Hi again all, just hit 25mg of Lamictal now...

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Paulos
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Date Joined Dec 2007
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   Posted 5/21/2008 3:45 PM (GMT -7)   
How's everyone doing? Hope everyone is dealing with their lives as best as they can... me I've been afraid and ocd with all the bad thoughts I've been getting lately with my medication withdrawal... and I just went down to 25mg... hopefully this horrid OCD will die down when I'm off this god darned Lamictal :) Still kind of spaced out... worried about things as usual... well hope everyone is okay.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


stkitt
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   Posted 5/21/2008 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Paulos,

Keep on track and kudos to you.  You will make it, I have faith in you my friend.

Today is a great day for a new start.  25 mg it is :-)
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


wen4003
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   Posted 5/21/2008 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Paulos,
 
Sounds like you are doing great with the tapering off the Lamictal and handling the withdrawals from it.  I hope the OCD calms down for you soon and you can move on with your life.  I'm proud of how well you have done so far and keep up the good work.  Just don't forget to notify your doc at some point that you are no longer taking this med, just so he/she knows.
 
Take care and keep posting to let us know how you are doing,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.

Always seek professional advice from your doctor.

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea

Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium

 “Be a good listener.  Your ears will never get you into trouble.” - Frank Tyger


Paulos
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Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/21/2008 8:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah... thanks all. I'll begin feeling the withdrawal from tonight to tomorrow since I already took a 25mg earlier... I wonder how I'll react to it. I just only hope I can get off it for good, maybe my life will like... I don't know, IMPROVE For once... I used to be SO MUCH BETTER... :sigh:
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


nervymeg
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   Posted 5/22/2008 2:10 AM (GMT -7)   

Oops Paulos, I missed this post and posted on your down to 50mg thread so aplogies for doubling up:

Hey Paulos, If you need to send me an email then you can click on the little envelope icon and I will get back to you when I'm on next, I'm sorry if I confused you by saying "someone is always here to listen", I live in a different time zone to most people on HW so I won't always be here, but we are a supporting bunch and if you need to chat then generally someone will be on soon.  Again, sorry if I mislead you, we just want to be here to support K?

I hope that spaciness is going away and congrats on 11 days without booze....these symptoms of withdrawl should surely be on the way out soon. I know you can do this.


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percycat
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   Posted 5/22/2008 6:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Paulos, how's it going this morning?

That's great news that you're down one more notch on your tapering off. Just hang on and remind yourself as you've reminded us that a lot of your strange feelings are just from withdrawal, and that they will stop soon.

We're so proud of you!

percycat

Paulos
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Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/22/2008 8:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Pery you really think these horrible feelings will go away? I just can't believe how horrible it is.. it's horror... pure horror... especially tonight, I'm worrying non stop about everything in my life... what could happen, unrealistic things that could happen... so much horrible stuff... and I'm just hitting day 3 on Lamictal 25mg...
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
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   Posted 5/23/2008 12:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Paulos, I'm sorry you are feeling so horrible.  It can be hard to taper off a med.  I remember going into a treatment centre to come off a high xanax dose and I didn't sleep, my skin itched and I was pretty scared most of the time.  Paulos, you are getting down to the lower dose so your body and mind are reacting, but in my experience it always passes.  You are doing so well, I really hope those horrible thoughts get smaller and smaller every hour of the day.  I wish you all the best.

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Howlyncat
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   Posted 5/23/2008 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry you are going thru this too Paulos

It will get better soon for you I am sure

Perhaps if you continue to post all your lowering in this thread we wont double post ( i did in the 50 mg) too as Megs did lol..........I deleted that post and posted here

Just a thought

Keep strong and know we are here for you

LYN


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


Paulos
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Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/23/2008 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I just keep getting worse, but ... BUT I'm so close to the end of my withdrawal I mean... like I'm down to 12.5mg right now, I'm almost DONE the medication withdrawal, shouldn't I feel better at all yet?... I just want to be like my old self, it's like a broken record with me I know but I just can't shake this worry...
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


percycat
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Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 5/23/2008 6:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Paulos,

You are getting close to the end of your taper, but remember that your brain chemistry still has to get used to its new set-up, and that could take a while. Your body will adapt, but it's just so used to not making certain chemicals of its own that it's really struggling to operate without them while it tries to remember how to start making them again (at least, that's how a psychologist friend explained withdrawal to me). So even once you're finished with the meds, you probably won't suddenly become your old self.

Try to be patient. Maybe keeping a journal of your symtpoms can help you notice improvement once it begins and help you stay motivated through the huge worry and the tough times.

Keep posting. I don't mind broken records.

percycat

nervymeg
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   Posted 5/23/2008 8:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey, Paulos, 

Percycat nailed it on the head, your chemistry is re-adjusting, things will return to normal, but with all things it takes time.  I think journalling sounds like a great idea too.  Please keep posting and keeping us up to date.  We all need to vent okay?


