I am new to this site but was wondering if anyone had any advice for me or suffering fom similar feelings.
In October last year I suffered an injury at the hands of a medical professional which has resulted in intense pain in my ribs every day since. On the third day after my injury I was in so much pain that I was taken from my car (which i nearly crashed) on the way to work, to A and E where it was asssumed at first i was having a heart attack (at 35!!). Since then if I get stressed in the slightest I start to feel dizzy, nauseous, sweaty and the feeling that I can't breathe, resulting in hyperventilation.
This was the final straw in the last 4 years of my life when I have injured my back so badly after slipping on ice that I was off work for 5 months; have lost my 4 year job after being bullied horrendously by my managers; suffered a severe sprained ankle at a subsequent job interview; got the sack from another job after 3 months of starting and doing a fantastic job (as the manager did not like the fact I could do the job better than her after she left me in charge and went on holiday at a day's notice with no contact details!); had a great job with lovely children in a school on a 1 year contract, but working under the teacher from hell who caused me upset on a daily basis by emotionally abusing/bullying the children in the class and despite complaining (all the staff had experienced him at some point) nothing was done to stop him; suffered with severe vertigo (reason why I was seeing medic) and now at the point where I have not worked since October, have had to sell my car as I am unable to drive now and cannot see an end to this misery or anyone ever employing me again.
I also have a new problem in that I am unable to leave the boundary of my house and garden unless someone is with me.
I feel totally ridiculous as I am highly intelligent and rational person but I am terrified that if I go out by myself I am going to fall over or hurt myself in some way. I do not know whether this is down to the pain I have suffered every day since I was injured, an accumulation of everything that has happened to me in the last few years or just a ridiculous thought that has stuck in my head.
Since October i have left the house only to attend hospital appointments and medicals/interviews that the UK government insist I do so they can decide whether or not I am fit to do work.
I believe that this is also adding to my stress levels as I convinced that they will say there is nothing wrong with me and demand I find a job (as all tests have been negative and I have basically been abandoned and sent to a pin management clinic- I do not want to "manage" the pain as it is not manageable and I want to know what is causing it). I am going to see another doctor this week in the hope of getting further tests but feel ridiculous as my husband is having to have time off to come with me and also for further appointments in the next 2 weeks. If i mention my fear of going out alone to the doctor they will say I am making it up. I have always loved going out on my own in the past, especially to wide open spaces. It is not a fear of open spaces but just that I am going to hurt myself if someone is not with me.
I do not know what to do as I feel stupid. People keep telling me to pull myself together reagrding the pain i feel so i have only confided this fear to my husband, who does not understand.
I am alone in feeling like this?
What can I do to overcome this problem especially as I can't expect my husband to take me to appointments for ever as I need to be able to get the bus.
I feel totally trapped.