new to this forum, not to HW, or to panic attacks/anxiety

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closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/3/2008 3:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all. This is one of the few forums I haven't posted in since being a member here. I've suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for years...over 10, but the last couple of years the panic as been under control for the most part and have only dealt with anxiety. This all changed this past week. Had my first major panic attack in years the other day and boy did I not miss them. I'm not someone who has 5 min panic attacks like some people say...I have them for much longer. Afterwards I am drained for the rest of the day/night. I was so bad I couldn't even get off the couch to get to my klonopin. Finally I did and made it through in one piece. Now last night my severe anxiety started up. Some anxiety some paranoia I guess you could say. Nights have always been the worst for me as a lot of bad stuff happened to me during childhood at night and then in my early 20s had lots of attempted break ins and thefts at night so you can imagine how scary it is for me at night. Last night I could not sleep...kept hearing noises and kept thinking someone was trying to break in. When I would dose off I would have horrible nightmares and wake up even more scared. Finally fell asleep around 7am and stayed asleep. In my early 20s I would stay up all night with the lights on til daybreak. I'm afraid now that I might go back to that. I don't know what brought this on again. I even took an extra klonopin last night and that didn't even help. The only thing I can think of is that they added risperdal to my med cocktail a few weeks ago. I was on it before and never had problems and like I said it was a few weeks ago so I would figure this would've came on sooner. I have therapy with a new therapist on Tues so maybe that will help, but I'm terrified of the next couple of nights. sad I don't know what to do.
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


peacesoul
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 8/3/2008 4:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, welcome to A/P.

From reading your signature, you have a lot of health issues. Having a lot to deal with surely puts you on edge.
I never feared the night, so don't quite understand, but all I can ask is, do you live alone? Is your home locked safely? What is your greatest fear at night?
Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
 
where we take it one panic attack at a time
 
 
 
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places


badfish
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 8/3/2008 4:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome :p

 


EmersonDav06
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 8/3/2008 4:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel for you, My panic attacks aren't quick either, they seem to stew for hours untill i have a series of them. It's been a while since I've had a really bad panic attack but I just can't seem to get over them and deal..it's a tough battle but we've all got the get through it and live our lives. just letting you know your not alone in this fight.

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/3/2008 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for the welcome guys. *hugs*
 
peacesoul...I don't live alone anymore. I did for years though. I'll explain this a little more after I go into what I'm afraid of. For the most part I'm scared of people breaking in and attacking me/killing me/etc. As a child I was exposed to a lot of violence and unsafe situations mostly at night which has lead different therapists to agree that because of how early on the violence started I never truly learned how to feel safe in any situation really, but more at night. I could go on about my fears during the day, but I'll just focus on the night ones now. So on to your other questions...I don't live alone anymore. I did from ages 19-25. My boyfriend moved in with me and it's going on two years soon. Now you would think I would feel safer with someone here...now I fear for BOTH of us. As for safety and locks and stuff...here's where you can really tell how bad my issues are. I have sufficient locks on my doors, I have a security system, AND cameras at each door with sound so I can see who's around the doors and listen for people. I'm afraid to have weapons in the house because I feel like if I went to use them whoever had broken in could easily take them away from me and use them against me.
 
as for the health issues I'm sure this has played a part in my recent panic/anxiety. my health has just been getting worse and worse and I can't take much more.
 
badfish...thanks for the welcome.
 
EmersonDav06...sorry we both have to go through this. It helps knowing I'm not alone, but I hate that we have to go through it at all.
 
another issue I have...driving. I haven't driven in years. I keep my license valid just in case. I don't own a car, but the boyfriend does so I could use that whenever. my main fear with driving is that I will crash and either hurt someone else or myself. was in therapy for years trying to get over this, but we've officially given up on it for now. we've tried having me drive and hope that if I have a panic attack I would get past it and then feel safer driving, but instead the opposite has happened. I've crashed. Side swipped trees, hit parked cars, ran over curbs, rear ended people. All because I'm in a panic and can't control myself. then we tried benzos while driving and in order for me to be calm enough to drive I have to be pretty drugged up which means I'm in no condition to drive. another fear about driving...the car breaking down and not being able to get help. tried to get over this with a cell phone and AAA, but doesn't make me feel any better. I'm also a terrible passenger. I get worked up very easily if we hit a big bump or they have to hit the brakes real fast...I mean I cry and everything.
 
gosh I have so many issues. UGH!
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


peacesoul
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 8/4/2008 6:28 AM (GMT -7)   
You have a lot of issues, but none that cannot be solved.

