I can't take it much longer!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
26 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/28/2008 11:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone,
I have before mentioned difficulties I'm having with my Aunt and the Sister in-law.Well,my Aunt just made life MUCH worse for me by calling my Attorney.
 
He asked what she was yammering on about and told me he couldn't get a word in.I have no idea what all she said to him,but he is now interrogating me and partly siding along with her.During a conversation we had Yesterday he was very unkind,cocky and rather a smart A**.
 
Beginning June this Year,I took a little less than US$100 per Month cut in income because my Insurance changed.That amount is a large sum of Money for a poor Person like myself.After the deduction each Month my income is less than US $600.
 
I would really like to see my Aunt,SIL and my Attorney try to live on what I do.
 
In July,I turned to a Church Food Pantry,but they didn't receive shipment for the Month because the Pastor and his Wife were out of Town.I really shouldn't eat Foods they have because some of the Foods are outdated or have high amounts of Carbs,Sodium,Sugar etc.
 
I don't have a Car or Transportation to drive to the small nearby City to buy Groceries or to the Dollar Store in Town to buy Household and personal items for self that are less costly.
 
Due to not having a Car,I'm stuck with buying Food and items at the small Family owned Market in Town because they deliver.The prices are out of this World EXPENSIVE!
 
None of my Family calls or drops by and asks if I want to go when they are going Shopping.They hate me and deem me a nuisance and burden.My Attorney even says it.
 
I was overdrawn in my Account $100 + past my bounce protection and being overdrawn for 30 consecutive Day's my Bank's system closed off/closed out my Account.
 
I called the Bank and spoke with the Branchs' Assistant Manager.She told me I would be required to pay the less than US$30 a direct deposit didn't cover and would need US$100 to re-open my Account which would be for my benefit.
 
Few Day's ago,I called and spoke with the Manager.He told me I would only need US$35 to pick up the less than $30 and to be positive in my Account. 
 
At my Attorney's suggestion I called and asked a Cousin for help.She refused to help me when she had the Money to help.
 
Instead of my Cousin helping me knowing my late Father's Estate would reimburse her and also knowing the hassle and crap I receive from my Aunt and SIL she called Aunt then Aunt got her Panties in a wad and phoned my Attorney.
 
I'm having elevated Blood Sugars and since August 12 have been testing many times during the Day.The lowest reading I've had thus far is 118.
 
Most times I don't have enough Food or a variety of Food and it greatly concerns me for my BS readings.Am trying to lower (which I have) by change of Diet/Exercise/Lifestyle modifications.Type II Diabetes can be managed/controlled without the aid of Medication.
 
The only way I'm going to get peace,calm,tranquilty and Health is to move away from these gosh forsaken People who are my Family,but I can't move right now.I can NOT take their crap any longer!It is MAKING ME ILL (Physically and emotionally).
 
 
 
 
 


peacesoul
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 8/28/2008 3:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sweetie, I'm going to be very frank with you, no one but yourself in responsible for your life.

You are putting yourself in the "victim" role way too often hoping that others are going to bail you out. No one but you can make your life better.
I can't image living on only 600$ a month, but when push comes to shove, you need to take control and make a move to a better life.

When my ex left me 8 yrs ago, he took our biz and left me with $350 in the bank. I had a home and tons of bills and no job since he took our biz. I could not afford to sue him and I had not worked out of the house by this time, for 5 yrs.
I was terrified, but I didn't blame everyone else. I got up and got a job w/in 3 days of him leaving because I had no choice. I had to work a full time job and drive alone for the first time in years at this point, not to mention living alone for the first time.

Sweetie, all I am saying is you need to stop being the victim and fight to get well. You seem to gravitate towards drama in order to avoid your real issues.

I know it's TOTALLY scary to get back into the world when your anxious, but you need to dig deep and find your surivial instinct.

I'm in no way slighting you here, but telling you the truth. The truth shall set you free and on a course to a happier/freer life.
Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
 
where we take it one panic attack at a time
 
 
 
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 8/28/2008 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   

Sydnee,

You mentioned a while ago that you were considering moving away from the town you live in to get away from the toxic people in your life. Is this still your plan?

IMHO you would be better off channeling your emotional energy into getting your anxiety under control than being angry with your family. It doesn't sound like they deserve your time or energy.

Take care of yourself, this difficult time will pass and you will be stronger for it.

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/29/2008 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Sydnee,

I am sorry you are continuing to feel so much anxiety and anger over the finanacial situation.  You are dealing with some toxic people and this is where you have to cut the strings and take care of you.  Let go of the anger and start to work on you and getting better.

