Please help me I feel Alone

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Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/17/2008 11:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi members and Mods of healingwell
 
Please help me
 
The past two weeks almost I been feeling like crap I feel like something is wrong with me..ever since Last week on monday I been scared..I ahvent used the bathroom really good since saturday of two weeks ago.Lately I been having constipation and diahrreah..My necks been hurting and I been having panic attacks.I constantly think about my hiv test I took on tuesday..I feel like something is wrong Im constantly checking myself and worried..sometimes through out my day i'll relax and try to calm down but then later on i will worked up again crying feeling like Im alone and something is wrong I feel like im not getting any help and Im so scared sometime I just wanna jump off a cliff..I fear I might have HIV because of the way im feeling..Im scared that it my ruin my life if I have it Im not certain if I have it but the way I feel mentally and physically makes me scared out my mind.Im so young and so scared ..I never been the best son or person ever in my life.I want kids one day and I want a family..Im so nervous and just feel like im stuck in a small box with no way out most of the time please help me.I wanted to see a doctor but i'am not rich =( nor do I have that kind of money.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 9/17/2008 12:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I take it that you haven't gotten the results of your test back yet. It sounds like pure anxiety to me. That can effect your bowels. I guess it sounds like irritable bowel syndrome to me. And I know that anxiety can cause that to happen. Hopefully once you get your emotions under control, that will be as well.

I hope that your test comes back okay. And once it does, you know the precautions that you need to take from now on.

Try not to worry, that just causes more anxiety. As Kitt would say, kick that to the curb.

Best wishes to you,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/17/2008 2:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I wish that I could get all the HIV posts in the healing well forum and send them to you. You are def not alone in the way you are feeling. I myself was going through the same EXACT thing. I couldnt convince my self that I didnt have HIV even after 3 tests AND making my boyfriend get tested too! Your probably not even worried about the HIV test as much as you are worried about the outcomes that you are thinking about. Please Please know that I feel your pain and everything will be alright. Did you get the test back or not? please keep us posted on how you are doing.
(((HUGS)))
Kate

Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/17/2008 6:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Kate,No I havent got it back I took it tuesday..and Im calm and then im freaking out because I think about how I feel..and it scared me I still cant use the bathroom good like I use to constipation and diahrreah and it scares me I really feel and think something is wrong.even when im not as scared everythign feels wrong and i still cant use the bathroom.Im so scared I even think my ex from a yr ago could have given me something I get my test on tuesday..and I feel like something is wrong with me im not as energetic as I was or anything.Im scared but not as scared but then some times all be scared out my mind Im not so old and I want kids and a wife and someone I feel like something is wrong I dont wannabb disabled or anything :((((

katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/17/2008 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
kyle,
we live in a society where almost everyone i know is talking about stomach problems. I myself have stomach problems. I once went 17 days without going to the bathroom! sorry if that was TMI. and then now on the other hand, my boyfriend have chrons disease which means hes going all the time. You are going to be okay, youve probable got a little of both because your body is in fright mode right now. if you dont have money to see a dr, i would maybe go to a organic market and talk to the staff about whats going on with you. I take multivitimins in addition to my perscript and ill tell you, they help me a lot. One day i would love to just take vitamins and thats it, but for now, thats not going to happen.

ps, do you know how little the odds are of a women giving HIV to a guy anyways?? its like 1 in 100000000000000000000 (not sure the the exact statistic) not sure on the exact statistic, but its very unlikely. Nikki, is so right anxiety can trick you into anything!!

Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/17/2008 7:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Kate Im trying to relax and I have been less stressed it's just that Mentally and phsyically I feel Ill.I try to relax and then I look at myself and think about how I feel and ask myself if im okay why did I lose this much weight why are these pinkish dots on my chest or on my thighs or why my wrist doesnt feel the same and it freaks me out like crazy.=/

nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/17/2008 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   

Kyl3,

you have been given so much good advice, and I'm glad that your anxiety is going down a little. IBS is common among people who are stressed. have you ever tried glycerine suppositories? They are very gentle on your bowels, but can get things moving! They are cheap and over the counter from your pharmacist. Keep up with the positive thinking. Sometimes spots are just spots and anxiety can cause weight loss too. If you don't have the money for a doctor or therapy I can suggest a website called www.moodgym.com.au that is free and helps with negative thinking. Stay with us okay?

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/17/2008 9:19 PM (GMT -7)   

Kyl3,

Hello, this is Kitt.

Far and away the most important advice I can give is that you visit a  health professional, immediately; ask your primary care Doctor for a referral .  You need to deal with your obvious depression. , and the unreasoned, truly irrational level of fear and anxiety you are showing.  I am so sorry you are going through this tough time.

Take care

Kitt



 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Post Edited (stkitt) : 9/19/2008 7:29:28 AM (GMT-6)


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 9/18/2008 6:18 AM (GMT -7)   

Kyl3,

just checking in on you, I care, let us know how you are going and email me any time you need (envelope icon)

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/18/2008 12:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi..Last night I went to the hospital and they an ekg..and x-ray me and found nothing wrong Im not on meds or anything but I havent been feeling well I been feeling like crap lately..I got real scared because they found nothing wrong..I get my test results on this tuesday coming up...Im nervous and I dont know what to think..Im not as scared as I was just scared that why I feel this way and everything.I dont wanna have HIV ..Recently Im talking to this girl I use to date and I still like her but Im also in fear that I might have HIV and will not have kids and not have a bright future..the doctor said everything looked find but he did not look for HIV.Im scared and I wanna know why I feel the way I do..because even when Im not as scared and just alil fearfull I worry that I might Have HIV it's been a week and a half since I got my blood taken =./

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/18/2008 1:38 PM (GMT -7)   

Kyl,

Please see a therapist as you are obsessed with having HIV. That is the best thing for you now, therapy to deal with your fear.

