"stinkin thinkin' please help!

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katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/14/2008 5:36 PM (GMT -7)   
For the past 3 months i have had this horrible fear that im going to lose control do something horrific like stab someone. Its getting to the point where even if i see a knife i get anxiety. I would never ever ever hurt anyone. I cant even put a live worm on a hook, let alone hurt an actual person! I get really creeped out when I watch shows like CSI miami and law and order. I keep thinking "what if i do something like that?" and then starts the panic. Its just so frustrating that I cant get this fear out of my head. I want to just stop thinking about it already! Has anyone else ever felt this way? Any words of encouragement would be helpful!

peacesoul
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 9/14/2008 6:29 PM (GMT -7)   
You can try an cognative approach and write down when you get these feelings what are you doing. What happened before you felt this feeling?
Is it real?

Everyone has these crazy thoughts in there head. I think it's quite common.


Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
 
where we take it one panic attack at a time
 
 
 
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places


stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/15/2008 4:03 AM (GMT -7)   

kate,

Good Morning, this is Kitt. I would like to suggest you see your physician and talk with him/her re these "thoughts"

CBT is another way to go. I don't feel having thoughts about stabbing someone is to be taken lightly. For some reason you are having these thoughts but try to stay in the moment. Let go of the thoughts, throw them away.

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

Kitt

 


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/15/2008 11:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your help ladies. I am going to see a psychiatrist, but not until October. For now, my family dr has me on pristiq and xanax if needed. I wish i could just stop thinking about the future. Its like I dont really think about actually stabbing someone, its more less just think what if I all of a sudden go crazy and freak out on someone right in the middle of a conversation or something like that. Its like i just never can settle down because im always thinking about the worst thing that can happen in every situation. Everytime I try to think of something positive i end up thinking about something negative to make me feel bad. Its so frustrating. All i want is to be relaxed and think positive thoughts so why cant I?? I just dont get it!

Barbz
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Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 848
   Posted 9/16/2008 5:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Kate i went through anxiety years ago and i used to fear going crazy also. I found a wonderful anxiety and phobia doctor and he tought me to ask myself and i had to write this down on paper so what if dont ask yourself what if ask yourself so what if and make a funny story out of it. so what if i grabbed that knife and tried to kill someone I will just chase them all over the house with it and when i catch them they will take it from me and laugh. that is what you have to change your thoughts to that is part of the cbt and at first you might not think it is working you just have to keep doing it and then you will start to notice a differance. just try it please it will work for you. Barb

BeesGee
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 9/17/2008 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Kate,

People with anxiety gets this scarry thoughts. Since you said you would never ever hurt anyone, then it's just a scarry thought. If you are considering it and you are not scared, then you need to get help immeidately. But since you are scared of it, I believe it's maybe one of those anxiety scarry thoughts. I suggest you use CBT; this really helps. I was just listening to an anxiety audio this morning and this person mentioned the same scarry thought you have about knife and also said she would never hurt anyone, so she said she just had one of those anxiety thoughts. Like Barbz says, try to use humor in it, imagine it with funny things. It takes practice to do this, but it should help you.................Beesgee
BeeSGee


katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/17/2008 2:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh wow. Thank you all so much for your help! Nikki, thank you for identifying with me, you have no idea how good that makes me feel! No lie, just reading everyones responses has dropped my anxiety level tremendously! I think what it is too is that people with anxiety have more of an imagination, which leaves more room for scary situations to be thought of! i read that in a book somewhere.

BeeSGee, What audio is this you are talking about, would you care to share it with me??

katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/17/2008 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Nikki,
yes i have heard of Lucinda Bassett. She sounds great but wow, really expensive. i called the number when i heard her commercial on the radio and asked how much it costs after the 30 day trial. wasnt it like 600 or something?? thats just too much for me right now :( But you really think its helping you?? if it was worth it i definitly would consider saving up for it or asking my family to help me out with the cost. whats so different about her and every other self help stuff out there?

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 9/17/2008 7:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Just wanted to add that if CSI and Law & Order are some of the sources of this anxiety, I would definitely stop watching them.
I honestly had to stop watching Law & Order (my favorite show) for about a year because of a lawsuit I was going through and
it would heighten my flashbacks, nightmares and memories of what happened. I totally and completely stopped watching those
shows and switched to funny, dorky shows and reality competition shows. Instant relief!

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 9/17/2008 7:07 PM (GMT -7)   
p.s. If you tell a Psychiatrist you have thoughts of stabbing someone, no matter how you say it, they may consider
you homicidal and commit you to a hospital. I've been in a hospital (suicidal) and I don't recommend it.
If you mention you're suicidal or homicidal (or they interpret what you're saying to be either), you will be committed
for at least a 72-hour hold and, believe me, it's not fun.

BeesGee
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 9/17/2008 8:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Kate,

Below is the link to the audio tapes I listen and these are the tapes that actually made me feel better. Session 10 of this audio talks about the scarry thoughts you mentioned Interesting, that on the group session of this particular tape, there were at least 3 people who experienced the same scarry thing about knives and they were all scared about it and realized that these were just thoughts. These tapes really helped me, but my scarry thought now is about my health. FYI, these tapes are expensive, I believe about $500+. I wish I could just let you borrow mine, but I'm still using them. For me, it was really worth it. It's the same tape that Nikki is referring to. I actually spent a lot more with the doctors for years, but that was not the one that helped me, it's these tapes.

