anxiety or something else?

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Disenchanted__
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Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 9/10/2008 5:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Well lets see,
I see auras around lights and not just lights about everything else too and i have double vision, and my eyes are sensitive to light.
and then i feel like my muscles in my face are weak, like i cant talk right and sometimes i repeat something before i actually say it if that made any sense. and i have really bad mood swings, and always feel like im going to pass out all the time. and i feel confused often, and im having a hard time spelling easy words..... god im scared.
does anyone else experience this? or is there something seriously wrong with me? Ive been scared that i have a brain tumor, and also i feel like i am experiencing memory loss. By the way im only 19. Scared =[
i do have one bad eye that i cant see out of and its been that way sense i was like 3, and a lady at my moms job has the same thing and she gets double vision when she has both eyes open but when she closes her bad eye it goes away, just like with me. when i close my bad eye the double vision goes away, but it does feel like its gotten better.
Also i am going to try and make an appointment at the health department for a physical because, i think i have a hyperthyroid problem and that can cause double vision. I also have dry eyes that feel like they're bulging out of my head and that's a symptom of Graves disease. I did have my thyroid checked about 5 years ago, and they said it was kind of elevated, and that's a lot of time. in between so it could have gotten worse.

Post Edited (Disenchanted__) : 9/10/2008 6:43:59 PM (GMT-6)


nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/10/2008 5:31 PM (GMT -7)   

Disenchanted,

That physical sounds like a great idea, if for no other reason than to set your mind at rest. It is very unlikely that you have a brain tumor (I'm not a doctor - but I know the odds) it sounds more likely that you have some visual problems, do you wear glasses?

I know that bulging eyes can be a symptom of hyperthyroidism (spelling anyone?!) and that can be treated with meds. Try not to let your feelings of fear overwhelm you. There seem to be a lot of "what if's" bouncing around in your head right now and it's best to leave them be until you see a professional and get some tests done. Stay in the moment okay and let us know how you are doing. It's scary, but you will get through this.

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
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Disenchanted__
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 9/10/2008 5:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes i wear glasses and i have sense i was like 4 years old. when i was little they tried to put a eye patch on me to strengthen my bad eye, but i never wore it stupid me.
Ive also been experiencing crying for no reason.
Like today at school( i just started im new to the school only been going for 3 days) I started crying for no reason what so ever, and im highly depressed at the moment, because i dont know whats wrong with me. Its a lot for me to deal with, Ive had a brain tumor fear for 5 years now, and im tired of it. I had a MRI 5 years ago, but i never experienced double vision, but i have gone to the eye doctor however when i did have double vision the first time and they never found any pressure or anything behind my eyes.

nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
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   Posted 9/10/2008 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry you are going through this,
 
The crying for no reason, well I should have put a patent on that ages ago..it's okay, it's what we do when we are depressed, anxious, unsure and you seem to be going through all of that. I would really suggest seeing a health professional about this. You really, really do not deserve to live this way. I mean that!
 
A new school? That is tough, give yourself some credit..it's okay to be scared..it may be triggering your health fears. Be gentle with yourself, take time to congratulate yourself on making it through two new days of school. You are doing really well, seriously. Is there anything you can do to take your mind of all of this anxiety until you see a doctor? I find soppy TV works for me!
 
Hugs,
Meg
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nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
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   Posted 9/10/2008 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh!

And get those eyes checked out shocked

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
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Disenchanted__
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 9/10/2008 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I will try to.
I mean there is nothing they can do about my bad eye, the eye doctor told my aunt that three years ago when i went and saw him. he said i will always have a double vision problem or whatever. but i think that this anxiety makes it worse.
I just want to remember, and not have memory problems and stop feeling confused, i hate that. And i want to get the thought of brain tumor out of my head =[

nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/10/2008 5:51 PM (GMT -7)   

Have you taken any steps towards working on your anxiety? It may resolve a lot of your other concerns.

Hugs, Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
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Disenchanted__
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 9/10/2008 5:55 PM (GMT -7)   
well i guess going back to school is a big step, because its been three months sense ive been out of the house, and now i am going to school which gets me out of the house during the day and stuff.
But the thing is when im there, i feel fake, everything around me feels that way too.... like i dont exist and it scares me, and i feel like the floor is moving out from under me and stuff.
I try so hard to think positive thoughts but its so hard, because i just want to live like a normal 19 year old instead of worrying about brain tumors and such.

nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
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   Posted 9/10/2008 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Going back to school is a HUGE step. That is amazing!! It sounds like you may be feeling some depersonalisation (again I am no doctor - just my thoughts)..have you spoken with a counsellor or a doctor about these feelings? I used to get that feeling when I had just been through a major panic attack, nothing seemed real to me. I felt like I was walking in a different world to everyone else. A shadow.

You can get help for this..if I have felt it then many others have too. What is a normal 19 year old anyway?!! You would be surprised how many people feel disconected..and I don't say that to belittle how you are feeling. It is just awful to feel isolated.

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Disenchanted__
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 9/10/2008 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah it is , and i have actually dealt with this stuff before and got over it with the help of friends and stuff but the thing is i dont have any friends at the moment to help me through it because i moved, im on my own with it, and its frustrating, especially when i feel like i cant remember anything. =[

nervymeg
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/10/2008 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   

You need to get a support base..

I don't know what your relationship with your parents is like but are they any help? Can you get some numbers out of the phone book, or off the web? It would be really beneficial if you could talk this through with someone who can help you within your community (not to say that we at HW won't be here to help as well okay?)..

It is so hard to work through this without friends, my heart goes out to you. Can I be your friend for now? You can email me if you like (little envelope to the left under my name)

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Disenchanted__
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 9/10/2008 6:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah,
It is hard to do this without friends and the friends i did have never call me or anything. I hate that.
I actually do call the crisis center a lot just to have someone to talk to when i am feeling down, but its only a temporary relief, until i get the brain tumor thought back into my head. and they cant really help medically because they arent doctors or anything.

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/10/2008 6:29 PM (GMT -7)   

There is a post here called "hypochondria or health anxiety" it may help you to read that one. There are some great techniques for stopping the thoughts about your brain tumor fear. It's a tough thing to deal with, but you can arm yourself with the tools to fight it.

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Disenchanted__
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 9/10/2008 6:31 PM (GMT -7)   
yeah thats true.
Unless i actually have one, then thats a whole nothing story right there. but sometimes i do think that i create my own memory loss by thinking that i cant remember anything.

serafena
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/10/2008 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Disenchanted,

I normally post over on the bipolar board, but your post caught my attention. For quite sometime I was positive I had a brain tumor as well. Turned out I had panic disorder. You really need to get yourself to that doctor. I was getting headaches all the time and I couldn't figure out a reason why, so I assumed I had a brain tumor. It turns out the stress and anxiety I was living with on a day-to-day basis was causing my headaches -- not a brain tumor. It could be something similar with you. The two issues you mention (and I bet there's more you haven't mentioned) moving and starting a new school, are huge stressors. If you're not leaving the house, have very little social interaction and are crying easily, you're getting seriously depressed, and you need to get some help before it gets worse. I'm no doctor, but I have heard that memory problems are fairly common with depression. I have had trouble with them myself. Disassociation (feeling outside your body) is common too.

All this is not to say you shouldn't have a physical as well or get checked for something else like hypothyroidism, but just that you're exhibiting some pretty classic signs of anxiety and depression. Does your family have a doctor yet? Will your parents help you see a doctor or will they be resistant?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Nessa3
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 9/11/2008 4:50 PM (GMT -7)   
I can relate to most of these symptoms...the blurry vision, sensitive to light, and always feeling like im going to pass out!im scared too.. didnt know someone felt the way i do.. sad
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