I am going to post the online CBT site for you again.  Please use it to help you.  Only you are responsible for how you respond to others.  Love yourself and take care of you.  You can do this.

MoodGYM http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/

Kitt

 

 

 


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 2:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Peacesoul,
Am replying in a non-defensive manner,so if I sound defensive or angry-no.
Yes,you are correct about me being responsible for my life,however don't place myself into a "victim" role,I'm not into drama and no I'm not in denial.
I've had serious financial hardships simply because I don't have enough resources that stretch.
I never lucked into or was fortunate enough to land Office Jobs,so every Job I had was manual labor.I have Spinal Disabilities that prevent me from performing previous Job duties,so that goes down the tube of my returning to Work in order to earn more income.
I'm making short and long term goals and I AM taking control and making a move to a better life,however changes can not be made until my late Father's final affairs are settled and a few other personal matters squared away.
You or any one else on this forum don't know what has been done to me since my Father died,so please don't think I'm blaming anyone.I have Legally fought Tooth and Nail to change wrongdoings.
I have made excellent strides and am on my way to a financially comfortable/stable life,completing my Education and obtaining a Professional Job that will be easy on my Spine,but before I can begin the goals set for myself I've got to tie up loose ends.
Speaking of survival instinct.I am a survivor..

 


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 2:26 AM (GMT -7)   

Meg,

Upon finalizing my Father's affairs and tending a few other personal matters I am moving out of State to finish my Bachelors before attending a College of Naturopathic Medicine,so yes it is still my plan.

Actually my Anxiety is much much much better and screw my Family!On Dad's side..a Relationship with Family with the exception of an Uncle and a Cousin is irreparable.

 



 


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 2:31 AM (GMT -7)   

Goodmorning Kitt,

Anxiety is actually better..just feeling anger toward my Aunt and a Sister in-law to she and Dad.They are control freaks,evil,greedy,selfish and self-centered and love NOTHING more than to create problem.I have no other choice but to contend with them until Dad's final business is finalized because of the Legal System.Thank you for the link..



 


Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 8/30/2008 2:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Sydnee -
We all have different capabilites. Some of us are strong - but not all. I'm
not.
Some of us have been hurt so badly emotionally and/or physically that
a return to normal is not likely. So, I guess we just start where we are.
You must get some Anti-Anxiety medication. Do you have a Womans'
Crisis Line in your area? Those people could put you in touch with some
people who could help you.
Here on the Forum there are many people who truly understand hard times.
Look for the ones that can give you emotional support through e-mail.
Take Care,
Pam

4tinaknox
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 8/30/2008 2:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sidney10. I am glad you are making plans and moving ahead. Meanwhile is there any help from Social Services, if you have one under local government? Are there any free clinics in your area? Can you order food and supplies online cheaper? Are there any temporary employment agencies you could use to find suitable part-time work? How about thrift stores? Contact the American Diabetes Association for info. on possible help with testing supplies and free publications on meal planning, etc. 1-800-232-3472. This too shall pass, keep your chin up.
Your health is your wealth
4tinaknox


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 4:48 AM (GMT -7)   

Pam,

I am starting anew.Pressing forward without People who've caused me pain and grief.

I'm upset because my Aunt called my Attorney creating problems for me.

She has been problematic 10 + Years (unless she began earlier behind my Back and I'm unaware).

When my Grandparent's were living..my Family shared and helped each other.

I started taking Anti-Anxiety again July 6 and it is tremendously helping,however it's the having to stay in my current situation.


 

 


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 5:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Tina,
Thank you..we don't have a Social Services or much anything else.At one time there was a free Clinic,but I have Insurance..Yesterday,I e-mailed my Attorney and told him I had decided to set up an Estate Auction to sell my Dad's personal property to the highest bidder,so I can buy a Car.I won't hear back from him until probably Tuesday.If I had a Car,I could drive 10-15 minutes to buy Groceries that are less expensive.The small Family owned Market in Town eats a hole in my pocketbook,but I had no other choice but to buy there because of lack of transportation.I'm going to need a Car anyway when I move.I can't earn much and receive SSD too,so that isn't an option.The Social Security Administation doesn't count Assets,Investments,Inheritance or unearned income.I've called twice to verify.I could have a Million Dollars and they won't penalize me.I've received information from the ADA,but if I followed their Diet I sure enough would be taking Medication.I have found a Blood Glucose Meter at Wal-Mart that costs $9 and the Strips and Lancets are within a reasonable price range.
I will be free,have freedom,be relaxed and can take a much needed sigh of relief when Dad's Estate is closed.But as long as I have to contend with my Aunt and the SIL there will be h*ll.