One of my biggest fear was flying and I thought I would never leave this country. After I purchased the tape in the beginning of January 2005 and I flew to Europe in Mid March 2005 and visited 8 countries. After that, I have been going on vacation to other countries every year. I have been to 24 different counries after I listened to this tape.

Now that I'm having too much GERD, my anxiety is coming back cause the other scarry thing I have is about health. However, I'm dealing with it much better than before. I started to listen to the tapes again this week for a refresher to get rid of my scarry health problems. Try the link below to get more information.

http://www.stresscenter.com/program/

Beesgee
BeeSGee


BeesGee
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 9/17/2008 8:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Kate,

FYI, I also ordered another set of audio tapes, but to me, those were not helpful. They were slow and more for kids. That cost $199. So if you will purchase, make sure that you get the good ones, even if it cost more.

Beesgee
BeeSGee


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/17/2008 8:26 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Kate,

How are you doing?  I am glad you got such a splendid response from the members.  They are all simply quite wonderful.  Keep talking to them.

We all care about you and we are here to support you.  Hugs to you sweetie.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/18/2008 1:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I am feeling really good today (knock on wood) and have been feeling like im getting a little better everyday. Sometimes my anxiety can really get me going into thinking im going crazy and my world is ending. Im really thankful that I have you guys to help me get past my irrational thinking and obsessing.

Here Kitty- I dont think they would put me into a mental hospital for telling my doctor something that im afraid of, but if they do well then I guess if thats what its going to take to cure me so be it! lol!!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/18/2008 4:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Kate,

I agree with you.  If your going to see a Pdoc you should share your thoughts.  They will ask you right out if you have a plan to harm someone or not................ They won't haul you off to the locked ward.

I am glad you are feeling better.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Barbz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 848
   Posted 9/19/2008 4:37 AM (GMT -7)   
kate you can get the book she has out that is what i did. Then i also got the tapes to by Lucinda Bassett. Barb

katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/19/2008 11:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Really? how much does the book cost? does it have the same stuff in it?

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/19/2008 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Kate,

This is a book highly recommended by many of our members.............

It is a CD audio series.  You may try getting it at your library.

Pass Through Panic: Freeing Yourself from Anxiety and Fear
by: Claire Weekes

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts
cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations,and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change. If you cannot do it through therapy, here is a free web site that you can work on line at you own pace. Just click on the link and the site will pop up for you.

The MoodGym Training Program


http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/

Good luck and know I am thinking of you.

Kitt


 


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


anxiety2008
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/19/2008 2:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I just had to respond to your post to try and reassure you. I started having thoughts like this when I was about 20 years old. One of my scary thoughts was knives, too. It was so bad at one point, I threw my knife set away so I could not get to a knife. I have never been hospitalized for telling my therapist about these thoughts. I have had several different ones and they all say the same thing... as long as you are scared of these thoughts, you are ok. Like you were told above, if they didn't scare you it would be a problem. People with anxiety/panic have scary thoughts and you are right, it is because we have vivid imaginations!!! I recommend the Lucinda Bassett tapes. I went through a very difficult time several years ago where I didn't even want to leave my house and these tapes got me through that. One of the first tapes you will listen to has someone talking about their fear of the scary thoughts they had about knives. When I first listened to that, I cried from the relief that I wasn't the only one! I know it is a lot of money but it's worth every penny! I don't want to ever be without these tapes when I go through a rough period. I hope I have helped you. It is one of the best things someone can do for you right now is to let you know you are not alone and you are not going to lose it/go crazy. Good luck.

katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/19/2008 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
anxiety2008,
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I think one of the best things a person with anxeity can hear is "your not alone" I was seriously thinking about throwing my knives away too!!! lol!! im to the point now where i can laugh at it (for the most part) and think "oh it was just my anxiety getting to me" Thank you for the suggestion on the Lucinda Bassett tapes. I think im going to but it. It says on the website that you can do monthly payments of 59.99 and I think i can swing that. Enought people have told me that it works in order to convince to that its worth the money.

So how long have you had annxiety? do you have to take meds for it? Right now i take the lowest dose of Pristiq, but i would sure like to be taken off of it if i can. Thanks again for that post and your positivity, im sure youll be helping a lot of people on this site!

anxiety2008
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/19/2008 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
You are very welcome. I've been where you've been and it sucks but you will get past it! I have had anxiety all my life but panic disorder for about 20 years. It is a very difficult thing and most people that meet me can't believe I have it. They think I am a "can do" type of person when in reality, I can't even drive 10 minutes away from my home. I am on Zoloft 100 mg. I have been on Zoloft for years. I started on 50 mg but when I had the last "episode" my dr. raised it to 100. I don't think at this point I would recommend you going off your medication unless you think it is making you worse. The medicine has really helped me. If you buy the tapes and get through them, maybe then you could go off your med. That is just a recommendation, talk to your dr. I don't actually see a psychiatrist, my family dr. prescribes mine. The main things to remember are that you are not crazy, you aren't going to lose control, you are not alone and the way you think causes the anxiety to be worse. I only wish I could convince MYSELF of these things when I am in the middle of a panic attack! lol.

I was wondering about the Pristiq. What is the difference between it and Zoloft? My fear now is that I will become "used to" the dose I am on and have to be upped again. I have heard that happens and I have been on this dose for a few years.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/19/2008 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Anxiety,

You may ask your Doctor about the difference between the meds. Zoloft has been around a long time and Pristiq is new to the market.  It always depends on how each individual responds to the med. :-)

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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