About to give up

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Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 5/31/2008 7:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all, my name is Gabby and I'm new to this forum.  I have severe anxiety and lately I just want to give up.  I was diagnosed with GERD and gastroparesis 2 years ago, and the meds the doc gave me do not work.  I am in severe pain and agony everyday of my life, and this illness has stolen my life from me.  I am so sick of doctors and everything because no one understands what I a going through.  I hate this and lately I just want to give up, I dont see any hope in my life.  Sorry I just need a hug
 
-Gabby

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/31/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   

I am so glad you have posted here and know that we do understand where your coming from and what your going through. 
I have anxiety, depression and GERD so I know part of what your going through and I understand how hard it is to hang onto hope.  I feel as you do, I spend a lot of time in the clinic and now 2 years out since my major meltdown I am still struggling.
 
Do you have a therapist and are you on any meds for the anxiety?  Many people here use CBT therapy and I will move to the top a thread that will help you find some info on CBT.
 
Do not give up,  we cannot have you giving  up  :-)  . Talking usually helps. Share your feelings with friends, family, on here are all good ways to work through the anxiety.
 
Perhaps goal setting would help you. Set small goals for what you want to do each day to help you fight the anxiety.  Make your goals obtainable and if you don't hit your mark on one day do not beat yourself up.  I did this for a long time......my goals read like this.
1.  Get up and get dressed  2.  Wash Hair   3.  Pay bills........... so start simple just to keep you going and then as you feel stronger make your goals more challenging for you.

Sometimes it might feel almost impossible to think about the things that you hope for or care about.   But goal setting is an important part of wellness, no matter where you are on your path to recovery. Work on what you can when you can.

Bless you and please stick with us................keep on posting, you are family here.

Hugs and prayers
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 

Post Edited (stkitt) : 5/31/2008 2:16:23 PM (GMT-6)


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 5/31/2008 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Gabby,
 
Welcome to the A/P forum.  Like Kitt, I also have A/P, depression, GERD and a bunch of other ailments.  So I can relate to most of what you are going through.  Even though I know it's difficult, please don't give up - you're worth more than that.  Believe me, I know how hard it is not to give up - I've been there.  But I realized that I have a lot to do in my life that I want to accomplish so I decided not to give up. 
 
Kitt has given you some great advice.  I still use small goals as I can't seem to accomplish many big ones yet.  Sometimes even those are too much for me.  But Kitt is right, and I should follow her advice more often, if you don't accomplish a goal(s) don't feel guilty or beat yourself up about it.  It's just not worth it and it doesn't help any way.  Think about what Kitt has said, as her advice is spot on.  We are care about you and want to help you.  Feel free to come here to post any time about what you are thinking, feeling, etc.  Talking to family, friends, posting here always helps.  Just do the best  you can and don't expect more than that from yourself.
 
Keep posting to let us know how you are doing and so that we can try to help keep you going.
 
Take care,
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.

Always seek professional advice from your doctor.

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea

Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium

 “Be a good listener.  Your ears will never get you into trouble.” - Frank Tyger


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/31/2008 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Gabby
Never give up no matter what
Keep fighting the fight and you will see it can make a difference

I am glad you posted here and do hope you post more often

I have had so much going on in my life and I wont lie I thought of giving up for a short second.....
I know I have chronic illnesses and Anxiety/panic and have had the a/p for 30 plus yrs BUT I am seeing a light ...I truly am and it is
WITH the love and support of so mny here on this site
The friends and family I have come to know and that have supported me

YOU have anxiety and Panic

Anxiety and Panic does NOT have you

Fight and we are here to support you

Luvs
LYN
 
Both above have given you great input as usual.I just wanted to welcome you n tell you to fight
 


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 6/1/2008 9:12:58 AM (GMT-6)


Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 5/31/2008 4:29 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you for replying to my post.  I appreciate your concern very much.  I am just so frustrated.  I have paraylsis in my stomach and intestines, and a motility disorder in my esophagus.  I had anorexia years ago which caused all of this.  I am so upset, I never ever knew any of this would happen to me as a result of my actions.  And because of the disomotility I have bacterial overgrowth and severe esophagitis in my throat.  It hurts so bad everyday.  Ive been to 5 diff docs and 3 diff clinics and no one knows how to treat my condition.  I am so fed up I want to scream.  How can anyone live in this much pain everyday of there life?  I dont want to loose hope but honestly how can i go on like this everyday of my life?  all i eat is eggs and steamed vegitables, which dont go down well at all but thats all i can eat.  I just dont know what to do anymore I pray to God for help cause the docs cant help me.  What can i do?

-Gabby


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 5/31/2008 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Gabby (hugs on the way)

I am just blown away by what you are coping with right now.  I think you are incredibly brave, please do not give up/in/or anything.  What can you do? Gabby, keep posting here, stay strong and belive that things will improve, we will be here.


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 6/1/2008 5:59 AM (GMT -7)   

OMG last night was just torture.  the pain in my face was just agonizing.  I cant take this anymore.  Ive been to 5 diff docs and 3 diff clinics and all they tell me is I dont look sick, I dont look like im in pain, and Im too young to  be having these problems.  What am I supposed to do?  I am at witts end with this disease.  I had a horrendous anxiety attack last night because the pain was so naseating.  Lord Jesus help me, cause these doctors arent doing anything about this.  What do I do??  I cant go on living like its, its just pure hell.

