I know how running into someone who used to be an important person in your life can trigger anxiety but take that deep breath and remember it is in the past.
It is over and let go of it. If you run into this toxic person remember he cannot hurt you it is only the old feelings surfacing so stay in the moment. Let the thought into your head and then let it pass through and continue on with staying in the moment. You can do this.
I know that going over and over something in my mind after it's happened doesn't do any good. It just makes it worse. I can actually inflate an event after the fact and then it causes me more anxiety than the actual event did.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression *~*
Please don't let him re-open those old fears and wounds, especially not shame, you should not feel shame. He should. Do not let him have power over you again, Having said that I recently had a very unpleasant blast from the past with an ex, and I couldn't believe how quickly I fell back into old patterns and thoughts, guilt, love, etc with him. He was/is a master manipulator and he almost had me running back with apologies. Sheesh!
I am so glad you have gotten in to see your therapist, I hope she can help you come back to the here and know and not sink back into any negative places. You deserve so much better than that. Know that your HW family is rallying around you okay. We love you.
Compassion is a great way to get over past hurts, but don't beat yourself up if you don't get it done in one day! There is a lot to process, you can have compassion, doesn't mean that the way he treated you was okay and all should be forgiven. Be compassionate with you Hugs honey. You are doing amazing.
Thanks so much for sharing that story, you are such an inspirational woman. We don't choose to be abused, but we can certainly attract abusers with low self esteem, or patterns of the past. You are a tough one now! Hugs.