I have been dealing with something for the past few months. I'm not sure if its the cause of my anxiety or the result of my anxiety.
First off, I'd like to say I've had a wonderful life. Of course bad things have happened but I feel as though I've overcome them all and learned from my past experiences. But lately, I honestly feel as though I'm depressed. I'm emotionally & physically drained. Fatigue most of the time. Brain fogs and what not. I easily snap & get angry at small things. I have no patience lately. It's so hard to concentrate on anything, it will probably take me 10+ extra minutes just to type this post than it should. I feel so out of it and just BLEH all the time. But the thing is.. I have no idea why. I don't have anything to be sad or depressed about! So many wonderful things are happening around me and this feeling spoils it all for me.
I don't know if I'm just making up reasons for having anxiety, but I feel as though I have a small SMALL pit inside of me, deep inside. Where all my past (the past that I thought I've overcome but really haven't) sits and dwells. It's hard to explain, I guess. But I think.. "What if I really haven't got over my mother's passing?.. or I'm angry for not getting a real job?.." etc. Even though I feel as though I'm alright with all these things!.. something inside me tells me I'm not. I'm not sure which to believe.
I do realize there's different types of depression. One's that you know the cause of (break-ups, deaths, etc) but what if this is something I can't control? Like a chemical imbalance or what not. I just can't tell.
I HATE trying to think of a cause of this, I swear it's what causes my anxiety. I keep stressing about it.
I've never been big on medication, but maybe I should see someone and talk about this.. it's getting so out of control, I hate it. I mean, if it IS a chemical imbalance or something going on in my body.. then there's not much I can do besides medication, right?