-Gabbs


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 6/1/2008 6:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Gabby,

I am sorry that you are facing such pain and despair right now. Try not to give up hope, even when there doesn't seem to be a way out. As Lyn described in her post, sometimes, you don't see that light at the end of the tunnel for a while, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

Even though your doctors can't seem to treat your underlying condition, is there anything they can/did recommend for the pain? There might be some resources on some of the other forums here at HW about dealing with chronic pain. I hope and pray that you find some answers *soon* to get that under control, so that you can get your life back.

Please keep posting, even if you want to vent. We care about how you're doing.

Hugs,
percycat

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/1/2008 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Gabby,

Please forgive me if my questions sound silly,  have you been to a Gastroenterologist?  Also, have you access to any of the larger hosptials/clinics.  I have Mayo Clinic in mind but that is because I am in MN but there are many wonderful facilities that deal  in intestinal disorders.

Have you ever had a Abdominal CT of your Abdomen?

I am so sorry for you pain.  I know you are feeling life is hopeless and you have no quality of life but do not give up, fight this anxiety and the depression from your pain and keep on moving toward the light.

Please do not give up and if you need someone to talk to please utilize the Hotline  number.  Also keep on talking to us.  We will do our very best to support you.

Here is one Hotline number that you may want to keep handy:

NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632

Bless you
Kitt



 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 

Post Edited (stkitt) : 6/1/2008 9:34:40 AM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/1/2008 8:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Gabby I sure hope you see the support coming your way
I am in severe pain as are many daily and hun we have to fight we really do

IF we let the pain and the anxiety take us ......we LOSE

Get some tests done that Kitt has mentioned if not already had and yep praying will help IMHO........

YOU need a good doc that will take all his /Her abilty and empathy to listen to you and go over you with a fine tooth comb IMHO

Keep posting plz

I am so proud you have made the decision to post and ask questions here as well many with CP or Chronic Illness get Anxiety/ Panic IMHO

Now FIGHT with all YOU HAVE and then some

We have your back........LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
 
   
 
                   
 


wen4003
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 6/1/2008 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Gabby,
 
I too hope that you can see that we support you so much and want you to get well.  I agree with Kitt's suggestions about the tests, different hospitals, etc.  There has got to be a light at the end of the tunnel.  Please don't give up on anything, you are a valuable person and you just cannot give up on yourself.  There has to be a doc somewhere that can figure out what to do to help you, it's just a matter of persistance and I think that's what you have to do - be persistant. 
 
Please keep posting so we can support through this most difficult time you are having. 
 
Take care of yourself and don't give up.
 
Wen

Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders

Every little bit helps, please donate to HW if you can!   http://www.healingwell.com/donate 

I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.

Always seek professional advice from your doctor.

Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea

Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium

 “Be a good listener.  Your ears will never get you into trouble.” - Frank Tyger


Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 6/5/2008 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all for your posts and replies.  I have been to Shands clinic (its just like Mayo Clinic) and they couldnt help me at all.  They sent me home taking the exact same meds Ive taken before and told me to take depression meds for my pain.  I was so upset, they didnt even want to look down my throat or do any tests to see what was wrong.  Its like all they want to do is prescibe pills.  Im really sick of doctors.  Im going to another one today and Im not looking forward to it but I have to get help, Ive been really really sick and I dont know what to do or where else to go.  Yes, I have seen many gastroenterologists.  No one seems to know what to do about the horrensous pain in my throat and face, and the fact that I have bile constantly coming up and burning my throat....its like mny symptoms are so "weird" they dont want to bother with it, and just tell me to take more nexium for the stomach acid.  Im so sick of hearing "take two nexium instead of one..."  It seems like every doc i go to tells me that and no one wants to find out what is causing the prob.  My diet is very very bland and i hardly eat anything at all when i do eat.  Sorry for ranting I just really feel so lost and discouraged.  Bt thank you everyone for your encouraging words I appreciate it very very much

Love, Gabbs


             ~Waiting for a miracle healing~
 
- Gastroparesis, esophageal dismotility, gastritis, GERD, bile reflux, Gallbladder disease, esophagitis, Chronic pain in face and throat, Difficulty swallowing, painful swallowing, anxiety and depression, carpral tunnel syndrome. ~
 
             ~ Anorexia, Addiction Survivor~
 
 
By the Stripes of Jesus Christ, I am healed.  Isa 53


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 6/5/2008 5:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Gabby,

Are you a candidate for any of the surgeries that can be performed to correct certain reflux? I don't know whether your motility prevents any attempts of that type or not.

Please hang on. You will find an answer somewhere. It took me three years to find a doctor who could diagnose my breathing problems as reflux rather than "just" anxiety. (And she was exactly right, as I've not had a problem at all since beginning her treatment.) A couple dozen trips to the ER, and they never once thought to check my throat, or recommend that I see someone who could. Don't give up hope. You know what you need from a doctor, and you have the instincts to tell when they're doing right by you and when they're not. There's got to be someone out there who can help you get answers. I found mine, and I know it's possible.

Lots of hugs,
percycat

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 6/5/2008 8:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Gabby,

((((((hugs))))))

Please trust that this will pass, as Lyn said, never give up, you can get through this.  Please feel free to vent, we get how debilitating anxiety is around here eyes we surely do.  I find a good cry gets me through, as do my HW friends.


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 

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