Welcome to HW and the A/P forum. You are among friends here. Anxiety can make us constantly question ourselves, and those around us. I know that when my anxiety is high I can become unreasonable with my partner and drive him nuts needing constant reassurance that I'm not annoying him with my anxiety. What a catch 22!
I'm not a relationship expert but in this case I would sit your fiance down and be 100% honest about your concerns. Tell him that you feel anxious that he is losing feelings for you, that it makes you feel upset. Do not use any blame, be up front about the fact that you are worried about his lack of action in regards to you moving in. Ask him how he really feels. It has to better than wondering and making yourself upset every day not knowing.
If this is too confronting, write him a letter. It's easiet to speak the truth, and not say something you may later regret! I know this may seem daunting, but you need to know the truth so you can move on if need be. Most likely he was a little snubbed when you first refused to move in (for very honouable reasons I might add) and now he is scared YOU will reject him by not moving in. It may well be that he has the same insecurities as you. Talk it out, clear up how you are feeling. You will feel so much better.
Again welcome, I look forward to getting to know you better.
Are you happy in the relationship? Sit back for a moment and think to yourself 'Am I happy in my relationship?' If you are happy, then great! If you're not happy then you need to ask another question. Ask yourself 'Can I foresee myself ever being happy in this relationship?'
IMHO you are taking on alot of blame for the problems that have cropped up, like you have done something wrong because you have anxiety. Do not beat yourself up. Remember you have anxiety, it does not have you.
Again welcome to HealingWell.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
I am 23 - I'll be 24 in November. I was in and out of therapy for about 8 months or so? I was seeing a pscyhiatrist that was prescribing me Effexor and I basically told him that I was doing fine on the medicine so he would just give it to me and not make me talk to him. He was very unhelpful...nice old man but that's it.
I have had this anxiety (when I think back - most of my life. I have always been a worrier) but it got worse after I met my fiance (then boyfriend) and was starting a new college in the Fall. I'd say that was the Fall of '06? The following winter/spring I went on Effexor XR. and I took myself off it the following summer I think? I have seen college counselors and I have seen a psychologist a few times. I never liked any of them. I have always felt like they were judging me...not understanding me. This is my most serious relationship. My prior relationships did not last this long and I don't recall anxiety with them.
It doesn't sound like your fiance is being very supportive. I know it can be extremely hard for someone who doesn't live with anxiety to understand how hard it is and that we do not "choose" to live with this level of anxiety.
However, you do not want to pick a life partner who is failing to support and undertand you even at this early stage. I know it may be hard, but IMHO I really think you would be better off focusing your energy on getting yourself better (as Peacesoul wisely suggested) rather than stressing about your future with this man.
I hope you find some peace with whatever decision you make.
Yes, I believe what you have described happens to many of us. Members with anxiety and depression can sleep on something and have a whole new outlook on the situation the next morning. However, I do not believe that is unique to just us but I feel that most people do this very same thing.
Take care and hope you start to feel better about yourself and work on building up your self esteem.
Hugs to you Kitt