Anxiety after therapy visit?

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Nanners
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 7/29/2008 4:52 PM (GMT -7)   
I just had a great appt with my therapist, but as soon as I left I felt the anxiety creeping up on me.  She is is going on vacation for a couple of weeks and I wont be able to get in to see her again until about 8-21.  Do you think that could be it?  We talked about how I cannot control the choices my kids make and I cannot let them use me as their therapist.  Sounds good right?  So why the anxiety?  This is a weird one for me.  Any thoughts?
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


Marie-Claire
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Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 7/29/2008 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Makes sense to me Nannners.... the thought maybe of not having her to alleviate your anxiety or be there to support you could have been enough to create some anxiety in you. I know exactly how it feels to have your kids use you as their therapists. My youngest daughter, who had my beautiful grandaughter , is only 18 and presently lives with her partner... the baby's dad! They are both Taurus... let me tell you , stubborn, stubborn, stubborn... ! if you say white, she / he will say black just to argue. I love her dearly and she has a great sense of humor which has always gotten us through rough patches... She always had a mind of her own.. and no matter what mom might say, she has to find out for herself what kind of pickle she can get herself in next. She's a good girl and great mom... but lately , she and her partner have been fighting a lot. Well she calls me or comes over crying , and telling me all about it. Now , I had an abusive dad, and abusive husband, . If you remember I had to scoot with my girls with nothing but the clothes on our backs ... so my whole life has been about abuse, and how to get myself and my children past it.... The minute I see her crying, everything comes flashing back to me. I can't be objective if my life depended on it... plus the minute she leaves I have panic attacks , flashbacks, and can't stop crying... can't sleep etc etc. I've told her to please find a councelor that she can confide in but she hasn't done that yet... she says, "mom you've always been there for me.. I've always come to you with everything... " So I completely understand... it isn't weird at all. From one mama to the next , I think we need another category on this forum: mothers of teen-aged or grown children? what do you think ?
completely understanding Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis
 
 


Nanners
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 7/29/2008 6:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Mary you got that right. The daughters who are giving me grief are 30 & 29. They call me about some drama in their lives and I fret about it and they go on their merry way, not concerned that they have made me sick and I am worrying about them. Well thats gonna stop. It has too, my health and my marriage with my husband has to come first now. They are big girls and need to figure out their own lives. Yes easier said than done, but this time they made me mad, so maybe it will get easier to say no now.

Thanks for your response, you really were helpful. Tell that daughter, yes I have always been there, but I need me and my health to come first. My doctor gave me a recommendation on a book about how to stop being co-dependent. Think I am going to check it out:)
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 7/29/2008 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Nanners,

It makes complete rational sense to be worried when your therapist isn't going to be around to bounce things off. When I first started therapy my counsellor would call me when I got home to make sure I hadn't freaked on the way (common!).Don't worry too much..just try not to get over-anxious, this will be a great time to prove to yourself how far you have come. :-)

As for those children, well I am SO guilty of doing that to my own mother so I hang my head in shame...sorry mum!

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Howlyncat
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/30/2008 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
My friends.......Nanners and Mary
Yes it does make a whole lot of sense to me as well
I get the dang same thing
My son calls from Alberta to me nightly about his wife and kids and ALL the probs they are having
He is 34

Cait and her friends ALL come here to talk about all the probs as well .
It is virtually a teen haven me thinks ( BTW they eat me outta house n home)

I think too not having YOUR therapist around is going to cause that a/p to rise more than normal....
If you want add me to your msn or yahoo and you too Mary then wow we could yak the day away about all that our kids come to us with ..........lol
 
I am definitely a mom that cait tells all to and son as well



** it is great that you and kids have that communication BUT she also should know it stresses you out to the max IMHO and can induce flares.........I am not saying hurt her with words or push her away just tell her some days you just cannot listen as it gets you to upset and streesed out**

Hey I am serious about yakking on msn or yahoo you 2
It is so funny you know Cait is away and I always have a houseful of teens ...
WELL I cannot wait for her and her friends to be around again Lordy I miss the noise and laughter they have when all here

Also I think our kids know we are the ones they can tell anything and everything too and so they continue to do so ...........see what we created lol
But they can also take advantage of us ALWAYS being there ya know
WE have to use toughlove at times I know it hurts but yes our health does have to Come FIRST IMHO

Know I am thinking abotu you's both and I DO get it .
All of it .
Take care my friends
Luvs ...
Lyn in a quiet house .........waiting for the noise and confusion to begin again.


  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 7/30/2008 1:25:16 PM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/30/2008 12:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Sweet Megs
No hanging head in shame
Just remember sometimes us Mom's need ME time too .......

Love ya tons

S.I.S.
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 7/30/2008 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
You know Lyn, my therapist told me yesterday to just tell them that I am sorry they are having these troubles, and to recommend they look into seeing a therapist.

It's kinda funny, but I remembered yesterday how when I used to call my mom because my girls were fighting or I was having a problem with my ex, and she would always say "I'm sorry your having a hard time, I wish I had some answers for you". I remember I used to think, she is never there for me and I would get mad at her. But now I understand what she was doing, making me be an adult and deal with my problems myself. Something I think my adult children need to do for themselves now too. So Mom was alot smarter than I thought:) I am going to have to tell her that too.

But I also know that while my therapist is enjoying her vacation, I will always have you guys here. I just didn't get why I got anxious when we had such a good session:) I do think it must have been some subconsious worry about her not being available. Just a weird experience. But I am fine now, go figure.

Thanks for always being there Lyn!! ((BIG HUGS))
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/31/2008 2:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Nannaers
I miss the wisdom of mom and dad
YA I have to admit they did same to me and I grew up just fine and I am a survivor because of them

Knows I loves ya hun and I will be here for you as will others

Love and God Bless

LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
     Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You
 
 
 
                    


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 7/31/2008 6:50 PM (GMT -7)   

Lyn, Nanners, Mary,

You are just amazing! You should start charging! You would make a mint. Nah! I know you do it from the heart..

(((((((((((thanks to all mothers)))))))))))))))

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 7/31/2008 8:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Nanners,

I'm usually a little nervous when I know that my therapist will be gone for a while. Mostly, I can get by even with every other week appointments, but sometimes, what's going on is a little uncertain, and I know I'll have tackled some things I'd love to have her feedback on and have them be over and done with - good or bad - before I get to talk about it with her next. I don't feel I need her constant approval, but rather it's nice to have her critiquing and deep digging of what I'm thinking and feeling and why. Having to tackle a choice and hoping that I can critique myself without missing something important is a little nerve-wracking.

percycat
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