Wow, your progress sounds wonderful. Maybe you should dwell on what you were able to do vs not doing what you used to do. I am struggling with giving up the way I used to be (loved going to work, there was joy in it for me) vs how I am now (dreading it, counting the minutes until the end of the day, coming in at the last possible minute vs getting here early). It's hard, I know, but I am trying to accept that this is the new normal for me.
Congratulations again on a great effort and good progress.
I know exactly how you feel, I have been where you are and I am sure I will have events in the future that may be the same.
At my very worse I would force myself to go to events and I was so anxious while there that a sip of wine made my head spin. I just wanted to run away and I would watch the other people laughing and talking and wonder what had happened to me. I used to be like them.
I have found that accepting myself for who I am now is what makes it better. You did a great job, and be proud of that. You went and a celebration is in order. I also understand coming home and feeling like it was so hard and wanting to know why? I tried to figure out the why for so long but I never found the answer.
So I do the very best I can and if I decide that I need to stay home and cannot attend something, I allow myself to do that.
I practice being in the moment. If I am in a situation where the anxiety starts notching up, I keep telling myself "I am OK" "Nothing bad is going to happen to me"
You did extremely well my friend. Kudos to you and bushels of hugs.Stick with us as you are family here.
Keep on Keeping on Leah.................we are here for you hun and we are open 24/7.
Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders
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I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.
Always seek professional advice from your doctor.
Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea
Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium
“Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble.” - Frank Tyger
Hi Leah, They are really bittersweet sometimes these victories of ours aren't they ? What you did was amazing, really brave and yet I can understand how you can feel sad for what you have "lost" to anxiety. I think back and I'm amazed at how freely and confidently I moved through this world (many years ago) before anxiety came along. Then I think of all the insights I have had, all the friends I have made through anxiety and it's almost worth it. I also remember a time when I couldn't leave the house and now I study and work full-time. Those little baby steps all paid off in the end..keep taking them Leah, it's worth it. All power to you hon.