Post Edited (CassandraLee) : 4/23/2008 7:30:45 PM (GMT-6)
Cass, I can't make the decision for you here about taking the zyprexa, but if it was prescribed for you by a medical professional it is most likely safe. You may suffer some side effects initially, but if it helps then that would be worth it all IMHO.
It sounds like you are in a really stressful place right now..I know what it's like to be anxious and have studies looming..no fun at all. I'm sorry that you are being bounced around on meds..but please hold onto how well you have been doing in the recent past..you are obviously strong and working hard to achieve a happy balanced life. I hope your appt with your therapsit helps you make a desicion, and know that we are here to listen and help. please keep us updated and know that we care about you. my best wishes to you.
Wow, you got a lot of good advice and I know exactly how you feel. We are just opposite, I was just started on Lamacitil, took 12.5 mg yesterday and became very dizzy by evening and was walking into walls, did you have trouble getting onto the med?
The side effects of Lamacitil scare the heck out of me especially the rash that some people develop.
Zyprexa seems like a good alternative for you but if you can let go of the fear and get through the day, tomorrow you can meet with your therapist and talk through any other options.
Olivia gave you good info. The med companies will look at helping out when people cannot afford the meds. Please check into that option.
I am here for you as are all the other wonderful members. Please keep posting. Try breaking your study periods into one hour at a time and then take time out.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and respond to my post. I spent a lot of the night and early morning thinking about your suggestions and they truly helped.
I did make it through the night last night --and I did not take the Zyprexa. I met with my therapist (who is my prescribing A.P.R.N.) this afternoon and we had a long talk about it. I told her that I was really afraid of taking it after reading the enclosed pamphlet and hearing negative comments from others. She basically restated some of what she told me last time we briefly talked about it. In regards to my two concerns about weight gain and issues such as developing diabetes, she told me that the dose that she is prescribing for me (i.e. 5 mg / I need to cut the tablet in half) is so low that she does not feel that I should be concerned about it. She indicated that these warnings would become issues in those taking higher dosages. She reinforced that she thinks I need to be on it at this time and until the stress in my life (i.e. school, my children always getting sick and my family) begins to lessen. And that I should keep a positive attitude that when I graduate (and she is sure that I will graduate) things will get better. So, to wrap it up, I guess I just need to trust her on this and take the Zyprexa. ..I must admit that I am still scared of it but I trust her so I will. I'll take my first dose before I go to bed later tonight. And she has promised that as long as she keeps receiving samples of Zyprexa and Cymbalta (which I also take) from the sales reps she will keep providing them to me so that I don't have to worry about having to pay for them at this point.
In the meanwhile, she has instructed me to stay focused. I did not get any of my school work done last night and at 8:00 pm I am restarting now. It is all due late Saturday evening when my class ends. Based on forum remarks from the last few assignments, I am 97% positive that my professor has written me off; because out of 8 weeks, I have only handed work in from week 5. Thus, I need to get about 7 assignments done by noon tomorrow before I call her and see if I can convince her to accept it and possibly grant me an extension to Tuesday morning to finish it up. I'm afraid if I call her now before I hand work in she will pull the plug on me and I don't want to fail another class.
The thing is...I always get A's on the assignments that I hand in. I love analyzing and writing so I always do well. For me the whole problem is staying focused and not letting my depression and anxiety and financial issues get the best of me. Because when this happens I freeze and then fail and I cannot afford to fail this class again too.
Last..thank you Kitt for also responding back to me today. I was scared of Lamictal too because of the rash. But I was told that you need to start off at a low dosage and very slowly increase the dosage until you are where you need to be. Rashes have only been observed in the beginning stages and only when someone starts off with a high dose or increases very quickly. I get extremely dizzy when I take the Lamictal and it also makes me very drowsy. That's why I always took it at night.
I am so sorry that I wrote so much here. And if any of you are good about saying prayers...could you find a few seconds to ask for some inspiration and strength for me to get through the next few days??
Thanks for thinking of me and posting again. I was planning on posting soon but I've been feeling really down the last few days. I did not pass my class and this was my third unsuccessful attempt. My professor stated quite firmly that it was not fair to the rest of the class that worked so hard and in a timely manner to have my work accepted on the last day of or day after the end of the class. She continued on by explaining that we all make choices in life and my communication was quite poor or nonexistent - and she felt bad about it, but that was that. ..Talk about embarassing and feeling so entirely low. I mean, she was right. And that speech was something that I could see myself using on a class of ten year olds; but it was rightfully being directed at me. Thus, I have gone all out on a huge pity party for one!...... All in all, despite these many failures and my major depression which is not giving me any break at all, I am in the process of trying to pick myself up, brush off all the dirt, mud and embarrassment from myself and am heading back in. I have 2 classes left (this being one of them) before I can student teach for 4 months - which will bring me to a graduation date of the end of this coming December.
In regards to the Zyprexa, I did start taking it the other night like I said I would. It has not done anything terrible to me thus far like I was really afraid of. But I do feel funny/wierd in a lot of different ways. First, I am just wiped out. I am also on Cymbalta and Trazadone. I can't function with the Trazadone and Zyprexa together. So, I cut my Trazadone dosage by 3/4. Otherwise, I just can't get out of bed. My prescribing therapist is away on a conference this week but I'll touch base with her next week when I see her. Also, I feel a little Zombie like brain-wise, and a tiny bit shaky and I also feel like my body is going into superdrive. (brain is saying, I'm just too tired - go away and body is saying nope - get moving). ...Okay, maybe I do need a straight jacket here.
So that's that. I am in a tired, self-pitying, weeping mood right now. I promise to give the violin players a tip and send them home soon before I drag you down with me..
I really appreciate your caring and asking. It has been a very long time since someone has done that. ..I also feel guilty too as I know you must also have a lot going on in your own life that you would like to talk about. .....I'd like to also be there and help you too.
Cass, we all need those violin players sometimes..don't feel bad about it (in fact can I borrow them for a lil while??!)..I hope you are feeling better soon and that things work out with the zyprexa.
Give it some time, listen to your body and keep making your own decisions...
Is that a cello I hear??!
Hi percycat: Thanks for the follow-up below. I have now officially started the class over (once again) and tonight is the first deadline on my assignment. In fact, I have about four hours left. ..I have already started this earlier in the week, so I'm going to make some tea and get going.
I am still feeling a little zombie-like from the Zyprexa, but the thing that worries me the most is I have an insatiable (sp?) hunger. I'm ALWAYS STARVING! I'm trying to stick to high protein things but I need to do better. I'm scared about gaining more weight.
But all in all, things are getting back to a norm. Thank you so much for listening all the way through and being there to help me. My therapist told me today that I need to find a motivator to keep myself going (this may be the start of a new thread ).
Last, but not least in any way, is that I hope you are doing well yourself. I'll have to take a moment and see if you have posted lately.
Hurrah for you, don't give up on that class, just know you will get it done and try not to put a lot of pressure on yourself. I am glad your meds are working out better for you and choosing high protiein foods is a good idea.
Also watch your portion sizes when eating and try to do some form of exercise daily. I know your tired but attempt to try and if you can't do not beat yourself up.
You are a wonderful person.
Olivia & Kitt:
Thanks Olivia for letting me know that I am not alone in always feeling like I am starving. Last night, I literally had the shakes until I ate some Quaker hot cereal. I am trying to do better food choices but this scares me. I stepped on my scale yesterday and found a new time high of 180 pounds. I have gone from below 116 pre-depression to this. What have others done to deal with this? Any tips?
Kitt: You're right about the exercise. I have known this for awhile now. Starting Monday I am going to have to make myself do something. This scares me. Perhaps this is my anxiety talking, but I don't want to die of a heart attack or something.
Last, thank you for your encouragement and kind words. The only person I get these from are my therapist. I know she really does care but it meant a lot to hear it from you as well.
I am with you on knowing I should get out and move but I am just stuck and can't get the enthusiasm to do it. I used to walk 5 days a week. That was a long time ago.
Tell you what, you do it and so will I. We will do it together and your heart will be ok if you go slow, don't try to be a long distance walker in the beginning. You have a physician's clearance to exercise, correct?
Set up realistic goals, get the walking shoes on and go for a block or two until you feel you are safe to extend the distance.
I am with you on this one. OK. Starting day on Monday. We can do this.