too scarted to live but don't want to leave the earth

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curt31
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I just want to give up.  a month and 24 hour anxiety and ocd. Now, I have been through this before and I got through it. It seems to last for 3 months or more.  I have the sense of impending doom and hopelessness. I have no motivation except to obsess over my hopelessness. Now, I have been working 34 straight days 12 hour shifts with no breaks. So maybe going home seeing family will break this terrible patch. I am just so tired of the tiredness, anxiety, feeling of dread and what
if questions.  I just feel like I am going to die and that scares me to no end. I take my meds and I try to just let the thoughts pass but they are so strong.  Will thgis bad patch run its course like all the others. Seems like in my early 30's I got a few tough patches a year, they would last a month to a month and a half.  But the past three years I get one a year.  It lasts 3 months and then I am done for the year. Seems like I learned to handle it better. Just wish I could stop it from hurting so long

thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   
I feel ya Curt. I know what you mean about not wanting to live but not wanting to die. There is so much to live for. But we cant see it through our haze of depression and anxiety. I find that if I have a goal or purpose, like my son, I work towards that and it helps some. It gets me out of bed in the morning. WHich is huge for me. I have dealt with terrible anxiety since I was 5 years old. I'm 20 now and on Paxil. I think it may be working too well during the day and not enough at night. Are you on meds? I forgot if you have said that already. Maybe you should see a therapist or counselor for your problems. Maybe that would help you deal with them quicker. I hope you find some relief. Just remember that we all have a purpose in this life. We are here to help and be helped. We are here to do something important. Focus on all of the good things you want in life. Try and make achievable goals and pursue them. Hopefully that will motivate you. Plus if your thinking about a goal it may ease the anxious thoughts. Love to you!!
Rachel
 " When you feel like you're alone in your sadness, and no one in this whole world cares, and you want to get away from the madness, you just call my name and I'll be there..."   Third Day


badfish
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 8/11/2008 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Curt, afew weeks ago i was feeling similar to u, thirsty wen she says sometimes u cant see thru the haze of depression. I went to the doc n got him to increase my meds I think u shud do the same n remember thy take two wks to work. If i was u i wud take aday off work to jus sleep. Think your jus stressed out and need to increase your meds so ur able to handle the stress better or decrease the stress by working less.

I used to work 70hour weeks it was fine for awhile but lack of sleeps gets u bad n all the little tasks u have todo build up on u.

Take it easy dude hope your feeling better soon.
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/11/2008 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Curt,

What have you done in the past to make it through these episodes, what has helped you?

Have you worked through your issues with a therapist?  I see your work pattern as absolutely grueling and I wonder if this is not triggering your anxiety.  You are not getting enough rest, you are away from your family and I would venture to guess your nutrition is not the best right now.

Cognitive Therapy is a very effective way of understanding how you think, and therefore feel.  Cognitive Therapy helps us to explore our underlying belief patterns that result in negative, irrational and unhealthy thoughts.  It then allows us to explore our thoughts and replace them with more useful ones in order to manage our emotions more effectively.Take a look at this site and consider working through it at your own pace. It is free and you can do this right from your computer.

MoodGYM http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/

You have my support.

Kitt


 

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oldsoul84
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 8/16/2008 2:09 AM (GMT -7)   
i know what u mean, its been bout 3 months for me 24hr anxiety, thinking, obsessing, first one ive had though so dunno what to expect.. or what comes next, hope i dont have another obsession, dunno if this is just a one off or not?? its good that u know ur patterns though, that must be somewhat relieving, and seems like youve had a few and gotten passed them, what things do you find help when going through the obsession stage, or do you just wait untill it passes? do u notice anything helping in particular?

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/16/2008 5:06 AM (GMT -7)   
It sounds like you are living in anticapatory anxiety hades and
you can do many techniques to get you thru this
I am OCD as well and the Moodgyms lil sis has posted has helped me
I was just like you at one time
Hopig you give it a try

Keep us posted
LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
               Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
 
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