Went out,Xanax and feeling Anxious

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Sydnee10
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   Posted 6/3/2008 10:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone,
It has been a long while since I last visited the site.Life has been extremely chaotic as I've been contending with 2 extremely greedy,selfish and self-centered Aunt's since my Father's dead 16 Month's ago.
 
I wanted to post about my adventure on Friday May 30th.
 
I had to go out to renew my Drivers License.I anticipated for Month's.The last 3-5 times I was out wasn't pleasant,so was very scared and dreaded.
 
Friday was the first time I was out or in Vehicle since June 26,2003.In fact,it was first time I've been farther than my front and back porch in 2 Years.
 
I of course had to take Medication (Xanax) before accomplishing this great feat.Since I haven't been out nor seen a Physician in long while,I had to get the Xanax from a Friend who takes it.I do not feel bad about doing this.
 
To walk out my front Door,I took 3-1/2-4 MG's Xanax (not at same time of course!).
 
The past 2 Day's I'm having extreme Anxiety,so think the Xanax is wearing off as I do not take the Medication on a continous basis.Could this be why I'm feeling so Anxious?
 
Most usually Xanax is prescribed TID (three times per Day).I don't take it routinely,but really need to.It calms and eases my Anxiety,Panic,fears and gives me courage expose myself to what I fear.
 
 
 
 
 


peacesoul
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Date Joined Jan 2007
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   Posted 6/4/2008 6:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Sounds like you made the first step to overcoming your agoraphobia?!

Whatever helps you get out of the house daily, you need to do

I was housebound for alost a year when I was 20 (am 41 now) and it was the worst time of my life. Life is scary and the world is scary, but mostly in our heads. I found out from just pushing and pushing, life is not as scary as we make it

Keep up the good work
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places
 


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 6/4/2008 7:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I think that it would be important to get a prescription for xanax from your doctor. If you call him, will he prescribe it? I really think that taking it regularly would take the edge off of your anxiety. I know that it is hard, but think of it as a way to freedom.

I hope to hear that you are starting to get out soon. There is a wonderful world out there, and you only have to go when you are feeling comfortable with it.

Good luck Sydnee.

My thoughts are with you.

Hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/4/2008 8:14 AM (GMT -7)   
IMHO
You should call and ask your Doc for a RX as has been said for the meds if you cannot get yourself there to get a check up done
Taking steps like you did really are great and you should be proud of what you accomplished and still continue to carry on with baby steps to go out for a few minutes go to post office bank or just anywhere close but far enough away that at least you are making some progress you know what I mean.....
Getting to the doc would be fantastic it really would be IMHO IF you can and do feel you are able to do it


Getting out of the house after so long will be hard to do BUT it is attainable if you do it in small baby steps IMHO

I was only housebound for a couple plus mths and I knew I had to move myself out and start doing something to get "Back" into the world
We sometimes will stay in a safe zone that we perceive as our only "safety net" this being your home to avoid the feeling of not having control over all situations
That was my problem anyways .....not saying it is yours..............

I want you to know there have been so many agoraphobics on this forum and with the baby steps they have taken they are now able to go out to short trips and go to stores when not busy
Places like that will help IMHO

Cognitive behavioural Therapy is great for me it has helped me change alot of my ways of "stinking thinking"
and I know it has worked for so many others as well .........
There is a link to it at top with Wen's nmae at end off thread I believe that will take you to CBT.......and other Resources.........

KNOW you are not alone in this ..........
Support is here

LYN

Keep us posted on how you are doing
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
         Be Well All and Stay With Us We are Here To Help
                               LYN 
   
 
                   
 


peacesoul
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   Posted 6/4/2008 9:55 AM (GMT -7)   
LOVE THIS "stinking thinking"

I'm going to go back to therapy soon as well. I've had therapy on and off over the years, but want to go back because my anxiety is coming back because of my stinking thinking" and my lyme/lupus.

