Hey upsndowns, Welcome to the site and really glad and honored you feel safe to express what's going on with your life. Keep coming here and posting, okay?
Like you, I've been told to "Just get over it!!" as well and understand the pain from that - you must have felt devastated when you heard that. Personally, this
is not someone I would talk to regularly about
my issues until they got a clue of the gravity of your situation.
As for other friends, or significant other (I don't have one, never will - except my kitties . . . :o)) as a suggestion (per your request), maybe you could ask if they'd be willing
to have a sit-down with you at a time that is convenient for the both of you because you have some stuff that you really need to talk about
and need a friend and would like their
opinion, or that you'd like their understanding (or empathy - whatever you're needing) - you could even go so far as to ask them (at the sit-down) to please reflect back to you
what they heard you say, after each statement is made, or how did they perceive it because you're wanting to be sure that you are expressing yourself clearly (that way they don't
take it as an insult, as if you don't believe THEY understood what you were saying, but that you just want to be sure that YOU'RE being clear to THEM) -- and that would definitely give
you the understanding it sounds like you're needing (and also teach them to be understanding at the same time). :-D
Asking for their time at a future date, or even later in the day will give them time to be ready and prepare to be an understanding friend, since you never know when you start talking to
someone kind of "out of the blue", what's going on in their mind/world - they may not have the ability at that moment to talk, listen or to be understanding or give any empathy because of their own stuff they're dealing with at that moment. You could even ask for just 15, 30, 45 minutes of their time - that way they know they'll be done in that amount of time in case they have plans, or other stuff going on.
I hope this helps a little! I'm so glad you posted!
Post Edited (Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty) : 9/2/2008 7:49:34 AM (GMT-6)