 

Post Edited (Sydnee10) : 8/30/2008 6:03:23 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 8/30/2008 8:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sydnee,

Your attorney is there to protect you. Let him take the brunt of it all. Tell your relatives to talk to him, not you. He gets paid for that.

I am so happy that you will be able to get a car. Then you can get the things that you need at a cheaper price, or are you going to move?

Just don't let your relatives get to you, I know that it is hard. But don't talk to them if you can help it. Don't take their calls, don't even answer the phone, do you have caller ID on your phone? That is such a wonderful thing. That way you dont' have to talk to anyone that you don't want to. Or if you have an answer system, just scan your calls.

Remember what they say about you don't mean Jack. Just ignore them and let the attorney deal with it. That is his job. Don't let them get you down. You don't deserve that.

I recommend going to that site that Kitt gave you. It could be a life saver for you. Remember that the stress puts up your blood pressure, blood sugar, pain and emotional stress. So give yourself a vacation until everything is over with.

I wish you peace.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/30/2008 9:01 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Sydnee,

I am glad to hear you have plans and goals, kudos for making them.  The estate auction is a good idea as when my Mom died that is what I did.  Did not make much but at least someone else cleaned out the apartment and she lived 100 miles from me.  Sometimes you do what is best for your anxiety and at the time I was working full time. No one to help me out so the auction was great.

As far as the toxic relatives, I would suggest telling them to have their lawyer contact yours.  They should not even be talking to yours.  Your lawyer works for you not for these people who have caused you problems for over 10 years.  I say kick those relatives to the curb as soon as you get things settled.

Remember to stay in the moment sweetie.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 9:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Karen,

I questioned the ethics of she calling my Attorney.I inquired him and he told me it would be unethical if he called her.Her call made for big problems for me.My Attorney became extremely critical,harsh and interrogated me.To prevent myself from asking him just who are you working for and who's paying you,I had to bite my Tongue off.Dad's Sister is an old Sow from way back.

Really it depends on how much is made from the Sale if I get a Car or not.I'm also considering selling my Grandparent's Home that was Legally given me.The House is over 105 Years old,dates back to Indian Territory and will take at least $20,000 to renovate.It sits next Door to the Sister in-law,so why would I want to torture myself with her as a Neighbor?YES I'm going to move out of State!

Aunt is trying to make me to appear someone who can't manage Money.The problem is:I do NOT have enough Money to streeetch!It takes Money and a good amount of it to live as high as everything is.

She doesn't know what it's like to survive on what I do.She intrudes in my private and personal affairs when she's waaay behind on Taxes to her Business.

A former Employee told me when she worked for Aunt..she was $500 in the hole and she owes a Cousin $8,000 and hasn't paid her.

She goes and calls my Attorney,yet 2 Weeks ago Today calls (blocks her number out so I wouldn't know who was calling) and told me she had a proposal.She told me she would take me to Wal-Mart Supercenter the next Day so I could buy Groceries..suggested a place we go and eat and asked if I had been to a couple of Stores.I called her Sunday Morning and told her,"I'm sorry,but I've been up all Night cleaning House and just can't make it Today."I could hear her seething underneath her breath.

I honestly believe the Stress is what has driven my Blood Sugar up,but hard to believe my Blood Pressure was 118/78 at my Doctor's Appointment July 2.I've never had high BP though.


 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 8/30/2008 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   
It is good that you have good blood pressure, you are lucky there. Mine gets high just going to the doctor, stress I guess.

I am sorry that your aunt is bothering you. Can you scan your calls? Do you have an answering system? She sounds really sneaky. Don't trust her.

I am sorry that your attorney drilled you like that. Sounds like they really said some nasty stuff. I know how this goes, I have been through it with greedy relatives. Just do what in your heart that you think is right, and all will work out for you. Remember what comes around, goes around. And eventually they will get theirs and you will come out smelling like a rose.

I know that the money doesn't go far these days. It is a shame. At the risk of opening a can of worms, I think (hope) that after this election, things will go better. But it is going to take time, so a lot of us will be struggling for a while to come.

I hope that your day gets better, try and relax and get your mind off of it for a while. It is so taxing when family members turn on us. Like I say, I have been through this before. People were trying to divide up money before my mother even died. I wouldn't let that happen. Even my attorney got mad at me. Wanted to put her on medicaid. I said no. She has the money to pay for her care, and that is what it is going for. My whole family got mad at me, I didn't care, I did what I thought was right. And I could have gotten some of the money. But I didn't want it. So therefore, I was still poor, but had a clear conscience.

Take care sweetie.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/30/2008 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Sydnee,

Great advice from Karen..............I think I mentioned the lawyer issue too.