I've become horrible negative in my through process from all this mess
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places
 


Sydnee10
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/4/2008 11:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Peacesoul,

I DID make a first step to overcome Agoraphobia,however can't get out of the House daily (for several reasons).I don't have a Vehicle,I live in a small and rural Area that has no form of Public transport and the only Person I trust enough (at the moment) to take me places is my Sister Friend who doesn't get out much herself.She was a Housebound Agoraphobic for 4 Years and still has Agoraphobic tendencies..I'm 35 and had Anxiety,Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia since age 22..my Agoraphobia is much worse the past 6 1/2 Years because my Grandmother and Step-Mother died.It got really bad after Grandma's death,but really got bad after Mother's.After my Mother died,it got so bad I could no longer go to curb and get my mail or take trash to receptacle..

 

Thank you..am trying to hang in there!


 


Sydnee10
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/4/2008 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Getting by,
It has been a very long time since I saw a Doctor,so it's highly unlikely a Doctor would prescribe.My Attorney asked if I had considered finding a Doctor to come to my Home in order to prescribe Medication since I'm a Housebound Agoraphobic.I told him I hadn't thought of it as I didn't figure any Doctor in the Area would make Housecalls.If I can't find a Doctor who will,I will have to borrow Xanax from my Friend in order to get to the Doctor so I can get a prescription.
 
Thank you very much for the positive encouragement. :-)
 


Sydnee10
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/4/2008 12:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Howlyncat,
There is not a Doctor that will prescribe Xanax unless I make an appointment and go in.Xanax is a controlled substance thus a lot of Doctor's won't just "hand it out" without the Person being seen first.I had no other choice but to go in and renew my License.The last time I renewed,I lucked into getting a License without a valid photo and signature.The only People who can obtain those now are Military and Travelers abroad who can't be in the Country to renew.If I can't find a Doctor to make calls to my House then I won't have any other choice but to go in.Not only am I afraid of being Anxious or having a PA in Public,I also fear becoming sick or dying.Agoraphobia has been very hard for me since all of my immediate Family have died.I will not seek Therapy again (at least not around here).The last Therapist I saw in the Area wrote that I had "self seeking attention behavior" which royally pi$$ed me off!!!We don't have much to choose from other than a Clinc ran by the State..NO THANK YOU!


 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/4/2008 1:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Sydnee

I am so sorry you are having a tough time right now.  I guess the best I can do is listen to you and support you, however, I too would like to see you make an appointment with a physician.  I fear you will only become worse if you do not get professional help. 

You made it to renew your driver's license so you have that to be proud of.  I will give you the link to the online CBT therapy and perhaps it will help you to work through the program.  It does not take the place of one on one counseling but at least it is something.

Moodgym 

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

You have received good advice by the members, I pray you will overcome your phobia and life will get better.

Kitt
 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


Sydnee10
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/4/2008 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Stkitt,

Thank you.The last Physician I saw on a regular basis who prescribed Xanax refused to see me when I called Month's ago to schedule an appointment.I'm gonna browse through the Directory and try and find a Physician who will see me.I need to find one who will be willing to take the time,understand and listen.It has been over 6-1/2-7 Years since I last saw a Doctor,so there is lots to be said.I don't think it can get any worse than it already has been.I am keeping Fingers crossed that the next time I go out will be as smooth as Friday was.Thank you for the link will check it out..

Thank you to each and everyone for the words of encouragement and positive support.Greatly appreciated.. :-)


 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/4/2008 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   

Sydnee,

I am glad we could be of help and please stick with us.  At least you can let off some steam here and we will not judge. Everyone here understands anxiety.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


Sydnee10
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/4/2008 8:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you! :-)
 


peacesoul
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Date Joined Jan 2007
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   Posted 6/5/2008 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Syndee.....my heart feels for you. Being trapped at home is tough.

Maybe you can try some natural anti anxieties and start with really small steps like taking a 5 mins walk etc.
We''re all here to listen to you, so that in itself is a form of therapy. There are therapists that will do phone consults if you live in an area where it's tough to find good help.

How I got out of my fear of leaving the house was with anger. I got soooooooooooo mad I was stuck, I left the house, in a car and drove to a therapist. ekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk was a terrified, but the feelings of being terrified and uncomfortable felt MUCH better than the trapped feeling at home.

Small steps, and post as much as you can.

