Remember me all? I'm sufferin bad :'(

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 4/29/2008 11:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everybody how are you all. Me I've been suffering badly, very insecure/ocd about life... I went through a horrible time in March trying to get off Lamictal so I stayed back on it, then went on Risperdal 1.00mg for like the last 26ish days which hasn't helped me, so now I'm back on 125mg of Lamictal and the Risperdal I was downed to 1.00mg, now I'm on 0.75mg I'm trying to taper off it... any support all? I'm in dire need.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 4/30/2008 1:09 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Paulos, I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad.  Insecurity can make everything worse..and I know what OCD is like..arghhh!!

It can be really tough tapering off meds and even if you do it slowly and sensibly with doc's help it can make things seem worse for a while.  Be gentle with yourself and try and get us much support as you can from family and friends (and us of course!!).  Please keep us up to date and let us know how we can help.  Hang in ther Paulos, and welcome back.

Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 4/30/2008 6:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there Paulos
Sounds like you are really trying to sort your life out - takes courage I know..and once you get your meds right I know you are gonna feel a lot better :) sometimes it takes a while so you gonna need a little patience eyes
Meds are great but for them to work properly we sometimes need a little help to get our inner thoughts sorted, eg. journalling, counselling etc...I was wondering if you are doing something along these lines too?
 'Raindrops on roses..'
alias "Sista J."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 4/30/2008 7:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Paulos, are you in any form of therapy?
How old are you?
Have you been OCD your whole life?
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 4/30/2008 8:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Paulos,
I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time of things - meds as tough enough to deal with never mind having to taper off, then restart, etc.  You've gotten some good advice regarding journaling and counseling.  Do you have anything else that can help keep you busy, such as hobbies, visiting friends, family, etc?
Keep posting as we will help you as much as possible, glad to see you back!!

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

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I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.

Always seek professional advice from your doctor.

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Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium

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Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/30/2008 8:35 AM (GMT -6)   


I am so sorry your having a tough time and of course I remember you.  You have been working hard to get on the right meds. May I ask why your Pdoc took you off Lamictal? 

I so understand the insercurity issues and the changing of meds is an anxiety increaser for me.  Journaling is a good idea.  Here are some journaling tips.

1.Set your journal where you will see it everyday, i.e., on your nightstand, at your desk, where you have coffee. This will help to remind you to journal.

2.Part of keeping a journal, is not skipping a day, a week, and even months.

3.Writing a word, sentences, or paragraphs, journaling whatever you have to say that day is just the right amount to write.

4.Journal whatever is important for you to write about right then and there. I've journaled about a fabulous soup I ate, my concerns about a friendship, my dreams for the future.

5.Keeping your journal private. That can mean setting boundaries with those in your home, it may mean hiding it, or locking it away. You will have to make an individual decision about what that means to you.

6.Re-read your journal or not. Rarely do I re-read my journals. Some people always read what they have written. Again it is a personal choice.

7.Remember to use your journal for your benefit and well being, what ever that  means to you. Keeping a journal is a powerful tool that you can give to yourself everyday. Plus, this creates time for you every day.

I wish you peace and  please keep posting.
Gentle Hugs to you,


Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 4/30/2008 11:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi all thanks for the replies, some of the places I go I don't get replies to for a while. I keep a journal but I've been uncomfortable writing in it recently, very low self esteem/confidence lately, puked on the ride due to anxiety/fear after I went to a new doctor office... didn't do so well basically but I did ok at the office.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 4/30/2008 12:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Risperdal is really hard to deal with because it works so well.  You will now find out if you need it.   And you may lose some cognitiion(memory mostly) skills that the drug appears to help with.  That will also fade and then you will have to decide about taking it again.  I used it an teen, but developed prolactinoma  (I am very hormone sensitive and your prolactin levels go up oin antispychotics..)I wish I could continue with it.  I have really strong feelings about drugs I have researched.   I know it comes in doses of .5 and .25.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 4/30/2008 1:20 PM (GMT -6)   
You mean Risperdal would help me? For 25 days it didn't help me. Also all, I've been suffering with insecurity with myself... insecurity with not being able to read/memorize/understand certain things... not even being able to sleep in my own bed due to fear as well... it sucks.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 5/1/2008 7:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Paulos!

I'm sorry that things are so rough for you now. It's hard when you have to change drug dosages or even types of meds, because nothing gets figured out except by experimenting. I don't know anything about your particular meds, but I hope your doctor is able to give you good advice about how quickly you can expect to feel the effects, what types of side effects they may have and for how long, and what changing dosages may cause you to feel.

I know the insecurity is hard to handle at the same time as the med adjustments. Try to count those successes that you have when you have them. For instance, just posting here and asking for advice is a sign of success and security in my book, rather than the opposite. You knew you'd be safe opening up here, and you knew you'd likely get some support, information, and comfort. Recognizing that you need those things and acting to get them is a good thing. Certainly, if you're having trouble reading and remembering, that will make you insecure, but I look at them as just saying, you're having trouble with those things, not that you're a weak person. And sleeping in your own bed -- well, I went through about 4 weeks one time in my life where I'd lie in bed listening to the sounds outside all night because I was terrified of prowlers. If I weren't more scared of having prowlers around and not knowing they were there, I'd have been sleeping in the tub with a pillow over my head!

So hang in there. Congratulate yourself when you make it through even taking just one more step, and be patient with yourself when you have to struggle with other things.

Please keep us posted on how you're getting along with your meds. I sure hope they get straightened out for you soon!


Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/2/2008 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   
HI Paulos tongue  Yep sure do remember you
Long time no see
I am so sorry you are backstepping
I am sure you know that you can continue to come here and get all the care and support as you did before right

I have still many insecurities and I am fully aware of them but with CBT I am doing what I can to change them .and with valium for when needed
I am sure many have insecurities and you will get more posts about how they deal with them ........and how they make out with their ways of doing so

I am glad you came back here but I am so sorry you had to........

Hoping you will have medications straightened out asap
Didnt you have probs last yr with the same issue medications??>?......
KNow we are always here okay


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/2/2008 2:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for caring all. This is another one of my out of it days, feeling insecure and bad... I hate to keep posting it but it is. Uhh let's see what else did I have to tell you all... oh yeah ever since I was like 14-15ish *not when I was young and has passion for life* I've sometimes had a feeling of ocd/anxiety/depression combined which makes me feel like useless crap. So I'm just saying... that's one of my problems, along with everyday life problems.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

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