Books or programs to help?

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harlan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/9/2008 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone.  Newbie here again....wondering what books, if any, you all have used to help with your anxiety/depression issues.  I have so many books and I read them but reading them is one thing.  Doing what the books say is another thing.  That's the part I'm having a hard time with. 
 
Has anyone had luck with Lucinda Bassett's program?  A family member bought it and loaned it to me.  I love the tapes and have read the material but it still seems too difficult to do on my own.
 
The therapist I am seeing is working on me slowly....but she can only do so much.  I have to do the "fixing" I guess.  It's going to have to come from me.
 
I have talked to my mom about these issues but I don't have a very loving relationship with her.  It's ashame but we just have never been close.  She has done some mean and spiteful things to me in the past and I think that is probably because of her own anxiety/depression issues (her dad died when she was young and my step-dad committed suicide).  I have been trying to get her to talk to me about whether I was a worried child or whether I was anxious but she says she doesn't remember.  I don't remember too much about my early days.  My parents divorced when I was 8 and I remember very little around that time period.  The therapist thinks I'm blocking it out for some reason because I should at least remember things from age 6 and up.  I have talked to my aunts about it but they both tell me that my mom didn't let them come over much when I was little.
 
I remember always having little tics or habits, which now I guess I would call OCD.  Back then, I don't remember anyone every saying anything to me about them other than to quit doing them.  I would have hoped my mom would have noticed the tics and habits and got me some help. 
 
My counselor thinks part of my problem is that my husband has cancer.  He was diagnosed 4 years ago but is in remission and is doing great.  She thinks I am anticipating being a young widow and have clung on to someone else to "make sure I'm not alone".  My husband is feeling good and doing wonderful so that didn't really make sense to me but then again, I don't understand why I am quite clingy to this other person.  This someone else is no good for me and I know this but yet I'm still clingy.  What in the world am I thinking?  It really doesn't make sense to me.  I love my husband dearly so what in the world am I doing????
 
So....with all that said, I am just venting a bit and spilling my guts.   Not sure what the best way is to help myself.  I'm on 37.5mg Paxil and this Wednesday will be 2 weeks at that dose.  I am to up the dose to 50mg then.  I am staying on the meds as long as I can but would ultimately like to have the coping skills so I don't have to rely on the meds.
 
I guess I've said a lot so maybe some of you can touch on some of what I said and give me some hope.  I know I should live in the "here and now" and not worry about what "might" happen but that's easier said than done - for me anyway.
 
How do you all deal with these issues?
 
Thanks for letting me vent.  And thanks for being here.  It helps to know I'm not alone out there.
 

harlan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/9/2008 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks, Gramps.  You're a doll!

 

Gramps said...
The book that helped me most was Feeling Good by the creator of cognitive therapy, Dr Aaron Beck. The book was recently revised by one of his proteges but most of the same techniques are used. Many of them are so simple it's actually embarrassing at first. This book helped when hospitalsm dr's & meds couldn't. You can google cognitive therapy or Dr Beck & find many books & tapes on a vaiety of issues now. Good luck & take care.



Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/9/2008 1:15 PM (GMT -7)   
THat book is a good one
I also think Cognitive behaviour is a great Therapy

I was a SKEPTIC

I am no longer I do the Moodgyms Program

Best to you

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
         Be Well All and Stay With Us We are Here To Help
                               LYN 
   
 
                   
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/9/2008 4:36 PM (GMT -7)   

1975, my goodness Gramps, that was the year I was born....... devil

Harlan,

I worked through my childhood and mostly what I discovered was I was a daughter with out a Mother.  My birth Mother died when I was 18 months old and my step mother did not love me as I had hoped.  So I have let go of the past  and live in the present.

My hubby has a chronic disease and has had 3 mojor surgeries but I refuse to think that he won't be here....................I live in the present as much as possible. I oractice staying in the moment.

I hope you find the peac for which you are searching.

Gentle Hugs to You

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


harlan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Lyn - I'm not familiar with the Moodgyms Program.  How did you hear about it.  Did you do Cognitive behaviour on your own or through a therapist?  Is it tough to go through or something that is bearable?

 

Howlyncat said...
THat book is a good one
I also think Cognitive behaviour is a great Therapy

I was a SKEPTIC

I am no longer I do the Moodgyms Program

Best to you

LYN


harlan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Kitt - I was actually thinking something similar....I was only 6 years old then!  haha....poor Gramps showing his age....unless he got the book as a baby.  That would put him close to our age.

I am sorry to hear about your mother situation.  What happened for you to decide to let go of the past?  That is what I am having a hard time with right now.  Actually, I think about the future too much, too, which is just as annoying as remembering the past.  What did you do to make it happen?  Did you have help with it?

 

stkitt said...

1975, my goodness Gramps, that was the year I was born....... devil

Harlan,

I worked through my childhood and mostly what I discovered was I was a daughter with out a Mother.  My birth Mother died when I was 18 months old and my step mother did not love me as I had hoped.  So I have let go of the past  and live in the present.

My hubby has a chronic disease and has had 3 mojor surgeries but I refuse to think that he won't be here....................I live in the present as much as possible. I oractice staying in the moment.

I hope you find the peac for which you are searching.

Gentle Hugs to You

Kitt


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:50 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL
Ya right

I was born in 1954
Lil sis
FESS UPPPPPPPP

I do the online one ....FREE too .......has a workbook with it
Check up top Harlan in resources where WEN's Name is and there should be a link ......

It is the Beck of them all ..........LOL
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
         Be Well All and Stay With Us We are Here To Help
                               LYN 
   
 
                   
 


harlan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Are you saying that Kitt is lying about her age????
Thanks for the info.  I'll check out the resources.  I need all the help I can get!

 


thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/11/2008 9:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey a friend gave me a book called "Life without the Monsters" by Tami West. It was pretty good. I don't know how available the book is, she found it in her closet at work. It's a book for women. Anyway if I find something better I'll let you know. I will pray for you and your husband. I have a fear of losing my husband and there's really nothing wrong with him physically. I can't imagine your anxiety over that. Your really strong to even be able to cope with that. Good luck, I hope you feel better soon!

harlan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/11/2008 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks "thirstyforchrist".  I appreciate the info.  I'll look on Amazon.com.  Sometimes I can find books on there that I never thought I could.

 

 

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 6/12/2008 1:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Harlan,

In my experience, you're right about the "fixing" needing to come from yourself. I've seenmaybe half a dozen different therapists in my life, but the only one that has really helped for my anxiety is the current one. She does cognitive behavioral therapy, so I get some direct ideas of things to *do* to try to help with my issues.

I'm sorry you're in a situation of hanging on to someone else. I did that a lot in my younger years and still don't know exactly why. I hope you'll get some relief as you sort that out. Even though it felt "necessary" to me, I don't think it ever made me feel good, secure, or happy.

Glad to have you on board!

percycat

harlan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/12/2008 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi percycat....am curious about cognitive therapy.  I have a number of books and the one I'm looking at now talks about cognitive therapy.  Is this something that your therapist does in her office or did she direct you to a specific book to read?  Does she give you "homework"?  Just curious how it works?  My therapist is helping me deal with my "friend" leaving town and I'm still upset over it so I don't know what cognitive therapy for my OCD she can do yet until I get my brain back together.  It just doesn't make any sense why I'm clinging when I have a wonderful husband who is a perfect mate for me.  He is really working with my OCD and has patience with me.  My "friend" is no good for me plus he has a bad track record in that he's on his third wife right now and has four kids from the three wifes.  What in the world am I thinking?  My therapist tells me I have a problem with emotional dependency.  When I'm hanging out with him, I'm not very happy because of a variety of reasons but yet when I wake up the next morning, I'm sad.  It really just doesn't make sense to me at all.  I still ask what in the world am I thinking?
How did you get rid of your "clinginess" that you had in your younger years?
 
percycat said...
Harlan,

In my experience, you're right about the "fixing" needing to come from yourself. I've seenmaybe half a dozen different therapists in my life, but the only one that has really helped for my anxiety is the current one. She does cognitive behavioral therapy, so I get some direct ideas of things to *do* to try to help with my issues.

I'm sorry you're in a situation of hanging on to someone else. I did that a lot in my younger years and still don't know exactly why. I hope you'll get some relief as you sort that out. Even though it felt "necessary" to me, I don't think it ever made me feel good, secure, or happy.

Glad to have you on board!

percycat

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/12/2008 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   

harlan,

Lyn is a bit confused about my age but as she is Big Sis and I am Lil Sis, I am obviously the younger one....................... devil

Great thread all.  Keep it up.

Hugs, Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

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