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Paulos
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Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/23/2008 10:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks percy and nervy, I feel kinda better reading those posts... it shows hope, and that's what I need right now... HOPE. Brain has to get used to a new set up... yeah I know I won't feel like my old self when the day I go to 0mg... it has to recover from a lot of crap, I just hope I'm not too FAR GONE... I feel like a retarded child sometimes that's fully aware of what's going on around me... been crying like crazy all night too.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


nervymeg
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   Posted 5/23/2008 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   

Paulos (((hugs)))

I'm sorry it's still terrible for you, but you are right, there is hope, seriously..you will feel like you again and be stronger for it.  I think crying is a good way to get things out, but you stop now okay or I will be forced to send you a ton of chocolate (actually that might be a good thing!)

I wish you all the best, keep believing and trust that things will get better.  More hugs.

You want some chocolate or do you have a favourite food?!?


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Howlyncat
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   Posted 5/24/2008 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Paulos

YOU will make it 'I have faith in you as do so many others here
Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing

Take care and KNOW we are proud of you

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


Paulos
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Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/24/2008 1:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Chocolate, he he. Well I recovered last night from it but now I'm back to being a bit sad... though I'm alive... hope you're better Lyn, I just wish I felt more confident, better, and had more sense about things. :sigh: Yeah pizza is my favorite food by the way nervy.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


nervymeg
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   Posted 5/24/2008 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   

Sending you virtual pizza's Paulos, you like extra cheese?

I'm really glad you are feeling better than last night, I was worried about you.  Hopefully those feelings of being sad and unconfident will lift as the meds leave your system for good.  You're almost there Paulos and I am so proud of how tough you are being.  I respect this fight you are going through.  Now do you like anchovies or is that a no-no?


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percycat
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   Posted 5/24/2008 11:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Paulos,

I hope things continue to improve for you today. You've had some really rough days recently, and you deserve some relief. Try to remind yourself that your sadness and lack of confidence will slowly fade as your body adjusts. I know that it's always so hard to make what we know intellectually sift through to our feelings. My therapist reminds me that when I've got negative thoughts, I need to recognize and then replace them with a positive. So if you're feeling sad or hopeless about feeling like your old self soon, try to push that thought aside each time it crops up and replace it with the thought that you're feeling lousy right now, but that it's just for right now. My therapist would probably phrase the reassurance as "I feel sad and worried, but I won't feel that way forever. I am making progress every day."

Take good care, and make sure Meg doesn't put any virtual vegemite on that virtual pizza. That would be worse than anchovies in my book. LOL

Big hugs,
percycat

Paulos
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Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/26/2008 12:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Just extra cheese, thanks percy for the tip ... sadly I'm back on Day 1 with the booze, so you see why I could feel depressed about things... but for once I'm proud to be on Day 1, learned some things that will help me during this campaign as well... that will help me not fall to booze again. Thanks for your support all.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


percycat
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Date Joined Jul 2005
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   Posted 5/26/2008 4:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Paulos,

So long as you're still making progress in your compaign to stop drinking, good for you - even if that progress is a mental adjustment one day rather than the "physical" adjustment of not taking a drink. It sounds like you've had just that - a mental adjustment - and are ready to step away for the tempting stuff again. Fight it with all you've got!

Love, percycat

Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/26/2008 4:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Paulos
I have not been around as you may have noticed but I DO see you are making progress and my friend ..babay steps or however you do it ..it WILL work it really will
YOU are stong and you have us all here pullling for you

I love Pizza
Pizza and I dont do well together cuz of Crohns ......I am whining again lol

Havbea good day k
Try your darndest to anyways
Keep us in the know

Luvs
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


Paulos
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Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/26/2008 1:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I'll try Lyn... thanks, and thanks Percy... just gotta keep going on =)
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 5/26/2008 6:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Paulos, It's okay to bump off the wagon with alcohol, you are going through a tough patch.  Don't beat yourself up about it, just know that now you can make it through those first few days and be okay.  I'm sending extra cheese now okay?! Yummy..

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Panic Attack Survivor
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Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 5/26/2008 8:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks nervy I appreciate your input, for I really need it... today has been a horrid day for me... horrible. Extra cheese sure is nice I'll tell you that.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


wen4003
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 5/27/2008 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Paulos,
 
You've probably noticed noticed that I haven't been around much in the last couple days - this is because of family issues.  I'm sorry I haven't been here to support you during your tough time.  But you are doing a great job and being a real trooper about this.  You have tapered yourself down very gradually from the Lamictal - you are doing just great with that.
 
As Meg said, don't beat yourself up about falling off the booze wagon.  It happens and you were probably having so many withdrawal symptoms because of tapering off the Lamictal and quitting drinking at the same time.  Just my 2 cents worth on that.  We support you no matter what decision you make, but we sure do hope that you don't continue with the drinking.  You already know where that leads you.
 
Just keep posting, let us know how you are doing, vent, whatever you need to talk about and we will help you all that we can.  Stay safe and remember, that we do care about you.
 
Take care,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.

Always seek professional advice from your doctor.

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea

Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium

 “Be a good listener.  Your ears will never get you into trouble.” - Frank Tyger

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