New here, and in a bad way...

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likethesea
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/27/2008 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I am glad I came across this forum.

I have been suffering with panic disorder most of my adult life, but for the past 5 or 6 years, it was manageable. Recently, however, it has taken over my life.

I have obsessive thoughts about going crazy (i.e. hearing voices, doing something hurtful to somebody else, et cetera) and it is awful. I think about it constantly, to the point that it's almost like I'm wishing it on myself. I know logically that there is no reason to feel this way, but that does me little good. I have trouble traveling (I live in a big city and use public transportation) and going out places. I have insomnia once or twice a week and have trouble functioning the next day. Plus, I am home alone a lot and that gives me WAY too much time to think.

I am staunchly against prescription medication (for myself, anyway...I know it helps many people) and am trying to get my life together without it. I have no insurance and no extra money for a therapist. I have heard about CBT recently and have started the Mood Gym course online, so hopefully that will help. I hate whining, but I think that keeping this stuff to myself is part of what makes me feel so awful. I am blessed with a wonderful, supportive partner who knows about my problems, but I feel terrible burdening her with this stuff all the time.

I'm really tired, really scared, and really sick of suffering. Thanks for listening.

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 6/27/2008 6:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello LikeTheSea and welcome to healing well.

We are a really supportive and caring group of people here and I am so glad you have joined us.  Anxiety Is exhausting, and insomnia just makes everything worse. I'm glad you have joined MoodGym, it is a great resource. The fear of going crazy is really common among anxiety sufferers (you are in good company!)...but it was pointed out to me by a therapist that if I have the capacity to worry about going crazy, then I most certainly am not. Hopefully the CBT approach will help to get rid of this though pattern of yours.

I'm glad you have a wonderful supportive partner who understands you. That's a really valuable thing to have. Do you have any interests that might help you distract yourself from these repetetive thoughts? I appreciate that you don't like travelling, but is there something locally that you could do? I go to the local gym and just sweat my anxiety out most days. It's my therapy. I also read a lot of fiction and do volunteer work. It gets me out of my head, and into living. I hope this helps you out some, and again, welcome to HW.

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


nyliz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 6/27/2008 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Different things will work for different people as I'm sure you know. I tried dealing with my anxiety without meds but found that I feel much better with them and for me it's a quality of life thing... but to each their own. I understand that not having health insurance makes everything harder. Many people are very successful using various CBT techniques and I hope that you are able to teach yourself how to deal with stress in different ways so that you can live your life anxiety free!!! (wouldn't that be so wonderful:)

Please keep posting, this is a fantastic place where everyone really cares. You will receive such great support here. God Bless!!

Liz

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/29/2008 8:42 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello and Welcome to HealingWell,

I am Kitt and if you hang out here enough you may see this posted for others too, but it is one I use for myself when I start to feel the anxiety taking over. Stick with us and keep posting as we are here for you.

Remember this:

It does not matter if you feel frightened, disorientated, dreamlike, or unsteady. These feelings are an exaggeration of the normal bodily reactions to stress.

Just because you have these sensations doesn't mean you are crazy. These feelings are just unpleasant and frightening, not dangerous. Nothing worse will happen to you.

Let your feelings come. . Don't run away from panic. When you feel panic build up, take a deep breath and as you breathe out, let go. Keep trying. Stay there almost as if you were floating in space. Don't fight the feeling of panic. Accept it; you can deal with it.

Try to make yourself as comfortable as possible without escaping. If you're on a street, lean against a post or a store wall. If you're at the cosmetics department of a store, find a quieter counter or corner. If you're in a boutique, tell the salesperson you don't feel well and want to sit for a while. Do not jump into a car and go home in fear.

Don't indulge in stinkin thinking, "Why can't I be normal ? Why does this have to happen to me?" Just accept what is happening to you. If you do this, what you fear most will not happen.

Think about what is really happening to your body at this moment. Do not think "Something terrible is going to happen. I must get out." Repeat to yourself "I am ok, I will not die or lose control."

Try to distract yourself from what is going on inside you. Look at your surroundings. See the other people around you. .They are with you, not against you.

When the panic subsides, let your body go loose, take a deep breath, and go on with your day. Remember, each time you cope with panic and anxiety, you reduce your fear.


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


itsokay
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 6/29/2008 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Sounds like you are doing the work you need to do. That's great. I think you are totally right that keeping it to yourself makes it harder and probably makes the fear of being crazy even worse. When you;re too isolated, you don't get to know how many people go through it, too.

I felt great relief to tell some family members this month, instead of hiding it. It ligjhtens the burden. Of course, many people don't get it, but even so, it's great to not have to hide and make excuses for not going to events. And those people that don't get it turn out to not be as important to your state of mind as alllll the others that then tell you that THEY also suffer from some sort of anxiety.

likethesea
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/29/2008 3:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the very welcoming responses. It is helpful to know there's other people going through similar things.

Nervy: yeah, I have other interests. The problem I have is with finding the motivation to pursue them. I'm so tired and on edge most of the time that it's hard to find energy to do things that I like. I find myself looking for things to distract me from my anxiety (movies, video games, et cetera), rather than looking for better things to engage me. It's another of my bad habits that I need to work on, but you're absolutely right.

The workout thing is much the same--it's an issue of finding energy. Overall, I'm not in terrible shape, and I enjoy bicycling a good deal, but motivation continues to be a problem. I used to have a membership to a gym, and it was indeed very helpful. Maybe I should look into that again.

Nyliz: Thanks for the warm welcome. I'm definitely gonna pursue the CBT thing further.

Kitt: Thanks for posting that reminder list. Even though it makes sense in calmer moments, that stuff is hard to remember when you're panicking. I used some things from that list today, in fact, and they helped out. Thanks for helping out. :-)

So far this forum has been very helpful. I look forward to contributing more here!

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 6/29/2008 3:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello and welcome!

I'm glad you've found this forum in your search for support. It's really been a rock of strength for me. Being able to post with others who understand because they've experienced the same thing makes the weight of anxiety so much less.

I regularly see a CBT therapist, and her help has also made a lot of difference in how I handle the issues that stir up my anxiety. I hope MoodGym works well for you. And it's great that you've got a supportive partner; having someone nearby to remind you of the techniques you're too stressed to remember is a big plus.

percycat

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 6/29/2008 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   

LikeThe Sea,

I am so glad you are here with us! I know anxiety can drain energy big time, but I find that time at the gym is great to burn off that adrenaline (yeesh!). As for playing games etc to distract, there should be No guilt there. If it works, stick with it..

I love computer games and silly TV shows that keep my mind away from anxiety. Keep us posted on how you are doing now please. x

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


likethesea
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/29/2008 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hoping12 said...
Hi.
I would like to promote to you the idea of the exercise and good nutrition.(good nutrition to me means as much raw,living food as possible)
It has helped me with anxiety in the past.
Hope you will consider it.
Brian


That's interesting that you mention this, Brian. I am vegan and am looking into further dietary changes, like some sort of detox or raw diet, to help stabilize my anxiety. Suggestions on resources?

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 6/29/2008 8:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Hiya,

I never quite made it to vegan, but I did do vegetarian for a long time (I gave in - I have a tuna weakness!). The main thing I know is that getting your vitamin B12 is extremely important for staving off anxiety. Spinach, broccolli and silverbeet are great ways to supplement iron as well. I'm sure other people will be along to help soon. All the best, and good on you for being vegan, I wish I was that strong!

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 

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