtful people in this community. 
 
I am so happy that your daughter has finally confided in you about her anxiety, this is a scary place to be and she needs someone she can talk to about it.  I agree with others that a new therapist should be found - having to look up diagnosis just isn't right.   Your daughter needs a lot of support right now and it sounds as though she is getting it from and I applaud you for that.  You have gotten some great advice from members already and I don't really have anything to add to it; but I am super happy that Brenna has been able to connect with Lyn's daughter.  That should be a huge help to her.
 
Don't forget to check out the resources that are listed to the right - just click on the Anxiety - Panic link in the yellow box and it will take you to the list of resources.  Also, you can check out some of the old posts too.  Post any time you like to vent, ask questions, give/get support, etc.
 
Take care to both you and Brenna,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am in no way a medical professional, any advice given is purely on an amateur level.

Please seek professional advice from your doctor.

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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/26/2008 10:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello chriscars
I am sorry about Bren.
 
You have used Bren's  membership name to post this post.  Is there some way you can make sure you do not sign in under her name.  I assume you are sharing a computer  :-)  ?
 
Thank you in advance for your understanding of this request.
Kitt 
 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 

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