New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Disenchanted__
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 9/15/2008 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay,
well.
Lately i just started going back to school (high school), and its a new school (because i moved) so i dont really know anyone and they dont know me.
And when i get to school i become so depressed because everyone has their little groups and Cliques, and im to afraid to talk to people, because im afraid that they will find out that im depressed or that i have an anxiety disorder, im not really sure what to think anymore. I dont want to go to school for the rest of the year not having any friends, but i dont want to go up to people and try talking to them and be rejected as a friend ( because this has happened to me in the past). I dont know anymore. Im sick of going into the bathroom stall crying just because i have no friends, even though i have started going to this school about 5 days ago. I guess one cant make friends this fast. But i just want to be able to have someone to talk to when im in lunch break or something. All they do is stare at me, (probably because i am the "new girl".)
I dont want people to know that im 19 also, because most people in high school arent 18 years old.
and i dont want to give up this fast because this is my last chance to graduate and by all my means i want to. But i feel that i cant go on like this alone. I need moral support. =[

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 9/15/2008 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, sweetie.

You are definitely going through a rough adjustment right now. I understand how concerned you are about meeting new people. Maybe there's a setting that won't be so discouraging for you. Are you involved in any extra-curricular activities, or are they any new ones for this fall that are just starting up? Going to the first meeting of an organization might not be so nervewracking because everyone is waiting to see how the new semester pans out. Yes, some students do already know each other, but the dynamic of a club, musical group, theater or writing group changes every year as new people join in and seniors graduate. You may find that many groups are looking to fill gaps left by those who graduated in the spring, and that puts just about all the members on an equal footing.

Do you feel comfortable talking with a teacher or guidance counselor about making friends? They likely know who the "cliquish" students are and who would be more welcoming of a new face.

I agree that you don't need to tell anyone how old you are. They'll probably assume you're the same age they are, and you can just leave it that way.

Hang in there, and remember your goal of graduating. You can make it through this tough time of finding friends, and you will feel more empowered as you watch yourself succeed in classes.

Keep posting - we're here for you.

Hugs,
percycat

Marie-Claire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 9/15/2008 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Sweetie... High school is hard especially if you are new to the school. I was sooo shy in high school and couldn't wait to graduate.
Percycat has some good ideas... what about joining an after school club or try out for a sport. ? Do you like reading? is there a book club.
I met most of my friends in the library. I would pick a book I really had enjoyed and if someone was in that same aisle I would smile and say " have you read this one... its really good".
If all else fails.... SMILE! for all your worth. Pick a day... say Friday.. I will smile at at least 5 new people and say hi... nothing more... just a big old smile and a hello. Next week...pick another day... I will smile at at least 7 people I don't know and say "how are you". Then pick someone you know is in one of your classes... not someone who is in a clique but someone who might be in the same boat you are... smile and say.. hey I think we might be in the same ? class... how do you like the teacher.
One little step at a time.
When we moved to this new town... my children and I were traumatized, frightened , sad etc... So we volunteered for whatever came along.... we met wonderful people...
Still to this day, especially if I'm having a bad day... I say "Mary, you are going out for fresh air... and you are going to smile at everyone you meet. I talk to people with new babies, or dogs, puppies. " Now half the town knows me and I truly feel like part of this little community.
I will keep you in my thoughts dear one.... I know its hard. But you had enough courage and resourcefullness to come to us! That was smart! You can do this. We are cheering you on!
Your assignment for tomorrow is to smile at one person only... keep your head high...no walking with your eyes looking at your feet. Smile and make eye contact with one person.... Little steps my love! You will get there!
Come to us often ok... we are rooting for you... you have your very own cheerleading team here!
Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.
 
 


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/16/2008 12:35 AM (GMT -7)   

I'm so very sorry you are going through this. High school is tough enough withpout all of this stuff going on as well.

(((((hugs)))))

You have been given some great advice here all ready (thanks mary, percycat, Nikki)..so I won't bore you with my own.

Just know that I am on your cheerleading squad too. This is a tough time for you, but it will pass and you will be stronger for it.

Hang in there honey,

hugs,

meg

 


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/16/2008 4:45 AM (GMT -7)   

Disenchanted

Good Morning and Hello and Welcome to the HealingWell A & P forum.  We love new members so I am glad you found us.

I understand your feelings and I believe it is something that most likely happens to most teens that have to move to a new school their senior year. Don't feel like an outcast.  You do not have to tell anyone of your depression, or your anxiety...........that is not who you are.  You are a wonderful young person ready to give your friendship to others. 

Anytime we make a change in our lives it may be traumatic and painful and I suspect that has also added to your anxiety.

Just be yourself and know you are going to make friends, some special friends but just let it happen.  If you smile and say hello it may make some other person who is lonely feel better.  Don't worry if people don't respond at first as they may not be used to someone smiling at them

Gentle Hugs to you,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 9/16/2008 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   
I feel alone too, ...everyday, of my life... the inevitable loss for everything I hold dear is quite a strain on my heart daily... but ... I would never fall to social situations ... I'm more of a loner personally... if someone doesn't like me or what I do... then I have no time for them...
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 9:10 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,464 posts in 301,216 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151332 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Blueswoman.
309 Guest(s), 8 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
DQueen, Charmed3, mspt98, time2reclaim, Suffering34, Red_34, Yarbo3, Mister Mike


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer