Hello everyone. Newbie here again....wondering what books, if any, you all have used to help with your anxiety/depression issues. I have so many books and I read them but reading them is one thing. Doing what the books say is another thing. That's the part I'm having a hard time with.
Has anyone had luck with Lucinda Bassett's program? A family member bought it and loaned it to me. I love the tapes and have read the material but it still seems too difficult to do on my own.
The therapist I am seeing is working on me slowly....but she can only do so much. I have to do the "fixing" I guess. It's going to have to come from me.
I have talked to my mom about these issues but I don't have a very loving relationship with her. It's ashame but we just have never been close. She has done some mean and spiteful things to me in the past and I think that is probably because of her own anxiety/depression issues (her dad died when she was young and my step-dad committed suicide). I have been trying to get her to talk to me about whether I was a worried child or whether I was anxious but she says she doesn't remember. I don't remember too much about my early days. My parents divorced when I was 8 and I remember very little around that time period. The therapist thinks I'm blocking it out for some reason because I should at least remember things from age 6 and up. I have talked to my aunts about it but they both tell me that my mom didn't let them come over much when I was little.
I remember always having little tics or habits, which now I guess I would call OCD. Back then, I don't remember anyone every saying anything to me about them other than to quit doing them. I would have hoped my mom would have noticed the tics and habits and got me some help.
My counselor thinks part of my problem is that my husband has cancer. He was diagnosed 4 years ago but is in remission and is doing great. She thinks I am anticipating being a young widow and have clung on to someone else to "make sure I'm not alone". My husband is feeling good and doing wonderful so that didn't really make sense to me but then again, I don't understand why I am quite clingy to this other person. This someone else is no good for me and I know this but yet I'm still clingy. What in the world am I thinking? It really doesn't make sense to me. I love my husband dearly so what in the world am I doing????
So....with all that said, I am just venting a bit and spilling my guts. Not sure what the best way is to help myself. I'm on 37.5mg Paxil and this Wednesday will be 2 weeks at that dose. I am to up the dose to 50mg then. I am staying on the meds as long as I can but would ultimately like to have the coping skills so I don't have to rely on the meds.
I guess I've said a lot so maybe some of you can touch on some of what I said and give me some hope. I know I should live in the "here and now" and not worry about what "might" happen but that's easier said than done - for me anyway.
How do you all deal with these issues?
Thanks for letting me vent. And thanks for being here. It helps to know I'm not alone out there.