I would just like to add my support to what you have already recieved here. You and your family are in my prayers.
It sounds like you are a pretty amazing person and sister, hang in there, take that xanax if you need to, there is no shame in taking care of ourselves.
I really hope your sister is okay and that she comes out of this darkness soon.
This is really, really sad. You must be feeling so anxious and powerless. Please remember to take some time just for yourself. You need to stay sane, you need to put yourself first every so often. I wouldn't recommend punching the wall (ouch!) but there might be a nice patch of grass outside you can jump up and down on and scream (I speak from experience). My prayers are with you and your family.
Good Morning Dee,
I am so sorry you are going through so much anxiety right now. I would try to put the fact of your brothers heart attack into a slot for now and not try to deal with why he did not tell you and in fact I am wondering why he chose now to mention it.
I know that watching your sister go through all of this is truly difficult and I will say a pray for both of you. Use your Xanax if you need it. Try to stay in the moment and remember to take care of you first.
One of the best simple ways to deal with Anxiety is breathing. Simple things like inhale to your lungs full capacity, hold it, then exhale imagining all of the stress to leave your body with the air that is exhaled. Getting yourself to a quiet calm place is another way to help and be able to breathe. Imagining a beautiful scene in your mind, counting to 100, counting your breath and trying to slow it are all techniques that really do help.
Do know we are all here for you.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
UPDATE: I got back from my grandmas funeral a couple hours ago. I was able to get through it without taking my xanax, although it was hard. My aunt and my mom were trying to fight over who got to keep flowers, the quilt in the casket and other stupid stuff.
Also, my niece miscarried her baby this morning. She still came to the funeral. She was about 7 weeks along. She was such a trooper. God bless her. My other niece's best friend ( I used to babysit them) lost her baby last night. She was 7 1/2 months and the cord was wrapped around her neck. She will be induced tomorrow...terrible. Her fiance was car jacked about 3 weeks ago and shot in the chest. He is still in the hospital and now they've had this tragedy. Man, it's been a really hard couple weeks for my family.
My sister is in ICU now. They weren't able to do the shock therapy because she started to take a turn for the worst physically. They are doing a spinal tap on her today to see if she's got an infection in her spine. I've got to call the hospital to check on her later. I'm physically and emotionally spent right now. My grandmas service was beautiful. She lived a long life and was buried with her husband at the National Cemetary in town (he was a Vet). She suffered a long time and I know her passing puts her at peace...finally. I'd just like a good amount of time with no sadness or drama for my family.
I'm just knocked out. I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. Here goes:
When things are wrecked in my life I take time out, sit down and write what I want to be in my future. In detail. It gives me some hope, a goal to work towards, and some peace away from the here and now.
I'm not usually an advocate of not "being in the moment" but I will make an exception in your case. You need some time away from this grief..please take it, and take care of you first.
I am so sorry that you are having such a run of sadness in your family. You have my sincere sympathy at the death of your Grandma.
I hope you are strong enough to avoid the fueds and stay in the moment. Do not let what is happening around you tear you down but draw on your inner strength. It is there just reach way down and use it.
Do get rest, put all thoughts out of your head and let yourself find your own peace.
I wish you peace.
You guys are such a healing force for me. I tried to stay out of the foolishness, but got drawn into it this morning. My aunt left today but before she did, she told one of my brothers that MY mom told her that I stole money from my late brothers estate and spent it on my kids!!!!! I was LIVID!!! She was supposed to be the executor of all his stuff, but because she is on public assistance, she didnt want anything in her name as it would count against her benefits. She asked me to do it too because I work in the financial services industry and know a bit about estates and stuff. Well, I just about blew my top. Good thing she lives 30 miles away or I probably would've been be on the 5:00 news tonight! I called one of my sisters and apparently my mom has been throwing this story out there to anyone that will listen to cover up the fact that she is terrible with money. I have all the receipts and bank statements from this deal and it shows that I didnt do anything wrong. I paid myself back for my brothers funeral (we paid for it upfront), pre-arranged her funeral arrangements (she has no insurance) and gave the rest to her. She blew it all in 6 months.
We're having a party for my oldest son today and at first I told my sister that my mom was not welcome in my home. Well, my mom called crying and apologizing and stuff. After some prayer and quiet time, I decided to let her come out for the party. I know that I am called to forgive her as part of my faith, but I an REALLY hurt by this. It was a blow to my integrity and I take that very seriously....UGH...DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!!! I NEED A VACATION!!