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ocean1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 707
   Posted 5/15/2008 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  Hi All.  I'm freaking and my anxiety is thru the roof and I just need to vent it out.  I have to have foot surgery next friday (both feet) and am freaking out.  My anxiety is in overdrive and so are all the thoughts running thru my head right now.  I've had surgeries before and was never this anxious or nervous or downright scared.  This one is really throwing me though.  I will be in a boot/cast for 3 weeks with stitches for 3 weeks on the bottom of left foot and some on right as well.  The good news is I get 2 1/2 weeks off work but at this point I think I'd rather work 24 hours a day than have surgery.  I have my xanax but it doesn't seem to be helping a lot.  I don't think it is the actual surgery that is scaring me so bad but the aftermath and inconvenience and the unknown if it will make things 100% better or worse.  There are so many "what ifs" going thru my head.  I just can't seem to focus on anything else but the surgery.  AAAAAHHHHHHHHH.  Okay, now that I've screamed I feel better.  How to cope?????!!!!!!!!!!  My Mom will be there with me the day of surgery and I will stay with Mom and Dad for a few days after but then back to my apartment as Mom will be having surgery 4 days after I do for something else.  It all seems like so much on my shoulders.  I want to be there for Mom and I'm feeling selfish and want her there for me and my Dad will have to take care of both of us.  Poor guy.  I am the caretaker in our family (me and Mom) and I have already told my sisters and brother that they are gonna have to pick up the load to help out since I won't be able to help Mom out.  They said they would but don't sound thrilled about it at all.  We'll see what happens.  Me and Mom usually take turns caring for each other when the need arises and it has never happened that both us of will have to depend on others instead of each other.  It's weird.  Anyway, I feel better now that I've talked out some of the thoughts racing at high speed thru my brain.  Thanks for listening.
Diane
Thou shalt smile and have a nice day.  It frustrates those who have other plans for thee.
________________________________________
Anxiety 2007; IBS 2004; Chronic Hives 2002.
Medications:  Allegra, Zantac, Xanax, Darvocet.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/16/2008 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Diane
BREATHE

OKay now firstly you have got to get thru this Anticiaptory Anxiety
a) surgery
b) after surgery
c) being looked after by someone other than your mom as in the past..d) Mom being looked after by someone other than you is bothering you ,........understandable :cant be helped..I know that both have looked after each other and have a connection and YOUR way of doing things BUT give dad a biot of leadway here lol
I have just hit on a few things here hun as I see as the things that are perhaps bothering you the most right now
KNOW the surgery will help you in the long run
Know that you will be looked after properly by someone........not like your mom would but still............Your dad
Know your mom will also have someone capable of looking after her as well..her Hubby

IT sounds like IT IS about time your siblings did do something to help out
I was in the same position for more than 10 yrs and just last month when Dad died they all just were interested in material things not him ya know
THAT is so wrong IMHO
When Mom was able she would be looking after me and vise versa
WE did both end up sick and out with pnuemonia yrs ago and Dad had to look after the 2 of us and he did extremely well
Give your dad a chance he might just surprise you tongue
And so may your siblings.....although mine didnt do squat..........

Keep coming and letting your vents out thats what we are here for ya know that and to try to help you get hru this
I will keep you and your Mom and even your Dad in my heart thoughts and prayers
You and your mom for the surgeries and your dad for the aftermath of them ........

Take it a day at a time thats all you can do and push those what if's to the side and dont give them POWER over you ............

TAKE back your POWER and let all know you ,mom and dad will be just dandy in no time

Take care.....

Email me if ya want to talk k
At side unde name........LYN.


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 5/16/2008 10:46:08 AM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/16/2008 1:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Diane,

Lyn has said it all so well.  I just want you to know that I am here and I am thinking of you.  I will keep you in my prayers and please know we care.

I had foot surgery one time, but only one foot.  I have no doubt that you will come through this fine.

Many hugs and it is ok to be afraid but remember you can do this.

