Update on the Situation

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/25/2008 9:58 AM (GMT -6)   
 Hey all,
    I haven't been able to write on here lately because I was afraid of what my husband might see.  Right now we are seperated and I am staying with my Daddy and Michelle (my stepmom).  I got a job at a grocery store and I love it.  My son is fine and dandy.  He doesn't seem to care at all that we are not at home.  He loves Papaws house!  Thank God.  So I still don't know what to do about all this mess.  I keep having these dreams that I go back to my husband and things go back to the way they were and I end up crying and screaming.  I don't know if that's maybe a message from God or if it's just my fears getting into my dreams. ?  But I am much stronger than I thought I was.  I can do life on my  own.  Without a man.  I just don't really want to.  I still love my husband and care for him very much but I don't want to live like we were living.  I want a real change.  I want an abuse free marriage that is full of love and compassion.  Is that reallly possible in this life?  I finaly let my son go see my husband and his parents.  I figured that if they tried anything funny (ie taking him from me) that all I'd have to do is call the police and I'd get him back.  (already been checked on)  So right now I'm just trying to find me.  Because I went straight from being 17 and living at home, to being 17 and getting married and living with my husband.  I've never been on my own.  I've never thought of myself as anything but a daughter, wife, and mother.  But I'm finding out that I am much more than that.  I am going to be doing alot of praying and soul searching during the next month or so.  I don't know when or if I'll go home but I do know that I am not ready to now.  So that's pretty much all that's going on here.  Any advice would be very helpful.  Refer to my other posts if you don't get the whole story.  It's too long for me to re-write here.
 Also, my MD put me on Buspar? Has anyone been on this?  And if so what effect did it have on you?  Helpful or no?  Thanks everyone for all the love and support that is here on HW.  Love to all!!!!
"There is hope for every man, a solid place where we can stand, in this dry in weary land, there is hope for every man... Jesus is hope for every man"  -Casting Crowns

Georgie Girl
Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 6/25/2008 11:26 AM (GMT -6)   


Sounds like you've taken positive steps to help yourself and your son.

I took buspar for a few weeks for anxiety.  Did not seem to touch it.


Georgie Girl

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/25/2008 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   

Hey girlfriend......................

I am proud of you and I know this is very difficult for you.  Lean on us  and we will support you.  Know that you are capable of being independent.

Judge with your mind, not your heart: "I am trying to contemplate my future, and I know that my husband is abusive and mean. So why do I wonder if I did the right thing in leaving him? You did the right thing at this time, you moved yourself and your son to a safe place.

Remember the bad times (but don't forget the good): If there are moments when you want to run back to him because you feel as though you can't survive on your own financially (or emotionally), you have to stay strong, Just think of the worst things he did or said to you.

Whatever you do you have my support but I pray for your safety as well as your sons safety.




Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
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Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 6/25/2008 12:09 PM (GMT -6)   

I am so proud of your strength! You're doing well in a very tough situation.

I know you want your relationship with your husband to be a healthy one again, because you love him. Just remember that it will take both of you genuinely working toward that common goal for it to happen. Painful though it might be for you, if he's not able to recognize his part and work to mend your relationship, then you will not have the partnership you want and deserve.

In my own case, guys would yo-yo back and forth to me during several "breakups." It turns out that they didn't really want to work on fixing things; they just needed somebody to pay attention to them again. The easiest somebody for that was me, over and over. If your husband wants to reconcile at some point, try to see clearly whether he's really willing to work at it. I don't want you to go through what I did.

Love and prayers,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1009
   Posted 6/25/2008 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Good luck with everything. Glad to hear you are getting out of a tough situation. Buspar was the first drug that was prescribed to me and it made me worse, but it works different for different people. It's supposed to be for generalized anxiety. It doesn't work for PPD I was told and experienced.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 707
   Posted 6/25/2008 12:36 PM (GMT -6)   
It took a lot of strenght to take the positive step you did and you and your son are in a safe place.  You need to sit down and really thing things thru and take things one step at a time.  Know that we are here for you and sending you prayers that everything works out.

Thou shalt smile and have a nice day.  It frustrates those who have other plans for thee.
Anxiety 2007; IBS 2004; Chronic Hives 2002.
Medications:  Allegra, Zantac, Xanax, Darvocet.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/25/2008 1:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so glad you are doing this, girl! This is a big step for you!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 6/25/2008 10:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey TFC,
 I think you are very brave, this time apart will help you to make some decisions and maybe to learn a little bit more about who you are without being wife/mother etc. I'm so very glad that your son is fine with this and that the job is going well. I am thinking of you, putting you in my prayers, and trusting that things will work out for you. Bless honey, keep us posted.
Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 6/26/2008 3:26 AM (GMT -6)   
You are INDEED very brave. Wow. Impressed.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 6/26/2008 8:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Thankyou everyone for all the support and advice. I love all of you! I am still doing good so no worries. I have found that since I have been gone my anxiety has eased tremendiously. I don't know exactly what that means yet. I will continue coming here and getting support as well as giving it! Thanks again all!
"There is hope for every man, a solid place where we can stand, in this dry in weary land, there is hope for every man... Jesus is hope for every man"  -Casting Crowns

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/26/2008 1:55 PM (GMT -6)   
What good news! I hope the job is taking some of your anxiety away, too. It certainly is giving you something else to focus on. Hope it's working out ok!

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/26/2008 2:05 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so hoping your job will take the a/p away or at least ease it alot for you
Plz keep us up to date
I am really PROUD of you
Baby steps do work as ypou have proven
Thanks fopr posting
IT does hekp others to read of the successes that can happen..........
Take care
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
Moderator @ Anxiety Panic..Alzheimer's..Co mod @ Crohns
                               FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
         Be Well All and Stay With Us We are Here To Help

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