Introducting myself ~ Yes, another anxiety sufferer

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Deejavu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4227
   Posted 9/10/2008 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all,
 
Just an introduction:  my name is Denise and I usually post on the lyme forum as I enjoy helping others.  I am not new to feeling anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and agoraphobia.
 
I remember suffering from panic attacks since I was a very young girl, maybe 5 years old or younger but I didn't know what they were called, just that the feelings were so scary.   I have gone through so many different stages of anxiety since then up to now (I am 51 years old).    Meds?  I take 20  mg. of Paxil every morning which has helped me tremendously.
 
After a horrible accident when I was 17 years old where I was hit by a speeding car in my legs and near death's door, I started to drink.  I became an alcoholic and drank until 1984 when I decided that if I kept up the drinking I was going to die from that.   I became sober and have remained sober to today.  I am one of the lucky ones as I never get an urge to drink.  Maybe because I was in so many detox units and remember the withdrawals from the booze. 
 
In any case I sympathize with everyone who posts here as I know how horrible anxiety feels. 
 
Just wanted to say hello!!
Denise

It's all about the Immune System mixed with a large dose of Positive Thinking...
 
This song is about my years with chronic lyme and being in remission for over 2 years:
 

genniefstr
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 9/10/2008 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and welcome. I to have suffered from attacks since I was a little girl. My 15 yr.old son has anxiety as well and it's no fun. Having this in childhood is horrible. There's some good ppl here. vent when you need to it's common. Just wanted to welcome you.
                       smiles,
                          gennie

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/10/2008 11:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi!

Welcome to the A/P forum, I am a recovering alcoholic and I know how much strength that takes..apply (oh I cannot spell!) it to your anxiety. It's not a cure, but it's a really good start. Denise, you are such a lovely soul to visit us here. :-)

Hugs, Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Buddha443556
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 293
   Posted 9/11/2008 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Denise, I like that Carly Simons Video in your signature.

Hugs,
Buddha

peacesoul
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 9/11/2008 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Denise......how ya been sweetie?

Did the anxeity get better or worse after lyme treatment?
As you can see, I am a mod on here so am as CRAZY as you...heheh! I've been down and out with anxiety as well. I'm doing coganative therapy for now

You think there is a bart connection?
Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
 
where we take it one panic attack at a time
 
 
 
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places


Deejavu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4227
   Posted 9/11/2008 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all,
 
Thanks for the warm welcome, it is much appreciated!  Yes, I have been a recovering alcoholic since 1984, stopped going to AA meetings for personal reasons though if a friend asks me to take him/her to a meeting, I do. 
 
I love Carly Simon, she has been a favorite of mine since I was a teenager. 
 
I was told my serotonin leaks out of part of my brain, thus the reason for anxiety and panic attacks.  The paxil really helps me even though I am on 20 mg. a day.  
 
Peacesoul, great to see you and I think it's wonderful that you are a moderator!  Way to go!!   As far as my anxiety, it has gotten so much better since I have been in remission from lyme, perhaps all the detoxing?  I honestly don't know the real reason.  I never had bart or if I did, I didn't have any of the symptoms.
 
Right now I am dealing with financial stress and thinking of selling my house.  It costs too much money to live on Long Island, the electric is so high!!  I'm sure the cost of living has affected everyone, just not me.
 
Funny, I am so thrilled I am better from lyme disease yet I face demons after being sick for 10 long years.   During those years I just kept cluttering up my house and I'm still working on uncluttering 10 years of hoarding stuff, things I don't need and it's overwhelming.   There are days I don't want to face it and I just escape through my work. 
 
Logically, if I want to sell my house, I have to clean it up and get it in order.  When I look at all my clutter, it brings back memories of my past when I was well and I get emotionally attached to "things", isn't that stupid?
 
So this is causing me some extra anxiety that I don't want to have in my life.
 
Hope to get to know more people on this forum since I am a newbie here.
 
Cheers to all,
Denise
It's all about the Immune System mixed with a large dose of Positive Thinking...
 
This song is about my years with chronic lyme and being in remission for over 2 years:
 

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 9/13/2008 11:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Denise, it's great to meet you!

Your first post made me realize just how awful it must be for kids out there with A/P. They are just so young and innocent, and to have something you don't understand make you frightened and shook up all the time has to be hard to deal with.

I am dealing with a bit of the clutter issue too. Wanting to share space with the man in my life has made me realize that I need to clear up some places in the house so that he can have room too. I've always kept a lot of things either because I get attached to them, as you say, or because I think I "might need them" someday. When it was just me, I didn't worry about it; now there's not enough room. Good luck to you! All I can suggest is trying to tackle just one little area at a time.

percycat

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 9/13/2008 12:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Just a note to say I am a packrat. I have so much clutter in my house and everywhere. I feel better knowing that I am not the only one that HANGS on to things forever. I always think that some day I am going to need these things, or like you said get attached to them. Even rocks. I love rocks, and agates. I have coffee cans of rocks everywhere. I know that it has to be cleaned up. I get anxiety just thinking about where to start. But I guess anywhere would be a beginning.

Thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one.

hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/15/2008 4:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Denise,

This is Kitt and welcome to the A & P forum.  Also thank you for sharing, that was very nice of you.

You are welcome here anytime. 

Gentle Hugs to you

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Deejavu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4227
   Posted 9/21/2008 5:52 AM (GMT -7)   
 Hi Percycat, Karen, Nikki and Kitt,
 
I already feel a sense of warmth from everyone here!  I need to post more and get to know everyone.  I just learned about Lyn and I will keep her in my prayers.  
 
After going to several doctors starting in my late 20's, I was told that I "inherited" this chemical imbalance in my brain.  All the females in my family suffer from phobia's, panic attacks, and chronic anxiety.  Lucky me!  I am grateful for Paxil for keeping the serotonin from leaking out to a certain degree.  
 
Nikki, I went to a 3 month program for panic disorder where I did exercises, had homework, had to face many of my phobia's and it didn't help.  Afterward, the doctors told me that in my case, it was genetic and that I needed medication.   I guess it all depends on the person.
 
As far as being a packrat, yes, I get emotionally attached to "things" and I just can't throw it in the garbage.  I have items from my first marriage (he passed away at a young age from cancer), then in the past 2 years I lost both my doggies and I have a ziploc bag where I keep their hair, is that crazy?   I never had children so my 2 boys were my furry children.   They were my biggest support system when I was suffering from lyme disease.   I could never throw that away.
 
Then comes my Dad who passed away 5 years ago and I was so close with him.  He was not only my Dad but my best friend as well.   I have fishing poles and all sorts of odds and ends that belonged to him.  I know if he were alive, he would tell me to get rid of it, LOL!   But I just can't.  What is wrong with me?  Why do I attach myself to these things instead of carrying the beautiful memories in my heart?  Sometimes I really don't understand myself at all...
 
Oh well, thanks for letting me vent,
Denise

It's all about the Immune System mixed with a large dose of Positive Thinking...
 
This song is about my years with chronic lyme and being in remission for over 2 years:
 

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/21/2008 7:15 AM (GMT -7)   

Denise,

Good Morning to you. ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))). Today is the 18th anniversary of our son's death from a car crash.  I still have special things of his, his wallet with all his ID's, the shoes he loved to wear dancing, his letter jacket.  Just a few years ago I made myself throw out the shoes he was wearing when he died.  You are pretty normal or we are both pack rats.............let's be normal, I like that better.

Nov 2008 I had to put my favorite dog, my best friend, Dee to sleep.  It about crushed me as she was my comfort.  I had her cremated and we buried he in the back yard where the sun always shine.  My daughter had a special plaque made for Dee and it is like a mini foot stone.  It helps me to know where she is.

I seem to come from a line of women in my family that had anxiety but it was referred to as " it is just Grandma's nerves today". So I never was close to that Grandma as she was frequently in bed with her nerves. shocked

There is nothing wrong with you in keeping things that ground you.  If you find comfort from keeping things, then do it.

You are very special here so know we care and stay with us.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Deejavu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4227
   Posted 9/21/2008 7:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Dearest Kitt,
 
Hugs back to you.  I have tears in my eyes after reading your post.  I am so very sorry about your son.  How devasting...  
 
Today is my 34th Anniversary in which I almost died from being run over by a speeding car in my legs when I was crossing a street.   The doctors told my parents on that day I wasn't going to make it but here I am and I still suffer from PTSD.   It took many, many operations to put me back together again physically.  
 
I'm so sorry about your dog Dee.  I have both my dogs buried on the side of my house and I planted flowers and a flowering small tree.  I still want to get a plaque to put there with their names on it.   I still feel a hole in my heart from losing my last doggie.  He was almost human to me.   I have 2 cats now (brother and sister) and I love them very much.  They were lucky to know my Felix before he crossed the rainbow bridge.   The 3 of them would sleep together, it was so adorable!
 
Yes, I do believe that panic, phobia's, anxiety, whatever can be genetic.  My sister has a fear of driving like myself.  My Mom who will be 83 years old has lots of phobia's and anxiety that she has suffered all her life.  Yet my 2 brothers are fine, I don't get it!
 
Thank you for writing about keeping things that comfort me and ground me.  My dogs meant the world to me.  I have let some of my Dad's things go, not much, but some.  
 
Today is a day I refuse to drive as it brings back to many bad memories and flashbacks even though it was 34 years ago.  I remember every single detail about that accident, amazing since I flew up in air (no, I didn't grow wings), and landed on my head.  300 stitches in my scalp and I never became unconsious (sp??).   I am one hard headed woman in more ways than one....
 
Thanks Kitt for sharing,
Denise
It's all about the Immune System mixed with a large dose of Positive Thinking...
 
This song is about my years with chronic lyme and being in remission for over 2 years:
 
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