Hugs

Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 5/16/2008 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   

Dianne ((((hugs)))) no wonder you are stressing out, going in for surgery is a huge deal, especially if it's for the first time.  I would be going through the roof too, so please don't apologise for wanting to vent, it's your right!!

Draw support from your family as much as you can, and try and think of all the good bokks/telly/movies you will get to catch up on when you are not at work (altho I know about preferring to swap work for surgery in a heartbeat - I think we all would).

Kitt and Lyn have both given you some great tips, but being fresh out of hospital myself I know it's important to have as many distractions as possible, make sure everyone visits and supports you.  I will be thinking of you Dianne and hoping everything goes well, stay strong lovely woman!!


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/17/2008 10:24 AM (GMT -7)   
How are you doing today Dianne
Have you read the above posts??

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


ocean1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 707
   Posted 5/17/2008 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the support and advice Lyn, Kitt and Meg.  I am doing okay today.  Very tired as I haven't slept well.  When I try to sleep, my mind just starts racing about the surgery and stuff.  My Dad and sisters and brother have all called me today to tell me they will be there for Mom and I since we are both having surgery within days of each other.  I made a list last night (the obsessive compulsive person I am) of everything that needs to be done before the surgery so I don't have to worry about anything after the surgery is over (i.e. Dad's birthday present bought so I won't have to worry about going out shopping while in the cast after surgery; extra food in the freezer, etc.).  I'm scared about the surgery.  I have been in so much pain for so long with both feet that it is the last resort to remove the tumors from the arch.  I am worried constantly that the surgery will just make matters worse.  The doctor and Mom and Dad and everyone have said I have to think positive.  It's hard but I am trying to look on the bright side.  So, until the surgery, I'll try to keep myself busy and my mind occupied and try to do my journaling and read my positive journal.  I am soooooo appreciative of everyone here.  I hate the fact that this surgery is heightening my anxiety level and making things bad.
Diane
Thou shalt smile and have a nice day.  It frustrates those who have other plans for thee.
________________________________________
Anxiety 2007; IBS 2004; Chronic Hives 2002.
Medications:  Allegra, Zantac, Xanax, Darvocet.


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 5/17/2008 7:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Dianne, I'm a bit of an OCD queen myself, it sounds like you are really organised and prepared!!! There is nothing wrong with that. For the racing mind, well, if you find a cure, let me know!! When I can't sleep I read, it keeps my mind off ME.  Journalling is also a good tool.  When I was little I used to have a worry box and every night I would put all my worries on a piece of paper, put them in the box and let them go.  It really helped me.  I just had to give over to a higher power...or as winston churchill used to say every night 't'hell with world'
and then he slept like a baby (or so they say) goodluck Dianne and let us know how you are going k.
Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


ocean1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 707
   Posted 5/18/2008 10:27 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Meg and Gramps,

Thanks for the support.  Gramps, you are right, there really is nothing anyone can say that will ease the anxious feelings about my upcoming surgery.  I'm trying to think positive about it as it will be the beginning to the end of my constant foot pain.  We'll see if thinking positive works.

Meg, from one OCD'er to another, thanks for your reply.  I had actually forgotten about a little box that my sister gave me years ago.  It has little teeny tiny dolls in it and is called a worry box and I turn my worries over to these people each night and they take them from me.  Now I gotta go see if I can find it.  It will bug me now until I do.

I'm trying to think more positive today and keep myself busy and think of the fact that only 4 more days until the surgery and only 4 more days to work then off for a few weeks (haven't had any time off in almost a year).


Diane
Thou shalt smile and have a nice day.  It frustrates those who have other plans for thee.
________________________________________
Anxiety 2007; IBS 2004; Chronic Hives 2002.
Medications:  Allegra, Zantac, Xanax, Darvocet.


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 5/18/2008 9:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Diane, I have worry dolls too, from guatamala (I cannot spell) and they have a big job to do!! If you run out of dolls for worries I can assign a few for you.  Stay well, stay brave and keep us posted.

Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 

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