unable to handle anymore

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sweetontweety7777
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/7/2008 6:57 PM (GMT -7)   
shakehead  I am having a few difficult problems with my Dr, and i use the word doctor very losely in this situation.  I cannot get her to understand that my meds are not working anymore.  i had a breakdown about six years ago.  lost my ability to maintain my shortterm memory, and totally wrecked  my life.  I feel that i am headed in that direction again. i am dealing with so much anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, and always just on "pins and needles".   i can't keep a straight thought.  i am not suicidal anymore, thank god.  but i just stay in constant termoil.  i can't bear living like this.  i missed my sons engagement party saturday, i was just too scared and confused to go.  i get to where i can't leave home, but i don't want to stay home either.  a constant battle is going on inside my head.  i am struggling to keep up with life, but i feel everyone is running and i am just crawling.  i can't see why all this can't be helped with some change in my medication. and, yes i know drugs aren't the cure for it, however they would help me get to see my therapist on a regular schedule.  my question to everyone, what shoudl i do.  i take adavan, miratzapine, and two other meds.  i spent about a month and a half in the hospital last time, not even knowing my name.  i lost the ability to maintain short term memory, i also became unable to walk because of a gastric bypass surgery.  i am able to finally walk but my memory is lost forever.  i am like a zombie and i feel trapped inside myself. 

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/7/2008 7:06 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi sweetontweety,

Welcome to HW, I hope we can offer you some support here. You say that your medications are not working for you anymore..could you see a different doctor and ask to be assesed. Maybe they can find some meds that will help you. I am worried that you feel like you are slipping backwards. That really is a warning sign you shouldn't ignore. Do you have a therapist you can speak to about this?

No one deserves to be living with such high anxiety and fear. Please speak to someone you trust about this. In my country we have lifeline, do they have something similar where you live? a 24 hour phone support line? They may be able to help you out with some options. Stay with us, let us know how you are going, and again, welcome.

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


sweetontweety7777
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/7/2008 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
we have something called crisis line, however it's run by the same low income hospital my doctor runs. i am in a nightmare of a mess. i am on insurance from the state because of my physical disabilities so i am unable to choose a doctor of my own. i am just running into brick walls right and left. getting so confused, scared, and almost angry at the same time. thankyou for the welcome. i really do appreciate it bunches.

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 9/7/2008 8:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Tweety,

Welcome. I wish I had answers for you, but I can mostly only offer support. Health anxiety is hard to deal with, whether or not we really have an underlying physical condition to fear.

When I know I have a lot to discuss with my doctor, I make a list of very specific questions. It may be that your doc just isn't realizing how serious your concerns are. I know I go into "business mode" often at the doctor's office, and so he doesn't always see how badly some things affect me; I'm good at describing them in low-key, matter-of-fact ways. A list might help you to ask about all the things you fear; writing down the answers can remind you later when you're home that something isn't really a problem and why.

I also at one point was keeping a very detailed "symptom diary." In planning to meet with a brand new specialist, I wanted to make sure I was telling her everything I possibly could about what I was experiencing. It helped a lot and made her diagnosis very clear. That might also help you to get across to your doctor what's happening.

Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

percycat

panic queen
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 9/8/2008 3:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello sweet..
 ((hugs)) to you.
I know what you are going thru and it is terrible. sad
It makes it even worse when nobody will listen to you on how you are feeling.
 I agree that you need to go and find someone who will listen to you and help you.
My first time with the anxiety, my Dr put me on Buspar. It was like candy to me.
Did NOTHING for my anxiety. We all react differently to medication.
I waited weeks before I said anything. That was many yrs ago, today, I wouldn't hesitate to call him back.
 Don't wait any longer, go and find someone who can help you feel better today. tongue   
Update us on how you are coping and on your new Doctor.
 
L
 

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/8/2008 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   

sweetontweety7777

I am so sorry you are going through this rough time right now sad

I would suggest you go back to your Dr. and tell it like it is.  You cannot function and you really feel your meds are not working.  Your afraid of having a relapse and would he please help you?

If this does not work, then see your therapist and enlist his/hers help in verifying how bad you are feeling right now.  You therapist could converse with your Doctor.

Remember as a patient you do have rights.  Meantime try your best to stay in the moment.