I will let you work with Karen and I hope you get your estate squared away. Keep hoping for the good stuff in life.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. ~Romans 8:25~

Bless you

Kitt



 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Post Edited (stkitt) : 8/30/2008 11:16:16 AM (GMT-6)


greyhound
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 277
   Posted 8/30/2008 11:35 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry you are hurting. You will be in my prayers.

God bless you.
Adopt a retired racing greyhound


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 11:58 AM (GMT -7)   

Kitt,

I figure we need goals..a direction for our lives..we have to have and make a life,so setting and obtaining goals are a must..life isn't gonna come to us..we got to go get it.

Before I mentioned holding an Estate Auction to my Attorney,I called and talked with my Dad's Eldest Brother who is a self taught Auctioneer since Childhood and asked if he would Auction off the personal Property to the highest bidder..he told me he would..

I want my Attorney present to supervise Monies and want to make sure it isn't squandered..

I live a 10-15 minute drive away and don't think it a good idea I be present to watch my loved one's belongings and memories sold..

After my Aunt called my Attorney she and SIL went to converse (gripe and complain about me) with the Estates Attorney.My Attorney told me the EA practically laughed at my Aunt and that she could barely get a word in coz my Aunt was flapping her Jowls non-stop.She is making an Arse of herself!



 


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 12:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Karen,

I feel blessed that my Blood Pressure is good and my Heart goes out to those who aren't as lucky.You must have what is called "White Coat Syndrome".There are People who don't normally have high BP who has high BP when they go to Doctor.

Yes I can scan my calls.I usually know who is calling if/when it shows up private name..private number,but when it says unknown name..unknown number,I don't always know.The latter is what shows up most times when she calls.I will stop answering UN/UN calls.

Couple Weeks ago was talking with a Man who personally knows my Aunt and her first ex-Husband.He told me,"Your Aunt is slick."She IS!I do NOT trust her!

She is a fine work of Art.She gets her crap from her first ex-Husband who is an arsehole to begin with,but was Military.No disrespect to the Military or those who have loved ones in the Military.

My Attorney knows what she and the SIL are.He told my Sister Friend and me too that they hate me because my Dad left me with everything.

Law is a very new experience.He is the second Attorney I've consulted with and hired.One Day he may be sweet as Pie and the next as mean as a Bull.He's young,cocky and "wet behind the Ears".

They (Aunt and SIL) are already getting that what comes around goes around..they both having Health problems.

I think by closing Dad's Estate and knowing like my Attorney and everyone else that know they are guilty of many wrongdoings will help by giving me more Money to live.

Was talking with a Friend on Telephone earlier..got sleepy,so took a nap..

These 2 Family members should never have been left to finalize Dad's affairs.They coerced him a sick and grieved Man into believing he could trust them.

I'm very sorry you were put through a similiar nightmare.I have learned first Hand that Family will turn on us faster than anyone.


 


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Greyhound..
 


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 12:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Kitt..when I read the scripture in your response..tears streamed down my Face..


 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 8/30/2008 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Sydnee,

When all of this is over, stay as far away from them as possible. They are toxic to you. You will be a much happier person that way. That is what I did, and I am glad. I still have members try to contact me, but I ignore them. So they pretty much stay away and I keep to myself. I am happiest that way.

Good luck,

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Sydnee10
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/30/2008 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen,
As soon as I get Dad's Business wrapped up and a few other matters squared away,I'm moving out of State,so will not be near them.
There is Family living where I will be moving,so imagine that my Aunt will call the Family to inquire about me,if I'm keeping my Apartment/House clean blah blah blah,but if that happens I'll put a stop to that REAL QUICK!
My Aunt has deep seated issues that haven't been dealt with.She is what is referred as a "hoarder" and "miser".She buy's up stuff then stores.A Psychiatrist or Psychologist would have a "field Day" with her!She is the type who uses the County Health Department when she has very good Insurance.
If she were to come into your Home and there is a teeny spot on your Carpet she would detect and remember 50 Years down the Road on the very date she noticed.

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 8/30/2008 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
She would have a lot to remember with my carpet Sydnee. It is a mess. I would give her lots to talk about.LOL...

Well, I hope that it is all over soon for you so that you can get on with a happy life.

Best wishes for a wonderful relaxing day to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/30/2008 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh my Sydnee, if your Aunt shows up at my house to check my carpet I will let my dog meet her and greet her.............lol.  I have a Doberman with a big bark.

I will keep praying that all your goals will be met.

Hugs

Kitt

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
26 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 2:39 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,731,994 posts in 300,980 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151146 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, LadyCapricorn.
167 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
LindaOZ, InquisitiveOne, getting by, maria2016


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer