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thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone,
   I'm struggling with anxiety and depression, plus some sort of eating disorder.  I'm married and have a beautiful two year old son.  My problems have become so severe that they effect every single moment of every single day.  I'm afraid my son is going to pick up on or be effected by my stupid problems.  My husband does not understand, he tries to support me but he is becoming very impatient with me.  I dont blame him for it.  I drive myself crazy. Anyway I've been on generic Paxil for about three months now.  My MD keeps upping my dosage and now I'm on 40mg's a day.  It seems that it is not working very well.  I really want to stop this mess. My anxiety starts everyday at around the time that the sun starts setting.  I have severe panic attacks and all I want to do is get in my car and go somewhere.  But I cant leave my boy like that everynight.  So I stay home and try to deal with it.  My main fear is that my son will get a virus and be sick.  I'm afraid that if that were to happen I would get sick too and then no one would be able to take care of him or me.  WHat can I do?  Is there anything I can do rather than breathing, to relax and take my mind off of it?  Or is there any way I can ever over come this fear?  I hardly leave my house anymore because oh fear of germs! Help please!
               Hunnypye

Junebug05
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time with the anxiety right now.  Not too long ago, I was in the exact same place, panic/anxiety constantly and worries about things that I cannot control, like with you worrying about your son getting sick.  What really helped me was reading books by Claire Weekes.  She teaches how to allow the anxious feelings to be there and just float through them.  I also work very hard on turning around the negative thoughts, you really have to fight each and every negative or scary thought that you have over and over.  I know that where you are right now is miserable, but it does get better.  Try reading about anxiety and panic, the more you know and understand what's happening the better, and keep coming here for support.  If there is anything I can do to help you, please feel free to write me. 

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:41 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Hunnypye, welcome to healing well. I am so glad you joined us.  The people here are really supportive and understanding.  It sounds like you are in a pretty anxious state at the moment.  I am sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment, and feel scared to leave the house. Don't feel that you are to "blame" or that you are going to make your son "unwell", you can't catch anxiety (thank goodness).

Do you feel trapped by the panic or does it make you want to run away? I find anxierty makes me want to run in the opposite direction, but I feel suffocated.  Does that make sense?

The Paxil may not be the right med for you.  Sometimes we have to try a few before we get the right one, so maybe have a chat with your doc about alternatives.  Do you take anything else?

I find that when I know my anxiety is going to be bad, I try and distract myself with a book, DVD or I do some journalling about how I feel.  Would any of this be useful for you when the sun starts to set? I'm not a mum, but I know that it's a tough job, especially with anxiety around.  You are going through a whole lot and still putting your son first.  That makes you a great mother.

I hope we can help you out here with advice and suugestions, again, welcome, Hunnypye, I hope you like it hear with us, please keep us posted.


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou so much for your comments. It's nice to know that I can actualy talk to someone about this stuff. I do understand the need to run away but stay at home. I am sometimes taking OTC sleep aids so I can sleep. THanks for your suggestions.

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 6/10/2008 10:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jake, thanks for your positive post, and welcome to HW! If you want to start your own post and introduce yourself that would be good.  Or you can just read through some of our stories/challenges if you like.  Again, welcome.

Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/11/2008 6:08 AM (GMT -7)   

thirstyforchrist and Jacob,

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P forum.  It is always good to see new members and you will find this the best site on the web.

Just a reminder, please review out rules and guidelines.  We ask this of all new members.

Again a Warm Welcome.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/11/2008 8:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to the both of you

HW is a great support system and a great group of ppl are right here to help you out if they can

Keep posting

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
 
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
         Be Well All and Stay With Us We are Here To Help
                               LYN 
   
 
                   
 


thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/11/2008 9:33 AM (GMT -7)   
I have had anxiety my whole life! As far as depression, that started when i was around 11. I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Massive Depressive Disorder. I think I may have the Anxiety disorder and that is what caused these other things. My doctor won't perscribe me anything like Valium or Xanax for severe panic attacks. I think it's because he thinks I will get addicted to it. I turn to OTC sleep aids instead but then I have to go to sleep right after I take them. THis is not convinient since I have a wild two year old son. I need something more. I wish there was some way to just overcome all this! I am feeling really helpless. My life couldn't be better really but I am never happy. I don't remember a time in my life when everything was just okay. Not even for a moment. Will I ever get better?
Plus I struggle with an eating disorder that hasn't been diagnosed. I obsess over my weight and starve myself, then I binge. Its a terrible cycle that I don't want my son to see. I need help.

thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/11/2008 3:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay somebody.  I need some help.  My grandma just called and said that my son has been running a fever and crying all day.  (He spent the night with her last night)  I am totally freakin out right now.  Please somebody. help.  I don't think I can deal with this

crying
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 6/11/2008 3:32 PM (GMT -7)   
hun you can do this!