I'll help with whatever you need. Email me if you need to talk

Hug
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places
 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/5/2008 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   
THats how I finally did it too Peacesoul
I was so bleeding mad at letting this take over my life

I have also lost so many loved ones including a son,mom gma and just recently Dad.....

I do feel you pain and I know you will try to get appointment..
I am hoping you will let us know how you are making out

Take care

LYN


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
         Be Well All and Stay With Us We are Here To Help
                               LYN 
   
 
                   
 

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 6/5/2008 8:15:41 AM (GMT-6)


ashleyf3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 364
   Posted 6/5/2008 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to say that I feel for you! If I wasn't motivated by my husband and children to get out every now and then (or doctor's appointments) I would never leave the house myself. I am at home about 95% of the time (if not more!). I struggle with Lyme disease and other illnesses, but soon I I hope to get a Pdoc and see about trying some new medication. We can't ever give up. I have been like this for 20 years, but I have faith that I will get better - maybe not perfect but better! You should find a doctor that can help get you the medication you need so that you can get out at least a little everyday. Remember you are not alone!!!

Blessings,
Leah

Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/5/2008 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Peacesoul,
Thank you!I've been drinking Chamomile and Passionflower Tea and Oatstraw Infusion.The only Medication I had is Benadryl..though these things helped they don't treat Panic Disorder..I'm not sure if there are Therapists who would do Phone consults with me.I live in a VERY small Rural Area.
 
The Doctor I was intending to use doesn't Prescribe Anti-Anxiety Medication,so am still in search..
 
I got out Friday with the help of Xanax,but also turned fear into anger.I imagined the sadness and worry in my late Parents Eyes because of what a few Family members did to them..worked a charm!

 


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/5/2008 2:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Lyn,
I wish I could get angry at the Disorder and Phobia,but the fear is to great.I got angry for other reasons.I'm very sorry to read of your losses.I can't imagine what it's like losing a Child.You must be a very strong Woman.I called another Clinic today and asked that the Doctor's Nurse call so I can brief her about what's going on before I make an appointment.I want to ensure the Doctor will prescribe Medication first.
 
Have a lovely Afternoon..

 


Sydnee10
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/5/2008 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Leah,
Thanks!A Sister Friend who was Housebound Agoraphobic 4 Years and still has Agoraphobic tendencies is at the moment the only Person I feel "safe" enough to go out with..she completely understands.I do have many motivators,however they don't understand Agoraphobia even though a few have had Anxiety and PA's.I am curious to know when ya'll say PDoc is that Panic Doctor or Psychiatrist?I'm sorry to hear you have Lyme's Disease.My Sister Friend's Father has it and it flares up occasionally.The Doctor's Office just called and the Nurse told me she would explain to the Doctor what I'm needing,so am happy.Keeping Fingers crossed that he will see me and prescribe Medication.
 

 


percycat
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Date Joined Jul 2005
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   Posted 6/6/2008 10:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Sydnee,

I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed that you can get in to see this new doctor and will develop a really useful relationship with him.

Good for you for facing down the agoraphobia! One baby step at a time, that's all you have to worry about. Don't try to bite off the entire frightening problem all at once.

Hugs,
percycat

peacesoul
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 6/7/2008 5:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Syndnee, never give up

Imagine if you will that someone came into your home to rob you or keep you hostage. Ohhhhhhhhh how mad would you be at that person? Imagine your own self doing this hostage taking and get mad

We fear the public due to embarrassment. You fear leaving the house because you may freak out or do something silly and EVERYONE IN THE WORLD is going to see you.
The next time you go out, think this if you can, think "I'm letting a bunch of strangers, people I could care less about, control where and how I go. Screw that"
I function daily with severe panic and I too also have lyme/lupus, but when I get in the total panic mode, I use this method. When I drive, I fear fainting. When I'm in the store, I fear fainting and i get panic attacks every time I'm out. But I'll feel the fear and do it anyway, because I AM SICK AND TIRED of letting this control me.
I was buying food the other day and was weak from my illness and I felt a PA coming on. I was about to run out of the store, but I stayed cause my thought was "no, I'm not leaving, I don't care if i faint and freak out, cause i need food" Then I go to get in line and the line was long. Again, I panic "what if I faint and everyone sees me" So I hovered around a bit and then got in line when I gave myself a good talking to"
When I feel physically well, I can pass days w/out a thought of panic and do everything.
When I joined a gym 9 yrs ago and worked out daily, my anxiety went to ZERO, I had not had a panic attacks in YEARS.
Can you exercise at home to start to build your strength and increase natural anti anxiety brain chemicals?

