Post Edited By Moderator (Ides) : 8/25/2008 7:57:33 PM (GMT-6)
Welcome to HW, we are a little family here and I am happy you have joined us. Anxiety can sometimes encroach on our work lives, sadly we just have to accept that as part of the package. It doesn't mean you are not "normal" or can't have a "normal life". It just means you have to make decisions that will keep you safe. Working three days a week is great. I was unable to work for many, many years when I was younger..it's taken me a long time to get to working the amount I do now.
If your therapist isn't helping, but you still feel really anxious why not try a different therapist with a different technique? CBT (cognitive behavioural thearpy) is a fantastic way of rationilising your fears and anxieties. A lot of our members have a great deal of success with it (me included). There is a site online www.moodgym.com.au that is free and really, really helpful.
For anxiety, I work mostly with avoiding it. I eat well, exercise, stay away from negative people (when possible) and know my limits. I don't drink caffienne (jitters) or drink alcohol. Now I sound like the most boring person on the planet! This does help me with the anxiety though. I also keep a journal of my feelings so I get a fair idea of what is stressing me out or upsetting me, before it gets out of hand! I hope this helps you a bit PhoebE, and again, a warm elcome to HW.
Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P forum. You've come to the right place to find people that have a good idea of what you're going through.
I am Kitt and I have had anxiety for 26 years. You are living a normal life but you also have anxiety which means you have to work at keeping the anxiety from taking over the way you want to live. Remember you have anxiety, it does not have you.
Here are a few tips that may help you as they have helped me.
Call a friend when feelings of anxiousness or fear arise. A friend is not a replacement for professional help when needed, but a friend can be there to listen when you are having a bad day. Sometimes letting off a little steam can help relive tension and anxiety.
Share a laugh. Nothing breaks the tension like laughing. If you walk around feeling miserable, you will be miserable, but if you laugh life seems better. So if you are down, watch a funny movie or TV show to laugh.
Know your personal limits. One of the chief causes of anxiety is when a person takes on more than he can handle. Know your limits as to what you can do and how much you can do. It will go a long way in reducing anxiety in life. Reducing anxiety is not hard to do once a person knows how to it. The one principle to keep in mind is if you have any doubts about reducing anxiety on your own, seek professional help.
And my personal favorite, don't indulge in stinkin thinking, "Why can't I be normal ? Why does this have to happen to me?" Just accept what is happening to you. If you do this, what you fear most will not happen.
Keep talking to us as I have a feeling you will find this a great place to vent, share and find the support you need.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
Excellent! We can be healthy and NOt boring together..can I just ask, how do you get your husband to cook? Are there whips involved?!
Okay seriously (sorry about that) I used to do the same thing with counsellors/therapists, telling them that I was feeling better (when I wasn't) and pretending that they had made a difference (when they hadn't) and then going home and crying just because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Now I am training to be a counsellor, and trust me, we would prefer you were nasty to us but got results than tried to make us feel good about ourselves.
Next time (if you decide to) see a therapist, tell them the honest truth, that's what you are paying for. If it isn't working. Tell them, it's up to them to make it work or refer you to someone who will.
I wish you all the best, it's lovely to have you with us.
Post Edited (tired@39) : 8/26/2008 8:34:03 PM (GMT-6)
Welcome to HW. How long have you been living with depression? Do you take any medications or have therapy at all for this? (sorry for all the Q's)
If you want to introduce yourself then just start up your own thread. you'll get more replies and more support. Again, welcome, I hope you like it here.
Post Edited (PhoebeE) : 8/27/2008 4:22:10 AM (GMT-6)
REBT is a great form of therapy, I'm studying as a counsellor and it is one of my favourite forms. It actually had it's birthplace in Freudism, but is a far faster and less invasive form of problem solving/cognitive re-working. Sadly, some therapists are just NOT good at it! I hope next time you find someone you can work with.
I'm glad you opened up to your workmates, it's really amazing how many of us live with anxiety and panic. A 90 minute commute? That would certainly put me on edge. If you believe it is compromising your health then I would say that looking for something closer to home might be a good idea.
Boundaries are very important. If you aren't sure of your boundaries it easy to get swayed, lose sense of self and yes, become MORE anxious. I find that this is very common among people who have been through childhood abuse or trauma. If you try to hard to please everyone else or fit into what you believe people want you to be then you will lose your identity and that is stressful.
I hope I'm not being too confusing! In fact I'm confusing myself. This is just my opinion and I am no expert.
I still think you must have magical powers over your husband!
Good Morning and wow, what great advice and response you have received . This is truly a great site..........
I went through a period of panic attacks at night and would cry and pray and walk the house alone in the dark. This is what helps me and many others.
Just because you have these sensations doesn't mean you are crazy. These feelings are just unpleasant and frightening, not dangerous. Nothing worse will happen to you.
Let your feelings come. . Don't run away from panic. When you feel panic build up, take a deep breath and as you breathe out, let go. Keep trying. Stay there almost as if you were floating in space. Don't fight the feeling of panic. Accept it; you can deal with it.
Try to make yourself as comfortable as possible without escaping. If you're on a street, lean against a post or a store wall. If you're at the cosmetics department of a store, find a quieter counter or corner. If you're in a boutique, tell the salesperson you don't feel well and want to sit for a while. Do not jump into a car and go home in fear.
Don't indulge in stinkin thinking, "Why can't I be normal ? Why does this have to happen to me?" Just accept what is happening to you. If you do this, what you fear most will not happen.
Think about what is really happening to your body at this moment. Do not think "Something terrible is going to happen. I must get out." Repeat to yourself "I am ok, I will not die or lose control."
Try to distract yourself from what is going on inside you. Look at your surroundings. See the other people around you. .They are with you, not against you.
When the panic subsides, let your body go loose, take a deep breath, and go on with your day. Remember, each time you cope with panic and anxiety, you reduce your fear.
I'd like to extend a warm welcome to you on your first visit to Healing Well!