Take care
Kitt


Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/18/2008 2:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Im crying because I gotta wait till tuesday for my results of my HIV test and im talking to my ex I cant tell her what im going through right now we never had sex but I love her and I wanna spend my life with her and have kids with her but I dont want HIV :( Im scared and sad Im using the bathroom better now but im upset because I've had all these aches and pains and when the doctor scanned me I looked fine but they didnt check for HIV im really scared now.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/18/2008 4:09 PM (GMT -7)   

Kyl,

Stop with the 'stinkin thinkin".  You are letting it run your life so kick it to the curb.  You are OK. 

Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week , try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself

Instead of focusing on doom, stay in the moment. Give yourself breathing space. Consider what matters to you. Establish a few manageable goals, then take small steps toward achieving them.

For a fresh perspective, get a good night's sleep.

Peace,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/18/2008 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi..Im not stressing as much just worried my friend who also is a member of this site went and took/got his test results in.He came back positive..I called in today and they said that I had to wait for my results on Tuesday.I then called again and told them how I was worried and my friend just told me he was positive they said my test was in and I can come in today..I didnt have no way to make it and asked if I can get it over the phone they said no..and Asked if I can come in tomorrow If I cant come in today something Like that so NOw im pretty scared/worried not freaking out like crazy just yet but scared because my friend has simular sympthoms as me and such and he came back positive please say and prayer if you may for me tomorrow when I go pick up my results at 8:30AM =( Love Kyle

Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/18/2008 7:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Can I talk to anyone plz Im scared :(

Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/18/2008 11:02 PM (GMT -7)   
IMMA GET MY RESULTS THIS MONRING LATER ON I LOVE YOU GUYS GOODNIGHT AND THANKS FOR YOUR HELP I'LL SAY A PRAYER FOR EVERYONE LOVE KYLE<3

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/19/2008 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Kyl,

I am praying for you and I know you are going to be fine.  I am not sure what time zone you are in but where I am it is 8:32 AM so I am prayig right now.

Know we care and you are not alone.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/19/2008 12:04 PM (GMT -7)   
today I got my test results back and they became negative but my head still hurts and it feels like I have a headache =/ For some reason I still feel scared..=/

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/19/2008 12:36 PM (GMT -7)   

Kyl,

What is it you are scared of?  Your test was neganitve just as we thought. Let go of the fear re the test, it is history.  You faced your problem now believe that the results are true.

Kitt


katekate888
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 9/19/2008 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Kyl, I knew as i was reading the posts that you were going to say that you were still scared because thats exactly how i felt when the same SAME exact thing happened to me. I thought, what if they didnt test it right? what if they missed it. The truth is, the lab techs are so incredibly careful when they test for HIV and if they noticed any discrepancy with your test they wouldve called you asap and retested. but when its negative, its a def negative. You are still scared because the past few days youve probably been living your life in shame as if you really did have HIV when in fact you dont at all! Let the results sink in, and besides remember that not only do you have HIV, but your chances of having it anyways were sooooo low. Keep us posted on how you are doing, and i will pray for you tonight. Take care kyle!!

Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/19/2008 9:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Kate Im still worried im trying to sink it in but im still scared and wondering was this all anxiety that I had felt and everything when ever you had anxiety and had like two panic attack and for like two weeks of scared crying feeling like crap and everything did it take you awhile to feel better because I still have a hurt head and all but im trying to feel better..KATE YOUR SWEET I WILL PRAY FOR YOU ALSO AND EVERYONE ELSE NOT BECAUSE YOU SAID YOUR GONNA PRAY FOR ME BUT JUST BECAUSE <3 KYLE.

Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/20/2008 1:29 AM (GMT -7)   
i cant sleep why do i feel weird i feel uneasy and weird whats wrong with me =/ help did u go through this kate>?

Jillene
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 9/20/2008 4:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Kyl, I know exactly how you are feeling - I had the same test done a month ago...everything was fine but I still feel worried. SO worried that I feel I am pushing my boyfriend away....My anxiety has increased so much since I had the test.......I dont know why...I can't seem to get over it. I'm crying all the time too....
are you feeling any better?

Kyl3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/22/2008 3:03 AM (GMT 0)   
I dont know whats wrong with me..Last night I went out and couldnt do anything ..Couldnt try to have a good time because everyonce in awhile I would think about it..and Im constantly checking my tongue I was never like this befor..I've never been on pills or anything Im not as scared but I keep checking my body out and everything I've neever been like this befor whats wrong with me sometimes I feel like crying =( I was never like this and I hardly ever use to cry..

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/22/2008 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Kyl

Good Morning. I worked in the medical field and I stuck myself with a contaminated needle. I remember coming home and crying to my husband.  I believe he  was more upset then I was.  I had the test done and then I adopted the belief that however the test came out, it was now out of my hands. It did come back negative.

Anxiety can mess with your head even when you get the test results and are negative. 

Any other physical or mental stress going on in your life right now besides this concern.

One of the best simple ways to deal with Anxiety is breathing. Simple things like inhale to your lungs full capacity, hold it, then exhale imagining all of the stress to leave your body with the air that is exhaled. Getting yourself to a quiet calm place is another way to help and be able to breathe. Imagining a beautiful scene in your mind, counting to 100, counting your breath and trying to slow it are all techniques that really do help.

I wish you peace,
Kitt
 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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