I know it is always scary when your babies are sick. That is one thing I always hate! I fear the worst when they are sick but your a mommy and you will be strong thru it and be fine and come out on the other side. A fever is not always what you should be overly worried about. Its whats causeing the fever. Find out the other symptoms he has and figure out if he needs to see a doc. I have 2 kids myself and have been thru alot of fevers in my days so if you need some help or advice im more than willing to let you know how I do things with my kids and help in any way i can.
You'll be ok and so will your son!
Puttin' the Fun in Dis-fun-ction!


thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/11/2008 8:33 PM (GMT -7)   
THanks yall. He had a fever of 104.3 farnht, but it's down now to 101.7 fnht. We are piggy-backing childrens Motrin and Tylenol. Every two hours. I think I may need something more than medication. Tonight while we were at church I started crying hystericaly and then I couldn't breathe. Plus I got really weak and dizzy etc. I want to be able to take care of my boy like he needs me to. I feel like I cant do that as long as I can't even take care of myself. He deserves so much better than me. I love him soooo much it takes my breath away. I want the very best for him. I'm afraid I'm not enough. Thanks for all the support from yall. I really appriciate it. And yes, Crying, I would love any advice you have. Mommys always know best. Well every mommy but me....

thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/11/2008 9:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm making him an appointment first thing in the morning. I just wanna tell yall that I am only 19. I'll be 20 in July. I got pregnant at 16, and married my husband at 17. I'm young, I know. It's really hard for me because I think since I'm so young, maybe I wont' be a good enough momma to my son. He is my everything. My motivation, my inspiration, my heart. Anyway, I just wanted to let ya'll in on a little more about myself. Thanks so much for all the advice. I'm loving this site mods. THis is awsome. I've never found such a helpful site before this. Thankyou so much for everything!

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 6/12/2008 2:29 AM (GMT -7)   
You sound like you have your son's welfare as a top priority, and that makes you a great mom in my book! I sure hope he's feeling better soon, so that you can take a chance to let some of your anxiety go.

Is there a time of day when he naps or is in daycare or sometime when you could devote some time to yourself? Taking the time to do something just for you could help you to feel stronger, and then you'll have that much more to offer your little boy.

I'm not a mom either, but I know it's *far* easier said than done to find a few minutes alone, especially with a 2-year-old.

You're in our thoughts and prayers!

percycat

thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/12/2008 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks percycat, He seems to be feeling better this morning. I've got to call the doc when the office opens. And usually when he naps I try to do something for me but I end up feeling guilty. Like I should be doing something around the house, or something more productive. ?? Thanks for all the support though. I need to hear it. Love love love!!!!!!!!!!!!
"There is hope for every man, a solid place where we can stand, in this dry in weary land, there is hope for every man... Jesus is hope for every man"  -Casting Crowns


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 6/12/2008 11:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Try to remind yourself that taking time for you, to revive and rest, *IS* something productive. Even though there may be laundry or dishes or other chores to be done around the house, if you let yourself get run down - physically or emotionally - you won't be doing yourself any favors. A good balance is so important (says she who has very little - LOL).

Hugs, percycat

itsokay
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 6/12/2008 12:56 PM (GMT -7)   
That's an important point, about getting rest. The anxiety is so exhausting, as is the parenting of a 2 year old! Of course, it's hard for other to understand why you need rest from anxiety...

thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/12/2008 4:50 PM (GMT -7)   
THanks yall.  I will try to keep these things in mind.  My son has a viral infection in his mouth.  I think he caught it from my neice.  He feels much better today though.  Thanks for all your concern and support. 
"There is hope for every man, a solid place where we can stand, in this dry in weary land, there is hope for every man... Jesus is hope for every man"  -Casting Crowns

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