Bless you
Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 9/8/2008 12:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Sweetontweety.... honey I can only imagine the suffering you are experiencing now. I am sorry this is happening and that your doctor isn't taking you more seriously. I would definately go back to the doctor with a list like percycat suggested... if all else fails... CRYING always puts a point across.
If he changes your meds remember that you will probably have to wean off the old before starting the new.. so things might actually feel worse for a time.... but things WILL get better. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS>
You have this family. Healing Well is a great resoursce, but mostly it is a comforting , safe place to express your feelings without fear of being judged or ignored. We will listen, support you through whatever you are going through. Knowing I'm not alone has made a huge difference in my life.
Sending you healing, peaceful thoughts and prayers dear one.
Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


peacesoul
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 9/8/2008 3:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sweet and welcome to HealingWell. Sorry you're feeling so terrible. I have many days like you're explaining here.

Let me ask you. Did your dr give you reasons for not wanting to give you more meds? What were they?
How old are you? And what support system do you have?
Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
 
where we take it one panic attack at a time
 
 
 
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places


sweetontweety7777
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/10/2008 11:35 AM (GMT -7)   
i am going through a terrible divorce so not much of a support system. my new bf doesn't really understand though he tries so hard to understand me. causes some trouble. also with my short term memory loss it is really reaking havoc on my life right now. panic attacks are just ruliing my life as i see it right now. my doctor is no help. she just says keep taking the meds and sooner or later they will start working. i have been on them for, oh i guess, four years. so i don't see them just KICKIN in any time soon. everyday, i just say to myself, hold on one more day and then there will be help for you. it never comes. and i don't believe it ever will. terrrorfied i am headed for another breakdown. i don't deserve this. i have never hurt a soul in my life. i try to be kind to my fellow man. i just need one small break but its just too much for my doctor to help me. i am disabled so i have state insurance. i am unable to choose my doctor. its an endless loop that i am trapped in. thanks for your help, nice to have someone to just listen. thank you from the bottom of my heart

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/10/2008 2:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Sweety,

Hi there, it is time to find a new physician.  You need someone you can have a trusting relationship in.  One of the most stressful times in your life is the break up of a marriage no matter what the reason in.

Your whole life is changing and change stresses people so know you are not alone.

We are here to help you. 

Gentle Hugs
Kitt
 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 9/10/2008 3:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sweety! I know exactly how you feel.I have been suffering from panic attacks since the the death of my grandmother in 1997,one would think i was a veteran at it,but i still have those times when i dont want to come out of the house and i have to litterally drag myself to work.That's when i can hold down a job! I have not traveled in about 4 years because when i attempt to, i have a uncontrollable fear that i can't bare! So i just try to find enjoyable things to do here in my city. I know oh so well about missing important events in friends and family's lives! And them not understanding why you cant be there? You metioned your son's engagement party,could that be why you may be so on edge.Are you having problems dealing with your son getting married?Just maiking a suggestion.

sweetontweety7777
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/11/2008 4:27 AM (GMT -7)   
i do not agree with the girl he is marrying. and i feel guilty for the reason, i guess. she has "attacks". i tried to talk to him while she was here the other day, about a seperate illness i have. i wanted to speak to him alone. my blood iron is less than two, they feel i am either losing blood from upper or lower gi tract. i had gastric bypass surgery seven years ago and have had nothing but trouble. so i wanted to tell him alone. im embrassed of all my conditions, and really only like to share with close family. she had a fit when we went outside. my bf told her that i just needed to talk to my son alone about my illness, and let him know a few things that were going on with ME. she made it all about her. which i really don't mind. i hate having the lime light and will gladly give it to anyone who will step in to take it. but on this occasion, it was different. i needed to let my son know if they found blood in my gi tract, i would need surgery. but, i would make sure he was kept posted the whole way through. not like the last time i got sick when my ex kept my kids in the dark until i was in a psych ward, unable to see, hear, walk, or even know my name. i just wanted him to be comforted in the fact that he would be a part of whatever i go through and not pushed to the side again. DIDN'T WORK!!!!!!!! She came outside screaming, "omg she is dying isn't she" and other stuff. my son stopped talking and went about taking care of her. i was upset. when the time for the party came the other day, i was in a panic. now i know, i think, it was just easier to stay home and deal with hurting everyone than to deal with the panic of going and dealing with all my issues and the issues of a marriage that i don't approve of. i am having such a hard time with all this ontop of all my problems. gosh will it never end. sometimes i just wonder.
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