Do you have a job?
Have you been to therapy and for how long?
Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
 
where we take it one panic attack at a time
 
 
 
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places


thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/4/2008 7:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Closure,
I think we met on the Bipolar forum a while ago. I start getting panicky when the sun starts to set and I have been that way my whole life. Then I will either go into a full blown panic attack (which lasts for hours) or I will drug myself enough to go to bed. But still. This is no way to live is it? I wish I could give you some good advice but I am in a desperate place myself right now. You are no alone my friend. I am just holding on for dear life. Literally. I think the more that is going on in our lives, the harder it is to deal with the anxiety. I hope you find some peace. If you do, let me know. I am so desperate I'll just about try anything right now. Love to you Rachel
"There is hope for every man, a solid place where we can stand, in this dry in weary land, there is hope for every man... Jesus is hope for every man"  -Casting Crowns


closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/4/2008 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
peacesoul...I don't have a job. I've been on disability for my depression/panic since 2004. As for therapy I've been in and out of it since 2001. tomorrow I meet with a new therapist so we'll see how that goes. I had to leave my old therapist because I was switching practices...you have to see a pdoc and therapist at the same location, you can't go to two different places, so I've been going through therapists like crazy trying to find one that "fits" with me. my pdoc has a lot of faith in this time so we'll see what happens.

thirstyforchrist...yes we did meet on the bipolar forum. if I find a way out of my hole I'll be sure to post a how to, but I don't think that's going to happen for a while. *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


peacesoul
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 8/4/2008 8:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Closure, I think seeing a therapist is going to be the best move. It is very tough to find a therapist that fits.

You mention you may also have celiac disease, you do know when the body is not being fed properly, the brain is not working properly.

Do you have a diet high in sugar? Do you eat a clean diet, with lots of whole foods (no fast food or processed foods)?
Diet is SUPER important to healing

By the way, I have Lupus and Lyme, so I know how hard this is
Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
 
where we take it one panic attack at a time
 
 
 
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/4/2008 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Closure,

This is Kitt and I just wanted to say hello and welcome to the A & P  forum.  I have been gone for a few days :-)

You have received great input from the members as always, they are the best.  Keep posting and I will be here to support you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/4/2008 12:49 PM (GMT -7)   
peacesoul...yeah I've been wondering if my physical conditions have been contributing to my mental issues at the moment. I've been really dehydrated...been in the hospital 3 times for fluids...and I've lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. Like a pound a day. I'm overweight so any weight loss is good, but not at this rate and not when I'm not actively trying to lose weight. So I have become afraid that I'm not absorbing nutrients properly since I'm sick all the time.

my diet is back and forth really. I try to eat healthy, but at the moment I just try to find what won't make me sicker than I already am. unfortunately I haven't really found a pattern or whatever. pretty much everything makes me sick. :-(

Kitt...hi and thanks for the welcome. when I can I've been reading some of the posts here and you guys seem like one big happy family in this forum. it's nice to find such a supportive place. *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


peacesoul
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 8/4/2008 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Closure, I won't lecture you, but I think if you clean up your diet, your health/life will improve.

Part of the fight in the anxiety battle is part mental but mostly physical
Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
 
where we take it one panic attack at a time
 
 
 
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places


closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/4/2008 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for skipping the lecture lol. I do my best when it comes to food...I mean I've lowered my cholesterol and triglycerides in the past year, lost some weight before I started getting really sick...the healthy way, so I'm doing my part...some days are just harder than others and we can't all be perfect 100% of the time. before all the stress in my life started adding up my anxiety and panic were in check and so was my eating. with money problems, health problems stacking up for me, my dad being diagnosed with serious health problems, no family support, etc...my panic has just come back stronger than ever. I just have to get through all this...start to process the stress in better ways and hope that when all the testing is done on me for my digestive problems we will have answers and ways to make me better.

while I agree meds aren't always the answer or the cure all I have some serious mental problems that aren't all fixable with therapy. I have hallucinations, severe paranoia, (minor psychosis) and bipolar disorder on top of the panic and PTSD...the last two are able to be treated with mostly therapy and lifestyle changes, but the others are not. so I just try to take it one day at a time, work with my pdocs for my meds and all my new docs, and my therapists.
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!

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