I used to be housebound, then fully functional w little anxiety and panic, then back to fear, then back to normal, now I'm back to fear because of the lyme /lupus and the anxiety that comes with it. But you know what, I'm going to keep going cause I refuse to be held hostage.
Get mad girl.........Please keep posting.
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places
 


stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/7/2008 6:14 AM (GMT -7)   

peacesoul speaks straight from the  heart and  life experiences. Thank you so much for sharing and your words are right on.  :-)

When I had my meltdown in 2006 I would cry because I would make a goal to leave the house and get ready only to burst into tears of fear.  It was fearing what "Might" happen just as peacesoul stated.  I finally have relaized to think about "What is the worse thing that could happen and will I live through it?"  Yes I will................and I do.  I still have times I nearly break the sound barrier driving  home as the anxiety has kicked up and I need my safe house.

I know you will make it Syndnee, just take those baby steps toward your goal and soon they will add up to be giant steps.

Hugs
Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


peacesoul
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 6/7/2008 1:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh another good method I use and this one works EVERY time is. when you feel your going to freak out and have a full blown panic attack, let it come.
I know for me, I feel total relief after I have the panic attack, like the storm that comes in and when it passes, it's calm again

The anxiety and fear of the attack is actually 100 x worse than the actually panic attack. So I think to myself when the panic swells, I think "Ok, I'm done, I'm fed up of this feeling, bring it on. bring on the attack and get it done and over with so I can go about the rest of my drive, work, shopping etc"

When you ALLOW the panic attack to come and don't resist, it's like the panic just leaves your body. Resist and it persists.

Or something else that works for me, well as we all know us people with anxiety believe we are the center of everyone elses universe. Like everyone MUST be staring at us. Well when you're in a situation in public where you feel panic, look people in the face (eyes), others turn away or never even look at you, why cause everyone else has their own story and no one gives a rats butt who we are and what we're doing.
I know for me, I never fcous on others when I'm out. No really gives a hoot about what we're doing!

Now having said this, it's tough to control anxiety if the body has other stimulants to contend with like sugars, caffeine and processed foods.
I know many disbelieve intake has little to do with it, but everything we put in our body effects our chemicals.

eat well, sleep well and don't give anyone else control your world


The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places
 


Sydnee10
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/8/2008 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Percycat,
Thank you for crossing your Fingers and Toes!I hope the Doctor's Nurse will call Tomorrow to let me know he will see me.If he won't there is only 1 other Doctor I can try.The Doctor I'm hoping to use is an MD Family Medicine and OB/GYN.I can use him for everything.
 
Overcoming Agoraphobia is one of the HARDEST things I've ever done in me life!I'm gonna have to go out again soon.Next time to my Father's to retrieve items from his Estate.That will probably be latter Week,Weekend or start or the next Week.

 


nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 6/8/2008 9:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Sydnee, I am sorry for joining this post so late.  You deserve bucket-fulls of congratulations for all you have done. I take xanax myself about once a week, but I find that the next day I often feel worse. Does that happen to you? My cats and me also have paws crossed for you and dr visit. x

Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Sydnee10
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Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 6/9/2008 12:10 AM (GMT -7)   

Peacesoul,

This is exactly the problem.I don't want to feel Anxious or Panicky in front of People and you are right again..no one gives a $hit!Fainting is one of my fears too..you seem a very strong,brave and courageous Person!I have walking work-outs I got for my Birthday,but will honestly admit I haven't tried yet.I told my Sister Friend I wish we could walk the track at the Park in Town at least 3 times per Week.When the Disorder and Agoraphobia first came on,I went to Therapy and Doctor's appointments and could go outside,but have been completely Housebound after the deaths of my Grandmother and Step-Mother.I am trying to get mad at the Disorder and Phobia,but it scares me and the fears make me turn inward.I get mad at things done to my late Parents and myself..


 

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